Dating and Fibromyalgia

[TrudieC]

I am new to the dating world after leaving my husband 4 months ago.  I have met a very nice man for coffee and we have agreed to continue dating.  I am at a loss as to how and when to tell him of my fibromyalgia issues.  Has anyone had any experience with this or have any advice?

[TrudieC]

It became a non-issue.  He told me about his arthritis first!  All is going fantastic!

[acker]

if he had significant health matters, when would you want to be told - ?
good luck with it... :)

[geminigirl1963]

First of all, congrats on meeting someone!

I somewhat agree that it may be a bit early to "tell all" regarding health issues - some people (unfortunately too many) get scared off when the people they are interested in/involved with aren't "perfectly" healthy.  However, I also am a HUGE believer in being honest in any relationship and by not telling him about your health issues you run the risk of it coming back to bite you in the butt if he feels that you've been dishonest with him when you do tell him.  

What I can suggest is that whenever you do decide to tell him, try to be as upbeat and positive about it as possible - let him know that while you do have a chronic illness and there may very well be days when you're not up to doing much or even be able to do something that you might have been able to do even a few days before - that you do your best to try not to let it get you down or keep you from doing the things that you really enjoy.  Also be sure to ask him if he has any questions about fibro.  So many people, even some doctors, still don't understand fibro, so it's quite posible that he may not understand what you go through on a daily basis.

It is true that it's completely up to you when you tell him, but also ask yourself if it's better to find out now, before you get too emotionally involved, if he can't or isn't willing to handle a chronic health issue - or if you'd rather (and are more comfortable with) find out later in the relatiionship when it may hurt more if you discover that he can't or won't deal with it.

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck!

[sharmar]

If you have only dated him once or twice, I agree, at this point it is none of his business and you risk coming across as needy. Get to know him better, when you feel comfortable enough you will know. Meaning when you feel comfortable making this decision without asking for advice on here....make sense? Good luck to you!

[CakeisgoodFrostingisbetter]

if you have only gone on 1 to 2 dates with him, i wouldn't tell him yet.  It's too soon and none of his business at this point.  Tell him when that opportunity arises and when you feel comfortable enough to talk openly with him about it.

Good luck to you.  :)