Do any of you get in-home assistance?

[Kenderyl]

I wondered if any of you have applied for/receive in-home assistance to help you with your daily tasks? I've had a "flare" for nearly 8 months now and my Fiance just can't keep up with the demands of me and our four children. I was hoping to check into (at the suggestion of an agency representative who provides care givers for my disabled daughter) getting someone to come in and help w/ the daily household chores that are difficult for me to keep up on due to my illness. Laundry, shopping, vacuuming, etc.

I'm apprehensive to apply, however. I'm fearful that once a flare goes away (that does happen doesn't it?!? They do EVENTUALLY leave us?! lol) That I'll be in limbo w/ loving the extra help and not really needing it until the next flare. How long do "flares" last? Or am I just realizing my symptoms and they're not really flared at all? The other thing I worry about is that if I don't apply - my Fiance is going to leave me because he's just SO over-stressed and cannot manage to do the excess work that is now required of him. I don't think either of us realized how bad I was getting until it snowballed into the huge mess that we're currently struggling with. I try to get some things done but even just a load of laundry and a load of dishes is about enough to place me on 'physically forced bedrest' for a day or more. The care of our toddler too, is just SO difficult on top of the other chores that I either have to pick one or the other, neither really being tended to as I'd like it to be done. I've found that even playing on the floor with her is taxing on my stamina. It makes me so sad. :(

I hate that my body isn't keeping up w/ me - the resulting depression to that isn't helping things. It's a vicious circle and I'm desperately trying to get some help so that I can "climb" (ugh, just that word makes me cringe w/ exhaustion) out of the hole I'm in.

[Phtartist]

Just stay in the "here and now".  Right here right now you need help.  The weakness and flu like symptoms you have can last quite some time.  I forget from previous chats how long you have been diagnosed, but if you are early on in your illness, you should get extra help.

Having four children is a joy and a huge committment with non stop energy demands.  I am amazed you and your fiance' have maintained any sanity to date.  

With getting help you will find changes in so many ways. I can bet if you checked your body right now every muscle, besides hurting, is tighter than a twisted rubberband.  With assistance around the home, this will relax.

Best wishes to you dear girl.

[VaBreeze]

You're very welcome Kenderyl...and thank you.  I hope you will follow through with this and that you can get the help you so desperately need.  It never hurst to ask.  Take care.

[Kenderyl]

Found this article: http://health.msn.com/health-topics/caregiving/articlepage.aspx?cp-documentid=100167121  thought it may help some of you as well.

"You may consider home care services if you need assistance caring for yourself because:

    * You're less able to care for yourself as you get older
    * You have a disability
    * You're recovering from an illness, surgery or a hospital stay
    * You're living with a chronic illness
    * You have a terminal illness"

[Kenderyl]

Thank you for the link. I guess I'm just scared to do it while at the same time, am well aware of how much my family and I would benefit from some extra help. I don't have family in the area and I lost my friends during my pregnancy (many I had to let go myself because they were just not healthy relationships.) We only just started to investigate going to church but honestly, the past two weeks I've felt so miserable that I couldn't go. :(  

[VaBreeze]

http://www1.dshs.wa.gov/

Here is the link to Washington's Dept. of Social and Health Services.  If they can't help you they may be able to point you in the direction to someone who can.

[VaBreeze]

I can't begin to imagine how tired you must feel; maintaining a home, children and your fiance while having a flare.  

If you have a place where you could apply for help, then yes, by all means do so.  If you qualify then they can just send someone out when you are having a flare and need them.  There is no way to measure how long flares are going to last.  I find that I have symptoms daily and when I am flaring, that is a time when i'm typically in the bed for a day or two.  

I'm not sure what type of programs are available in your area, but the first thing I would check into (should you apply) is the costliness of receiving the help.  I am not getting any type of assistance, but I also do not have 4 children to keep up with (and that's more than a handfull).  

I hope you can get some type of help...I know how hard it is to try and keep up with everything.  Please take care of yourself too.