Can't eat at my girlfriends house

[Jrunner69]

17 I eat absolutely loads like a standard teenage boy.
I've had a girlfriend for 2 months now
When im round hers for dinner and sit with her family I physically can't eat the food in front of me
Holding back gag reflexes while everyone else tucks in, I then start sweating and shaking. I get through the meal by swollowing food down with water.
This exact thing happened with my previos girlfriend and now it's happening again !? It could affect our relationship because I'm always avoiding eating dinner with her family.
My eating habits are abit weird, I can't eat much in the mornings and If I get too hungry I feel sick and eat less which just makes everything worse..
Grateful if anyone could help me out

[Murphyslaw1970]

Good Morning,

My feedback to you would be this...Given that this has been a pattern of reactive behaviour for you I think anxiety is likely at work here. With any healthy relationship communication is the greatest predictor of sucess. Tell your girlfriend how you feel and ask not to be put in those situations until ypou feel you have yourself under control. I would also make an apointment to see a medical professional as low blood sugar may be a factor with the shakiyness and sweating..I would be curious about maybe diabetes as well...If diatbetes runs in your family especially. I'm sure your condition is merely going to pass when you find you feel supported and accepted and familiar with those around you. Just to be safe,,,,get blood panel and glucose screening...good luck!!

[silverfox67]

Thank you for your input.  After I suggested dicyclomine I wished I could take it back.  Bravo.   You are so right - a teenager shouldn't have to take meds.

[FurballsMom]

Be aware that Dicyclomine can be very sedating.  If you decide to try it, start with the very lowest dosage.  Also, try the other suggestions first.  I don't believe it is a good idea for a young person such as yourself to reach for medications first if the problem can be handled without medications.  While I understand why Dicyclomine might be used for esophageal spasms, it is most commonly prescribed for a condition called Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS).  The side effects of the drug may be more than you bargained for:

Dizziness, drowsiness, lightheadedness, weakness, blurred vision, dry eyes, dry mouth, nausea, constipation, and abdominal bloating may occur. If any of these effects persist or worsen, tell your doctor or pharmacist promptly.

Do NOT drive or operate any sort of machinery until you can properly assess how this medication affects you.  I personally find it so sedating that I avoid taking it.  When I take it, I know I am unfit to drive.  I have to sleep it off, and I take a very low dose, too.  It sounds like you are old enough to drive, so make sure you heed this advice about not driving until you know how you are affected.

Personally, I would try making a homemade ginger tea.  More correctly it is called a decoction.  It is very easy to make your own ginger tea.  You can even adjust it to taste.  I recommend trying it without sweetener of any sort if you can.  Too much sugar in the diet can wreak havoc on the digestive tract.  If you do find you don't tolerate it without some sugar, keep the amount you use at the lowest amount you can tolerate.  Better yet, use some RAW honey if you're not allergic to honey.  RAW honey has some enzymes in it that may prove beneficial to your digestive tract, provided you don't consume too much at any one time.  

Just buy some ginger root from the produce section of your grocery store.  If you have never bought ginger root before have someone show you where it is.  If your store has an organic section, spend a little bit more money on the organic ginger root.  FYI:  Ginger root tea is a very common and old traditional remedy for nausea that has been used for millennium, and it is effective.  Start a small pot of water boiling on the stove.  I just use my smallest sauce pan.  While you're waiting for the water, cut off or break off a section of ginger.  You may want to start off with about a one inch section of ginger, then adjust to taste.  Use a paring knife to peel the tan skin off of the piece of root you are preparing.  Your vegetable peeler will not work on ginger. Then, slice the ginger into thin discs across the grain.  You do not need to make it paper thin or anything that extreme, but do slice it thinly.  The thinner the better, but paper thin is rather extreme.  Once the water is boiling, toss the ginger into the water.  If your ginger is sliced thinly enough, it only takes seconds for the tea to become strong enough.  Do this:  Spoon out a little bit of the ginger tea you made and place into your cup.  This will help cool it sufficiently for you to taste the strength of the tea.  If it seems too weak, you can easily still add more ginger until it suits your taste.

I would definitely try this and the first suggestions mentioned before reaching for medication.  It might even be just enough of a solution to your problem.  The warmth of the tea may be sufficient to relax the muscles in your throat so you can swallow comfortably.  If it's not a full solution, it should help.

If there is a history of acid reflux (GERD) and/or hiatal hernia in your family, you should also do some research on that.  Some of the symptoms you're having do sound like the beginning stages of GERD and possibly hiatal hernia.  Do a lot of research and exercise caution.  If a doctor suggests surgery too early in the game (as you are a young person), get a second and even a third opinion.  

If it's not GERD, there are other types of throat issues--many of which can actually be addressed by seeing a specialized speech therapist that can teach you specific breathing exercises that could help.  It is called larynology and the speech therapist is called a speech/language pathologist.  The type of doctor you would see is called an otolaryngologist.  A doctor at the top in this field is Albert Merati.  Many from all over the world go to see him.  Just research his name online and you'll find the information you need.  He is that well known.

So, those are a couple of suggestions on things you can research to find out what is happening and why.

[silverfox67]

When I can't swallow, I take prescription, Dicyclomine.  It's an anti-spasmodic for esophageal spasms.  Maybe your doctor will prescribe it for you.

[Jrunner69]

I didnt even know its something a doctor can deal with, so ill do some research and see my gp
Thanks for your help

[mbr343]

It sounds like you may have 2 issues.  

I would recommend eating small "meals" every so often through the day (even if it is just keeping a peice of fruit and peanut butter, a bag of almonds and veggies and dip, or sandwiches that are cut in half, etc) so that you are not waiting long periods between meals.  Once you are sick to your stomach, it's nearly impossible to eat, so just don't let it get to that point.  Be prepared (but with healthy mini meals that will sustain you, not sugar fixes or energy bars etc)

Then you should be able to deal with the second issue which sounds more like anxiety and is keeping you from eating in stressful situations..  I would be honest with a dr and tell them exactly what you just wrote and see if there isn't a mild anti-anxiety medication that they can put you on just until you have broken the ice and feel more confident.

[Anonymouse88]

Are you getting really anxious about eating in front of her parents?  That's the only thing I can think of right now that would cause such a situational reaction.  Do some research on anxiety, especially social anxiety (which can be situation specific), and see if you think it fits.  If you think it does, talk to your doctor about ways to treat it, either through meds, therapy, or both.

I know all about the feeling sick if you don't eat enough.  A low blood sugar can make you feel shaky and sick to your stomach.  Drinking a little soda or juice and waiting a couple minutes can quickly get your sugar high enough that you don't feel so sick, and then it's easier to eat.  If it's so bad that you can't stomach even juice/soda, take anything really sweet, like sugar, honey, or icing, and just hold it in your mouth.  You can absorb sugar directly to your bloodstream through your mouth, and it works pretty quickly too.