Missing My Sister SO Much.

[Cheyenne_08]

My name is Cheyenne and I am 20 years old. 7 years ago my sister Amanda was killed in a car accident. She was 17, and my 16 year old sister Brittany was driving the car. The police say my sister fell asleep at the wheel and hit a tree less than a quarter of a mile from where she had just left. I was reading the police report last night, and there are so many unanswered questions. My sister Brittany drove off a curve and hit a tree, which happened to be the only thing off the curve. She made no attempt to stop or swerve. The only witness said he witnessed head lights swirving, which is not consistent with the way the car went off the road. Brittany doesn't remember anything after leaving work that morning, and its so hard not knowing the truth. I have no idea what happened and i miss my sister so much. Sometimes it hurts so bad, and even after 7 years, it feels like it was just yesterday. How do you find a way to live with the unanswered questions and keep them from eating away at you??? Also, sorry to hear about all of your losses.

[AnnaE]

No matter what happened, you have your feelings of loss to deal with. Please seek counseling to help you feel better. Maybe you can even devise a plan to try to find out, with the help of your counselor.

Grief therapy/group therapy would also be good.

You can improve your life, and the life of your son.

I am so sorry that you lost your sister.

I hope that you feel more comfort soon.

[jml1986]

I wish I had the words to make you feel better, but the fact is that as much as you want all the details of what happened, the more time you grieve. When any tragic event occurs, it is in our nature to get the details, but when it is the loss of your loved one, sometimes there is no way of knowing everything. I have wonder for the past 8 years if my dad really did of a heart attack or was it a stroke or something else. Because my dad had request that an atopsy to be done, we did not do it. I think that not knowing for sure will always be a road block for me. So, I do my best to just to try and not dwell on it. I choose rather to focus on the good memories.

[girldirtbiker]

I am new here. Hi Cheyenne.
I lost my only sister May 4, 2007. I am quite a bit older than you (44) and life sucks for us doesnt it!?

I completely feel where you are coming from with the unanswered questions. First off let me say that you should forget about the police report - you will never get true answers there. Honestly I could tell you stories that would make you hate police and reports but that is not why we are here....police reports say what the police "need" them to say. And how is your sister that was driving???
You have to know that if she caused the accident intentionally she is in a living hell right now.
Have you had any counseling formally? Since two weeks after my sis died I signed up for a weekly greif counseling group and have attending faithfully. Although it does not stop the pain - it helps to talk about her and keep her alive.
Can I ask you if your sister comes to you in any way in your life now? I know that sounds strange, but mine comes to me, and I know she is at peace as she was in soooooooo much pain - she had 2 brain tumors that killed her slow over a period of a year. You had no warning, for that I know it hurts. I was fortunate and wise enough in my old age to know that telling her everyday of her life how much I loved her was important. I was with her when she died, and she knew she was my life!
Be patient with your sister and your demand for the truth. Sometimes the truth does not come because we can not take it. My days are so hard but I have a family daughter and two precious grandchildren, and my sisters babies (now 3 and 7) that I must be strong for.
I am here, talk to me anytime!!!!!!!
~peace and grace!
tam