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Birth Wishes: STEP ONE: The Opening
Welcome to the Birth Wishes Series! I have broken up a typical birth plan into 8 parts with the final ninth post being for us to share our pieced-together wishes. I will be talking in depth about procedures and policies and other details that you may wish to include or not include in your own plan.
Well first thing is first! When writing your Birth Wishes you will need an opening. Many people choose to do this differently than others. Some write a tiny letter to the hospital staff, some just put their name and coach's name. Your Birth Wishes letter should be personal and read personally in every single section. If you print off a list of things from a website and just check boxes your Birth Wishes will seem impersonal and you may not have done all the research for each part. I have had nurses tell me how often a woman just checks off what sounds good and has no clue WHAT she checked off and what it means. Know what you want! This series is going to help with just that.
Okay so here is an example of an opening that I wrote when I still had an OB:
[Last name]'s Birth Wishes
Dear Nurses and Doctor,
We understand certain medical interventions should be taken in the case of emergency. Our main goal is to bring our baby into the world as safely as possible. Otherwise, in the event all is well, we hope our plan can be respected, especially in the care of baby immediately following delivery. We trust our doctors and nurses here at ________ Hospital and we look forward to working together to bring another precious life into the world!
Sincerely,
Daniel & Joy [last name]
Keep it brief, keep it simple and it always helps to come across as compliant and wanting to work together, rather than to come in with a fight to have that natural birth. Saying something like, "Respect our plan or we will walk out! Or we will sue... or we will ________!" is not going to go off well with a medical professional. Respect them and they will respect you. I have found that I can do more good with kindness than with bullying or manipulating or even throwing a fit.
You must also include your names somewhere at the top, very clearly. While they will keep your Birth Wishes in your file sometimes things can get mixed up if names aren't on there.
You will give your doctor or midwife your birth plan some time in your last trimester. A great doctor or midwife will go over the entire thing with you, point by point. They'll let you know if something seems risky for you or if all seems well. Some hospitals have policies in place and they'll discuss those with you (such as having to have Pitocin if your water breaks). Remember my post on INFORMED CONSENT; even if it is hospital policy it is NOT law and you can refuse anything (provided you and baby will be safe if you do refuse). My OB, before I switched to my midwife, barely glanced at mine. At a following appointment he had written all over my plan little notes for himself about what he didn't agree with BUT did not share that with me. He also gave me a little girl complex which made me feel unable to connect with him and share how I felt as a woman. I felt so insecure with him. RED FLAGS and I switched to my midwife. She not only took 30 minutes discussing my Birth Wishes with me but SHE had her own that she shared with me and each part had a choice (where I could choose a natural path or not).
Anyway so you'll give it to them before birth. You will also put a copy in your hospital bag (which should be in the car by around week 34-36) to give to the nurses when you arrive in labor (or for a scheduled induction or cesarean if you end up needing intervention). If you have a doctor you must remember you will see nurses for the duration of your labor and they haven't been kept up-to-date on your plan or anything! Always keep extras with you. It helps to get a copy signed and approved by your doctor so when you hand it over to the nurses upon arrival they don't have to call and bug him about every little thing.
Here are the all of the topics for your reference (note there is no section on induction as many induction techniques will be spoken about in multiple topics):
Step One: The Opening
Step Two: Labor
Step Three: Monitoring
Step Four: Drugs/Pain Relief
Step Five: Delivery
Step Six: Care of Newborn
Step Seven: Cesarean
Step Eight: Post Partum
Post Nine: Piecing it Together (sharing all our Birth Wishes in celebration!)
Write your opening and post below if you wish to share!
Well first thing is first! When writing your Birth Wishes you will need an opening. Many people choose to do this differently than others. Some write a tiny letter to the hospital staff, some just put their name and coach's name. Your Birth Wishes letter should be personal and read personally in every single section. If you print off a list of things from a website and just check boxes your Birth Wishes will seem impersonal and you may not have done all the research for each part. I have had nurses tell me how often a woman just checks off what sounds good and has no clue WHAT she checked off and what it means. Know what you want! This series is going to help with just that.
Okay so here is an example of an opening that I wrote when I still had an OB:
[Last name]'s Birth Wishes
Dear Nurses and Doctor,
We understand certain medical interventions should be taken in the case of emergency. Our main goal is to bring our baby into the world as safely as possible. Otherwise, in the event all is well, we hope our plan can be respected, especially in the care of baby immediately following delivery. We trust our doctors and nurses here at ________ Hospital and we look forward to working together to bring another precious life into the world!
Sincerely,
Daniel & Joy [last name]
Keep it brief, keep it simple and it always helps to come across as compliant and wanting to work together, rather than to come in with a fight to have that natural birth. Saying something like, "Respect our plan or we will walk out! Or we will sue... or we will ________!" is not going to go off well with a medical professional. Respect them and they will respect you. I have found that I can do more good with kindness than with bullying or manipulating or even throwing a fit.
You must also include your names somewhere at the top, very clearly. While they will keep your Birth Wishes in your file sometimes things can get mixed up if names aren't on there.
You will give your doctor or midwife your birth plan some time in your last trimester. A great doctor or midwife will go over the entire thing with you, point by point. They'll let you know if something seems risky for you or if all seems well. Some hospitals have policies in place and they'll discuss those with you (such as having to have Pitocin if your water breaks). Remember my post on INFORMED CONSENT; even if it is hospital policy it is NOT law and you can refuse anything (provided you and baby will be safe if you do refuse). My OB, before I switched to my midwife, barely glanced at mine. At a following appointment he had written all over my plan little notes for himself about what he didn't agree with BUT did not share that with me. He also gave me a little girl complex which made me feel unable to connect with him and share how I felt as a woman. I felt so insecure with him. RED FLAGS and I switched to my midwife. She not only took 30 minutes discussing my Birth Wishes with me but SHE had her own that she shared with me and each part had a choice (where I could choose a natural path or not).
Anyway so you'll give it to them before birth. You will also put a copy in your hospital bag (which should be in the car by around week 34-36) to give to the nurses when you arrive in labor (or for a scheduled induction or cesarean if you end up needing intervention). If you have a doctor you must remember you will see nurses for the duration of your labor and they haven't been kept up-to-date on your plan or anything! Always keep extras with you. It helps to get a copy signed and approved by your doctor so when you hand it over to the nurses upon arrival they don't have to call and bug him about every little thing.
Here are the all of the topics for your reference (note there is no section on induction as many induction techniques will be spoken about in multiple topics):
Step One: The Opening
Step Two: Labor
Step Three: Monitoring
Step Four: Drugs/Pain Relief
Step Five: Delivery
Step Six: Care of Newborn
Step Seven: Cesarean
Step Eight: Post Partum
Post Nine: Piecing it Together (sharing all our Birth Wishes in celebration!)
Write your opening and post below if you wish to share!
We're not pregnant now but here's what I wrote for our first:
We believe that birth should be a natural process, it is important to us that as few interventions as possible are used to bring our child into the world. We would like to be informed of procedures before they happen and be a part of the decision making. Amanda would like to be able to remain active during her labor in order to help it progress naturally. We understand that every labor and delivery is different and there is no way to anticipate what will happen. With that in mind the following birth vision outlines what our ideal birth would be like.
We believe that birth should be a natural process, it is important to us that as few interventions as possible are used to bring our child into the world. We would like to be informed of procedures before they happen and be a part of the decision making. Amanda would like to be able to remain active during her labor in order to help it progress naturally. We understand that every labor and delivery is different and there is no way to anticipate what will happen. With that in mind the following birth vision outlines what our ideal birth would be like.
I cannot remember what I wrote with my first, I think mine was pretty basic since I was going to be at a birth center. There aren't many options to begin with, but I did want my midwife in charge of everything, including who was going to be in the room when it came time to push and what I expected of her. I did have to fill something out not too long ago for my midwife, as far as who was going to be in room during the delivery, and why I want a natural birth, who will cut the cord, etc.
Joy is there someplace where i can print out a birth plan that i can then fill out? Or does this have to be something my midwife should give me to make it official?
That must be a European thing- Is the maternity record book something you bring with you to labor? If so then YES you should fill that out to take with you. I am working on post #2 and it will go up tomorrow. We'll start talking about LABOR tomorrow and preferences during it.
Ok once I have decided what to write, or well in my maternity record book there is a page that says " your preferences for labour and the birth of your baby" do I still need to write it as a letter form or fill it in on this page of my book lol :/
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