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Partner being in room
Ok first off I am NOT pregnant (nor planning on it due to my age etc). But have a question.
My boyfriend is literally my life. I have anxiety and separation anxiety linked to a sexual assault/rape from childhood. With this I have extreme fear of anything painful.
This is all assuming I cannot do a natural birth and opt for an epidural. Would he be allowed to be nearby/touching me holding me etc while the doctor gave the epidural? My anxiety gets to the point that I shake hard enough it could be mistaken for a mild seizure at times. He is literally the only one that can calm me when I get that bad.
Similar to the rape, can I go a WHOLE labour without a cervical check? I ask because I literally started thrashing and gave a doctor a black eye (accidentally) during a regular yearly pelvic. She wasn't exactly understanding about my anxiety. But am I able to ask for no cervical checks? Or can I just ask for as few as possible but will have to deal with a few?
Thanks everyone! I wish you happy healthy pregnancies and crossing my fingers for natural births for all those who want one!
My boyfriend is literally my life. I have anxiety and separation anxiety linked to a sexual assault/rape from childhood. With this I have extreme fear of anything painful.
This is all assuming I cannot do a natural birth and opt for an epidural. Would he be allowed to be nearby/touching me holding me etc while the doctor gave the epidural? My anxiety gets to the point that I shake hard enough it could be mistaken for a mild seizure at times. He is literally the only one that can calm me when I get that bad.
Similar to the rape, can I go a WHOLE labour without a cervical check? I ask because I literally started thrashing and gave a doctor a black eye (accidentally) during a regular yearly pelvic. She wasn't exactly understanding about my anxiety. But am I able to ask for no cervical checks? Or can I just ask for as few as possible but will have to deal with a few?
Thanks everyone! I wish you happy healthy pregnancies and crossing my fingers for natural births for all those who want one!
*victim of assault (not victim or assault)
First step is to find a doctor that is sensitive to your anxiety. There are MANY birth books out there that are specifically for rape/molestation victims. It is a very, very serious thing and you have the right to be respected and heard. "Birth rape" is not something we hear or acknowledge very often but it is also a very, very real thing. If someone is arrested for touching you inappropriately how is a medical professional allowed to touch you when you deny them?
So once you find that doctor or midwife who respects you as a victim or assault and you express your desire to not have cervical exams they HAVE to respect that. I know doctors are more pro-exams but I know of many midwives who will go an entire pregnancy and labor without ever checking on mom.
Also if you do get an epidural they will have to check for dilation to see how far along you are. And yes, your significant other can hold you while they put it in. You'll sit on the edge of the bed and roll your back. You can lean into your partner.
So once you find that doctor or midwife who respects you as a victim or assault and you express your desire to not have cervical exams they HAVE to respect that. I know doctors are more pro-exams but I know of many midwives who will go an entire pregnancy and labor without ever checking on mom.
Also if you do get an epidural they will have to check for dilation to see how far along you are. And yes, your significant other can hold you while they put it in. You'll sit on the edge of the bed and roll your back. You can lean into your partner.
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