Am I at Risk of HIV?

[jl1799]

Hi, I'm a gay guy. I'm 18 years old from the UK. I actually came to this website a few years back, although it was so long ago, I can't remember what advice I was given, so I'm going to re-write the experiences I faced from the ages of 12-14/15.

First, all of this was done with one guy who was also 12-14/15 in that time. But I'm not 100% convinced that I was the only one who he did these things with, as he used to say how he did have sex, and said that he had anal sex with two other boys on separate occassions. I am unsure at how frequent he had had sex with them. But then, when we were both around the age of 14, he had said that it was a lie. But then I remember when we had stopped seeing each other and we were just friends, he then said it again. So basically I am unsure as to what his HIV status would have been.

Here are some of the worries I have of things we did during the three year period.

* One time I was sitting on his lap, and I then began to feel the penis touching the lining of my bottom, but I don't think it actually went into my bottom.  What if it had though? As soon as I felt the penis even touch me, I quickly got off his lap.

* He used to suck my penis on several different occassions. I don't know how many times he sucked it but all of the times were unprotected. But what if he had HIV and he then sucks me? Also, sometimes when he sucked my penis, there was his saliva on my penis.

* There were also a few times where he came and his cum was on my clothes.

* He did also hump me while wearing clothes, but I'm sure that's not a risk. Right?

* One time he put his hand in my bottom, and I felt something that felt like sweat go into there. But what if it was cum? And is there a risk with sweat too?

* He has put his fingers/hand in my bottom several different times. What if there were any cuts or anything like that during any of the times he did that?

What has re-triggered my worries is that I have been losing weight, a lot actually. I'm not sure how much but I'm sure I've lost around 6 pounds. I'm also on vacation so I can't weigh myself so I don't know whether I'm losing any more. Furthermore, from late 2016 and throughout 2017, my stomach and bowels have been really bad, and I do have diarrhoea sometimes, but not all the time. I do suffer from anxiety, and lately my anxieties have been bad for other reasons (including my fears of having HIV) so maybe the anxiety has caused these problems? I also suffer from Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) so perhaps it's just the IBS being bad?

I'm sorry for this post being long, but a lot has happened and I never got tested because I must have trusted this website with the information I was given (I honestly cannot remember what I was told now, hence why I have written back)

Could someone knowledgeable please tell me: do I have HIV? Or am I at risk of any other STDs too?

Thank you if you can help. I want to be healthy and live my life. I really don't want to die.

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

Hi there - you were accurately advised about the only two risks you could have for HIV.  There is no need to be concerned about other events.

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[CurfewX]

As an adult, the only risks for HIV are:
1) having unprotected, penetrative vaginal or anal sex, or
2) sharing IV drug needles with other IV drug users.

You had NO RISK for HIV and you do not need to test.  Nothing you can add to any of these events will make any of them a risk for HIV.   HIV requires penetration - a penis inside of a vagina or anus, not a finger - in order to transmit the virus.

[jl1799]

Hi, thank you for replying. But I'm confused by when you say 'as an adult' - is it different for different ages?

Also, why do some sites suggest theres risk with Oral sex? Bare in mind he could actually be HIV positive too.

Also, what about the symptoms? I forgot to mention that I'm also getting a lot of spots on my back and I'm sweating at night too. Also, while I've been on vacation, when sunbathing in the sun, I'm sweating even more.

Thank you for replying. I just want to be safe.

[AnxiousNoMore]

Babies can get it from their mothers so they have an extra risk. If you reread the advice you will see that your situation is straightforward.

[CurfewX]

When answering questions here, we ALWAYS assume the other person could be HIV+.  If we assumed the other person was HIV-, then there would never be a risk.

All of your incidents have been taken into account, and you had no risk for HIV.  I don't know why you're getting spots and sweating, but it has nothing to do with HIV

[jl1799]

Okay. I just feel worried because I feel like I match a lot of the symptoms for HIV.

Also, I forgot to mention that a couple of times during when he sucked my penis, I think I did cum a few of the times we did oral sex. But I'm guessing this is okay, given HIV can only be transmitted through anal sex, in my case?