Trying, unsuccessfully, not to be concerned.

[HansrowSenoj]

Hi,

     To give a brief history, I'm a 24 yr old male. Until a month ago, I had never had sex. In fact I had never even been in a serious relationship. I guess the most important fact there is that I was a virgin. As in no sexual contact at all beyond kissing. Actually, I had some sexual contact once before with this person, but it did not go far due to my nervousness which I guess turned her off because she stopped, which I was glad for.... Anyway. The same thing was supposed to happen a month ago. We were kissing and she took me out. We were still kissing and she was rubbing me to stimulte me with her hand.... I was of course already stimulated so she was just rubbing me. She rubbed me in a way that hurt, because she kind of put her nail in my tip, so I stopped her.

     We started again after she told me it was just because it was my first time. I'm also uncircumcised if that makes a difference. Well she was on top of me and rubbing her vagina against my penis. Through most of it she was wearing her underwear, but at some point she pulled it to the side, which fully exposed her vagina and continued rubbing against me. Looking back I realize I noticed when she did it, even though it didn't really click with me at the time what she did. To cut a long story short, I slipped in. I don't know how long I was actually in for. I just know that it felt different all of a sudden and I was just hoping that what I thought happened, hadn't happened. Instead of stopping though she seemed to speed up. Honestly, I did not last very long. If it was 20 seconds it was long. I think it may have been more like ten from the time I realized to the time I orgasmed. My fear is that, because of some of the noises she was making, I was in longer than I thought I was and only realized at the end, because I was about to climax and as a result  was more sensitive. Also, not much of me was in.... It felt like she was just riding my tip.... I suppose I was right against her clitoris or something, I don't know. Honestly, it was and will probably forever be the worst sex I had, because I didn't realize it happened, didn't want it to happen and felt so horrible afterward, that I lost my virginity that way after 24 years of waiting.

     A week later, I started leaking at the penis. It also kind of burned, not only while I was urinating, but I would have little stings while I was leaking. Like something was biting the tip of my penis. It turned out to be a Urinary Tract Infection. I was given a shot and some antibiotics on a Saturday and by Monday it had pretty much stopped. Since then.... Exactly three weeks to the night, I got a sore throat. I've also had two night sweats, but I think they were due more to my stressing over what was happening to me. They were really not that serious.... except for the second night where I seemed to have chills, but even that I'm wondering if it was due to stress. I had been stressing a lot even before the incident, which is what led me to her in the first place. (I actually paid her just to spend time with me) I was kinda desperate. Anyway, the sore throat is the scariest thing because it got better, then immediately got much worse. I can still feel it now. My throat feels a bit tight and I get so short winded all of a sudden. (I'm a cyclist hoping to compete in the Olympics, so I'm not usually short winded.) Also, my family had a little flu, but I'm always excluded. I "never" get sick. I "never" feel bad. I got the perfect attendance award at Graduation in high school and only missed one day of work in four years.

     My underarms have recently started to feel funny as well. Mainly my right one. I've had some pain in it ( in my whole arm. At the elbow and in the muscle in my forearm). However, I sprained and popped this arm a number of times in highschool and it has always been bigger at the shoulder and had a lump or a larger development over my scapula in my right arm and as a result it has always felt funny. But never this noticable. Also, the taste in my throat is different. Somewhat like mucus from a cold, but sweeter. Is there any mucus when you have a sore throat from HIV?

     I've read through countelss sites that gave symptoms, but no definitive way of what they would feel like or how they might differ from normal everyday causes. Except for my usual good health I might not worry. The UTI also bothered me because I read that it is not common among young men unless there is something wrong with their immune system due to diseases like HIV. Most of the sites actually mention HIV or some other abnormality of the Urinary Tract. However, none of this has ever happened before.

     I would have loved to blame it all on my guilt over having sex and the reason why I had it or put myself in that situation and even the person who I did it with, but its just too much coincidence. I've also had other little muscle aches as well as a rash on my face and what looked to be a rash over the palm of my hand.... Really small sand like bumps. Barely noticable. I'm also worried because I know that the girl who I was with is very promiscuous. In fact three night later I had the pleasure of witnessing her giggle like a school girl while a guy stuffed his head between her legs and began kissing her vagina in the middle of a croud of people. I think that got me thinking a lot too. I had heard about her and been warned about her promiscuity and talked to her anyway because she showed interest in me and now I witnessed it first hand. She was also too eager to have sex without a condom both times I was with her, which I think is unusual for a woman.

     I plan to get tested, however, in spite of my lack of sexual history, could it be that I've exposed and possibly infected myself my first time at home base? How likely are my symptoms an indication of risk. I've had no real lymph swelling that I can conclusively tell. I think I'd be able to feel it with my hands, but I haven't been able to and its not visible anywhere either. Also, I lost my libido. I've never had sex but I do masturbate and I've not felt like doing it at all. my penis is also smaller when its flacid than it was before and I do not have as many spontaneous erections or even as many incidences of arousal as I had before. Nor am I as erect as before when it does happen. Could that just be psychological? ( Maybe thats for another forum )

[HansrowSenoj]

I wrote them off as anxiety, because I know me. However, the Urinary Tract Infection was a bit scary. My throat still feels funny. Its not really hurting, but itchy. At points it feels closed and I feel like I'm not breathing in enough air or just winded and at other times it alright. It also feels a bit scratchy and hollow sometimes. I don't know what it could be. I supposed the UTI is not a symptom, but more common in HIV infected males. I do not know how long it would take to develop UTI and no site seem to explain that beyond say that constantly postponing urinations when you have to go is a cause. And in my line of work I constantly have to do that.... I suppose you are right though and I'm just concerned because I feel like I messed up in such a way. I had to get tested this week when I applied for health insurance. This was week 4. I won't know the result or if I'm approved until next week. I will take the approval as a negative at 4 and get tested again when I go on vacation, which will be week 7. I'm praying for a negative.

Thanks.

[HansrowSenoj]

That's the thing.... I don't know how long it was in. I do know that it was very brief like I said.... The time I really noticed that I no longer felt the opposing pressure of her rubbing against me, but a sucking type feeling..... LOL... I wish I were more experienced..... I feel kinda dumb not to know the difference. I just know that only the tip of my penis was in.... Or at least I only felt it at the tip. Also, Like I said, she did something that hurt and it may have left an injury that could have exposed me. I also read that HIV can travel through even microscopic tears or openings in the skin that you may not be aware of.

[ExtremeStress]

If there was a risk or not, depends on if there was official penetration or not. If it went inside of the vagina unprotected, then there was a risk! If it was just rubbing on the outside and on the clitoris, there was not a risk!

[Teak]

You were never at risk for HIV.

[Ausguy]

Im no expert on anything to do with HIV. But from reading your post you seem to discount a lot of the symptoms as not being caused by HIV anyway. Regardless, alot of them dont seem indicative of HIV anyway as far as I know. Also, no symtpoms are reliable indicators of HIV, so just forget about all of them. Go and get a test. Even though your sex was unprotected the odds of you contracting HIV from this single exposure are as high as 1/2000. I dont know when this exposure happened, but a test at 6 weeks will relieve your anxiety, and then you can test at 12 weeks for a conclusive result.

Good luck.