In reading your post, I have good news for you. You had zero risk for HIV. Protected intercourse is no risk and touching vaginal fluid, having vaginal fluid from a hand to the penis and a hand job in general are also NO risk for HIV transmission. You didn't need to test the first time or the other two times either. HIV is inactivated by air. The only ways adults get HIV is from having unprotected vaginal or anal sex or sharing IV drug needles. So, no risk.