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HIV fear (extreme anxiety)
Anyone who could help me with this question would be an angel. I am 18 and currently losing my mind about an encounter I had on the 21st of September.
I took a boy back to my university room after a night out (meaning we were both heavily intoxicated) and we attempted to have sex. Because his penis was large and I'd only lost my virginity to a medium-sized boy a few months prior, we were unable to have penetrative sex. It is important to note thought that the head of his penis did touch my entrance for about 10 seconds without a condom and I have no idea if he had an pre-ejaculate there that might have gotten inside. But that's not even the problem.
I performed oral on him for quite a while during the night, though he never ejaculated in my mouth. How likely is it that I would've caught HIV from this act alone?
And the main thing I'm worried about is the fingering. Because his penis wouldn't fit, he tried to finger me as an alternative but he did it too roughly. At the time it didn't hurt, but when I woke up the bed/sheets/mattress was flooded with blood and blood appeared when I wiped down there for about three days. I never peed blood, there were just spots on the tissue/panties. I'm assuming that because he fingered me too roughly he irritated/cut some tissue inside my vagina with his nails/fingers. If he was HIV positive and had fresh cuts on his fingers, how likely is HIV transmission between those cuts on his fingers and the cuts inside my vagina where I was bleeding from whilst he was fingering me?
I am so scared and have been crying about this encounter for days, please tell me all you know about my likelihood of infection from the oral/fingering and whether I need to get tested for hiv based upon what happened that night.
Thank you to whoever answers, I really appreciate it.
I took a boy back to my university room after a night out (meaning we were both heavily intoxicated) and we attempted to have sex. Because his penis was large and I'd only lost my virginity to a medium-sized boy a few months prior, we were unable to have penetrative sex. It is important to note thought that the head of his penis did touch my entrance for about 10 seconds without a condom and I have no idea if he had an pre-ejaculate there that might have gotten inside. But that's not even the problem.
I performed oral on him for quite a while during the night, though he never ejaculated in my mouth. How likely is it that I would've caught HIV from this act alone?
And the main thing I'm worried about is the fingering. Because his penis wouldn't fit, he tried to finger me as an alternative but he did it too roughly. At the time it didn't hurt, but when I woke up the bed/sheets/mattress was flooded with blood and blood appeared when I wiped down there for about three days. I never peed blood, there were just spots on the tissue/panties. I'm assuming that because he fingered me too roughly he irritated/cut some tissue inside my vagina with his nails/fingers. If he was HIV positive and had fresh cuts on his fingers, how likely is HIV transmission between those cuts on his fingers and the cuts inside my vagina where I was bleeding from whilst he was fingering me?
I am so scared and have been crying about this encounter for days, please tell me all you know about my likelihood of infection from the oral/fingering and whether I need to get tested for hiv based upon what happened that night.
Thank you to whoever answers, I really appreciate it.
Best Answer
I agree with Vance. Oral sex without ejaculation is zero risk (even with ejaculation it is extremely unlikely). And with respect to the fingering, the cuts on his fingers would need to be oozing blood for there to be any risk. Do you even have any reason to believe that he in fact did have open wounds on his fingers? Being a male, if I had open wounds on my fingers, I wouldn't use those fingers to vigorously finger a girl. (For no other reason then that it would hurt) Chance of any exposure seems extremely unlikely.
Expectedly, my results were negative. Thanks to all who calmed my fears, even when you knew they were irrational in the first place, I really appreciated it.
Im assuming you are British from your first post? If so, ive sent you a message of a service that can help if you have have fears :)
Thanks so much for replying! I felt so much better after reading that. I think a lot of this fear is stemming from the fact that I had an unprinted encounter recently that made me have an epic freakout and I told myself I'd never put myself in that situation again (after I tested negative with a DUO). It's guilt and shame that's got me hear, for not doing what I told myself I needed to do. Sure, protection was used, but not properly and etc, my mind goes on and on.
The information you provided was very helpful, and it helped me to put my rational mind at the centre not my crazy "what if?" thoughts. I'll definitely be back with my (hopefully, very likely) negative results.
Thanks again.
The information you provided was very helpful, and it helped me to put my rational mind at the centre not my crazy "what if?" thoughts. I'll definitely be back with my (hopefully, very likely) negative results.
Thanks again.
You have no reason to worry. Unfortunaly anxiety, fear and stress show all the same symptoms (although you have not mentioned if you have any?). I did about 4 or 5 tests at least for the 3 months. Of course all came back negtive which put my mind at ease and suddenly ther symptoms went.
Let me see if I can calm you down abit.
So you did oral to begin with and he didn't come? Zero % risk. If he did ejaculate then the % would be less than what im about to tell you below...
You dont know if he was HIV+. Chances are he is not so there is NO worry there.
Even if he was (here are the stats...) the risk is so low. Two studies have been done. the first one in 2009 suggests that if you have sex with a guy and he finishes inside of you, you have have 0.08% chance of getting HV+ (Assuming he is HIV+ of course). That makes it 1 in 1250 chance of getting it.
A later study was done that lowered the risk down to 0.04%, which is 1 in 2500 chance.
you need to rememeber that HIV is a very sensitive virus and the living conditions need to be 100% perfect for it to survive.
In regards to hin fingering you, as far as I am aware there are no reported cases of infection this way and the % is les than oral.
Hope this helps.
Let me see if I can calm you down abit.
So you did oral to begin with and he didn't come? Zero % risk. If he did ejaculate then the % would be less than what im about to tell you below...
You dont know if he was HIV+. Chances are he is not so there is NO worry there.
Even if he was (here are the stats...) the risk is so low. Two studies have been done. the first one in 2009 suggests that if you have sex with a guy and he finishes inside of you, you have have 0.08% chance of getting HV+ (Assuming he is HIV+ of course). That makes it 1 in 1250 chance of getting it.
A later study was done that lowered the risk down to 0.04%, which is 1 in 2500 chance.
you need to rememeber that HIV is a very sensitive virus and the living conditions need to be 100% perfect for it to survive.
In regards to hin fingering you, as far as I am aware there are no reported cases of infection this way and the % is les than oral.
Hope this helps.
And I forgot to ask, what if he had precome on his fingers? Since I had obvious tearing inside when he fingered me, does that not pose a risk for infection? Please help, I'm losing it!
I'm going to get tested on Tuesday and I am so anxious, could someone please reassure me (with stats, past examples, anything) because I'm so lost. I feel like I've ruined my life. I don't know how I will cope if the test comes back positive. I need support, please.
I'm trying to here you but I think my anxiety is getting the best of me. If I were to get tested for this incident and any that may occur afterwards, is a DUO test conclusive at 28 days? There seems to be a lot of confusion around this matter.
I can't let it leave my brain, I'm still really worried. I've read a lot of stuff online from pretty credible sites saying oral sex does pose a significant risk. Even though he didn't ejaculate in my mouth, I had dental work done a few days earlier (scaling) which left my gums significantly exposed, I have no clue how I could've forgotten that. Couldn't the pre-cum have entered my bloodstream through my open gum lines? I'm really worried, please someone help me.
Thanks for the info! I didn't know that his imaginary cuts that I just assumed he had because I'm great at making everything a catastrophe would have to be dripping with blood to create a risk of infection. I don't remember seeing anything suspicious on his hands at all, but it was dark. I'm just freaking out. Also, I talked to a friend who said that him being white, british-born and 21 makes him extremely unlikely to even have HIV, so that did calm me down for a bit. I won't test for HIV then, I'm now confident that it couldn't have possibly happened.
Even with the possibility of blood to blood contact through my obvious cuts (which hurt for several days possible) and his possible cuts? Are you 100% sure that I don't need to test for HIV then? Also, thanks for responding.
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