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What is my risk level?
Unfortunately, I was in Tijuana 12 days ago and I ended up having brief intercourse with a young woman in the red light district. She was a young, healthy looking woman, but she was indeed a working girl. Surprisingly shy for a working girl actually. I've been HSV2 positive for 10 years and don't have sex often. Only once in the last 10 years in fact. I wouldn't want to put that young lady in any danger and I hope she would do the same for me. Anyway, I had so much to drink that night, that I couldn't maintain an erection for more than a minute or two. We had great chemistry, and she seemed a little self conscious about the fact that I wasn't aroused, so she asked me if the condom was the problem? I was so intoxicated that I thought to myself "Yeah, this condom is clearly the problem!" I pulled it off and she got me aroused again. We ended up having sex for another minute or two before I realized it was just a bad idea. As soon as I went limp, she asked me what the problem was? I simply made a drinking gesture to let her know that I had too much. We ended up playfully giving each other back rubs and we made out passionately for some time. We seemed to have great chemistry. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when I woke up the following morning, I freaked out having realized what I had done. I only spent a few energetic moments inside of her, but I've been worried sick, literally. I freaked out for 5 days straight and then found a throat ulcer. I had just returned home to VA after my trip and was sleeping next to an AC vent, so my throat was dry and sore as well. I also noticed that I was having what looked like a small HSV1 outbreak on my lips. A small outbreak, but it was there. The sore throat went away by day 8, the ulcer disappeared on day 10 and the HSV1 outbreak on my lips was pretty much gone by day 11. I've been having minor overwhelming freak out moments where the gravity of my decision comes crashing down. I think I've been grinding my teeth while I sleep this past week due to the stress, as both temporalis muscles are sore. I thought I was having the occasional passing headache, but I realized it was the sore muscles on both sides of my head that were making it "feel" as though it was a headache. I could probably blame all of my symptoms on the amount of stress I've caused myself from thinking about it so damn much, but I have to accept the fact that I may have exposed my self to HIV. I can deal with a cycle of antibiotics for an infection, but I don't know that I have it in me to deal with HIV after 10 years of living alone with HSV2. I plan on getting tested for all STDs at the 4 week mark and again at the 12 week mark. I'm literally praying for a bacterial infection as a reasonable punishment! I used the restroom right after we were done, so I can't help but wonder if the urine would help to flush out the virus or render it inactive due to the acidity? I even sprayed my penis and testicles with bleach later that night in attempt to kill whatever might be present. I've read on this site that only 1 in like 2000 exposures with a positive person results in infection. Supposedly, that's how spouses remain virus free even after numerous years with their infected partner. We only had sex for a few minutes. How concerned should I be?
Thank you baby Jesus! I just got my results back and it looks like that young lady didn't give me anything at all. I'm shocked, relieved and elated all at the same time. On day 32, I did a 10 panel test that included the HIV duo and it was all negative. I've been under a great deal of stress for 37 days straight and I'm ready to finally get a good nights rest. I'm going to test for syphilis again at the 8 week mark to make sure the infection wasn't a late bloomer and I may go ahead and take another duo test at that time to remove any and all doubt. I know you guys are going to tell me it's not necessary, but I'm happy to spend the money in the name of closure. I just wanted to thank everyone on here for being informative and supportive. My heart goes out to anyone who tests positive for HIV. I can't emphasize enough just how grateful I am to see my test come up negative.
2 Comments
It is abnormal to take another HIV test, and will indicate a phobia. You don't test for E Coli after every meal or image for cancer daily which represent real diseases that can kill you so why would you test when you are neg for HIV? See a therapist instead of wasting months in terror about nothing.
I read that the duo test at 4 weeks is about 96% accurate, but that the same test at 6+ weeks is considered 100% accurate. Could I have read some dated material? Is the duo test now 100% accurate at 4 weeks? If it's not, then I want to make 100% sure the risk has passed. If you tell me that the duo test is now 100% accurate at 4 weeks, I can accept that. But, if it's not, then I want to be absolutely sure so that I can relax. I'm not one of those people that will keep coming back to this as the moths pass. My desire to retest is based on my understanding of the accuracy of the test at the 4 week mark. Most would admit that 96% is damn good, and very reassuring, but it's not 100%. Considering the limited/low risk exposure I had, along with the negative 4 week test, I understand that the odds of showing a positive test result at 8 weeks would be astronomically low. That being said, if there's even statistically insignificant chance that I may still be positive, I want to rule that out. If I had waited until the 6+ week mark before performing the test, and it came up negative, I would absolutely accept the results and move on. That's not how it played out and I'm just looking for closure. I can't thank you enough for chiming in and providing insight. You're presence on this site is greatly appreciated!
like anxious no more said, this is a truly epic story!
You're overthinking this scenario way too much and thats going to make the whole waiting process take much longer. Try to remain calm and remember that everything is in your favor. I'll explain why.
Bottom line is this; you had a BRIEF 1-2 minute vaginal exposure to a sex worker. You dont know her status and its highly unlikely that she's HIV+ the per-act sexual risk of infection, as you've read, is around one in a thousand or two thousand. combine this with the very low prevalence of HIV among industrialized sex workers, and the fact that the exposure was so breif, your risk is now in the hundreds of thousands-if-not-millions of contracting HIV.
I was in a place similar to yours so I know the reflection and resulting GUILT are present and difficult to deal with. Again, everything is in your favor and its great to hear you're aware of the risks involved with inebriation. Bottom line don't have sex with someone you don't know the status of.
Test at 4 weeks with a combination test and put this to rest. In the meantime carry on with your life because you're seriously going to be fine. If you were to go to an STI clinic and ask for PEP medication following an exposure like yours, most would NOT prescribe it because the risk is so minimal.
As a side note, if women are willing to accept the risks of your latent-stage HSV2 infection taking the proper steps to avoid infection can allow for you to grow meaningful relationships without passing it on to others. I appreciate your considerations of others health, and wish you the best.
C.M.
You're overthinking this scenario way too much and thats going to make the whole waiting process take much longer. Try to remain calm and remember that everything is in your favor. I'll explain why.
Bottom line is this; you had a BRIEF 1-2 minute vaginal exposure to a sex worker. You dont know her status and its highly unlikely that she's HIV+ the per-act sexual risk of infection, as you've read, is around one in a thousand or two thousand. combine this with the very low prevalence of HIV among industrialized sex workers, and the fact that the exposure was so breif, your risk is now in the hundreds of thousands-if-not-millions of contracting HIV.
I was in a place similar to yours so I know the reflection and resulting GUILT are present and difficult to deal with. Again, everything is in your favor and its great to hear you're aware of the risks involved with inebriation. Bottom line don't have sex with someone you don't know the status of.
Test at 4 weeks with a combination test and put this to rest. In the meantime carry on with your life because you're seriously going to be fine. If you were to go to an STI clinic and ask for PEP medication following an exposure like yours, most would NOT prescribe it because the risk is so minimal.
As a side note, if women are willing to accept the risks of your latent-stage HSV2 infection taking the proper steps to avoid infection can allow for you to grow meaningful relationships without passing it on to others. I appreciate your considerations of others health, and wish you the best.
C.M.
2 Comments
Thanks for responding! I really do appreciate the words of encouragement. I want to say you're probably right, but there's that part of me that feels like I need to be emotionally braced for the bad news. I keep thinking about the fact that I have HSV2 and how it can increase your susceptibility to HIV. I checked myself thoroughly and found no irritated skin or signs of an outbreak, so I don't think the HIV would have had an easy way in. I haven't had an outbreak in months, nor have I had one since I returned from my trip. Outside of the anxiety, I feel fine. If anything, I have a well spring of energy due to the anxiety. I'm throwing weights around in the gym like an animal! Unfortunately, the anxiety has my blood pressure up and I sometimes feel like I'm having a minor aneurysm. Smoking a little pot and having some green tea helps to relieve that though. My fingers will remain crossed and I will be sure to post the results of my tests when the time comes. If it comes back clean, it's going to be like a new lease on life!
And you're right about my HSV2. At this point, I feel like I can adequately protect someone and have a relationship. During the early years, I felt toxic. I couldn't bring myself to do to anyone what had been done to me. I'm no saint, but I felt like it was my responsibility to do so. My burden to bear, if you will. There's a young lady that has been a good friend for several years now and she's been showing more interest in me. If I get through this experience unscathed, I'm going to start spending more time with her. She's a real sweet heart. Thinking of her makes me feel even more foolish for having done what I did. I was disciplined for 10 years and had one moment of weakness when I was drunk. I'm hoping my sacrifices have earned me a free pass from the universe. I've certainly learned my lesson and want to have someone in my life. Thanks again for the words of encouragement.
The honest truth was that I only took her upstairs to appease my friends. They were giving me a hard time, so I thought to myself "I know what I'll do. I'll take her upstairs, pay her for her time and not have sex with her. Who would ever know?" I even explained that to her when we got up there. I handed her the money and said "No sex. It's okay" She seemed confused and asked if I had a boyfriend. Slightly offended, I assured her that wasn't the case. Unfortunately, the last few drinks caught up with me and she successfully coaxed me out of my shell. She already had my money, and she knew that she didn't have to have sex with me, but she wanted to. That damn chemistry. I like to believe that she wouldn't have had unprotected sex with me if she knew she was HIV positive, but what if she didn't know? I read an article online stating that less than 50% of the working girls in Tijuana have ever been tested. She seemed too sharp to be that reckless, but it could have been the glasses she was wearing. People always look smarter in glasses. Especially when you're drunk. The librarian look gets me every time. Damnit. My intention was to give this sweet local girl some easy money and let her enjoy an evening without having to have sex. I ended up having unprotected sex instead. What the hell? At 37 years old, I just can't believe I let it happen. I feel ill every time I reflect on the evening and I can't stop thinking about it. I feel like I'm going to have a stroke.
I can't help but reflect on the things that could be working for, and against me, in this particular situation. On the one hand, I only had a minute or so of unprotected sex before my **** was sensible enough to throw in the towel. I'm confident that the limited exposure worked in my favor. On the other hand, she was a petite young latina, and I'm kind of well endowed, so it was a snug fit. I'm worried that may have worked against me, but perhaps a tighter fit means she hasn't seen too many miles of **** yet? I used the restroom right after we had sex, and then we both jumped in the shower and scrubbed well, so I'm hoping that worked in my favor. On the other hand, I've read that having HSV2 increases your susceptibility to HIV due to the changes in the skin where the virus continues to reappear. I'd like to believe my odds are pretty good in this situation, but after my experience with HSV2, I don't feel like the luckiest individual. I'm just so disappointed in myself. I can't believe I let this happen.
Since you had unprotected sex, you should test at 28 days with the 4th generation Duo test for an accurate result. A one time exposure is low risk. I wouldn't worry too much but think you are on the right track with not getting drunk and being careless like this.
2 Comments
by the way, why would hsv 1 cause you not to date? Over 80 percent of the population has this simple virus and got it as a child. Not really a big deal. And shouldn't prevent you from having a normal life.
Thanks for the reply. I'm still worrying myself sick over this. It's not the HSV1 that has kept me from dating, its the HSV2. Everyone's experience is different, but I had horrible outbreaks that were damn near constant for several years. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, so there was no way I could ask someone I cared about to take the risk. I've been very disciplined and have turned down numerous women over the years who were "okay" with the idea of it. They just didn't understand what they were getting themselves into. I'm at the point now where my outbreaks are few and far between and I'm willing to date someone, even if sex isn't involved. Just tired of being lonely, ya know.
That is an epic story. I think the summary is you had unprotected vaginal for a minute - is this the risk you are concerned about? If so just take a duo after 4 weeks for a conclusive result. Try to relax until then because symptoms can't be useful to diagnose, so nothing is pointing toward you having HIV. HIV doctors can't diagnose from symptoms so neither of us can either.
2 Comments
I appreciate you responding so quickly! I'm feeling better after reading a lot of the posts on this site, but part of me won't let myself relax. I'm hoping for the best and bracing for the worst. Not knowing is killing me, but these are the hard lessons we learn in life. After many years, I can say with absolute certainty that the worst decisions I've ever made were under the influence of alcohol. New rule... A drink or two with a meal as a connoisseur, and that's it. I think what did me in was 10 years of loneliness and a young lady who was genuinely attracted to me. It had been so long and it felt so good to be on the receiving end of someone's attention and affection. I just fell right into it. The biggest lesson for me here is that there's more to life than sex. If I make it out of this unscathed, I'm going to find a little lady that I can spend my life with.
Hey AnxiousNoMore, what have you learned regarding risk levels for exposures like mine? I mentioned the 1 in 2000 stat above, but I was hoping you might be able to offer some comforting information. I don't want to be lied to, but maybe some info about how its more difficult to contract HIV than people think? Got any uplifting, confidence inspiring info?
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