Should I not have unprotected sex?

[Sostupid20182]

After my oral incident I was advised on here it was no risk and to move on. Sadly I can’t just do that because anxiety will not allow for it.

I stupidly had unprotected sex with my girlfriend after 1 week of my unknown oral exposure. Should I advise her of PEP or just continue acting like nothing is wrong. I’m very nervous and just need someone to help me through this. 3 weeks - 3 months of waiting is going to drive me insane

[Kirstie_MHModerator]

We are sorry that you are suffering so much, but as noted, we can't offer anxiety counseling in our HIV Prevention forum that will help you accept that you didn't have a risk for HIV.  We wish you the best, but we are closing this thread.

********* THREAD CLOSED ********

[CurfewX]

Please seek professional counseling to help you overcome this irrational fear.  You didn't "stupidly" have sex with your girlfriend.  You don't have HIV so you can't infect her.  She shouldn't get PEP because you can't infect her, since you don't have HIV.  

We can't assist with your anxiety, and we can't hold your hand until you put it past you or get your negative test results.  We can only give you medical facts.  You had no risk for HIV.

[Sostupid20182]

Thank you. I’m sorry my anxiety fuels these ideas and concerns. I’m sorry I am so bothersome. I’m more so concerned for her safety now because again I have myself convinced for the worse. I could go on and ask about the “theoretical risk” however it will only be dismissed and “isn’t up for debate”.

I would love to talk to anyone in person, however they only further my fears because my doctor (who is very old) is ADAMENT oral sex is absolutely risky, and even the HIV clinic here in town tells me that although less risky then anal/vaginal that there is absolutely a risk involved and that I should wait for my 3 month test. The only way I can do that at this point would be to be heavily medicated. I’m sorry. Thanks for all your help

[CurfewX]

Using your own math, which I'm not acknowledging is even correct, this makes oral sex 99.9% safe.  Crossing a manufactured bridge is less safe than that, but do you spend nights awake worrying that you might cross over a bridge tomorrow?  There's a greater risk of being trampled by a rhinoceros or being killed or permanently injured by a golf ball.  

There are a multitude of activities that you engage in every day that are way more of a risk to your life and health than oral sex.

Your fixation on an event that doesn't represent a legitimate risk does merit professional therapy.

[Sostupid20182]

Alright. Thank you. Which math would that have been?

Sadly the resources are not in my area. My doctor is terribly old and literally dismisses me, and at one point told me if I continued to be a hypochondriac he wouldn’t even be willing to see me anymore! Crazy right? I asked him before about who I can talk to for support and he completely dismissed me and there currently isnt any other doctors I can see other him

[AnxiousNoMore]

You should take the doctor's comment that you are a hypochondriac and seek therapy because you are constantly suffering mental anguish. You can find a therapist on your own without your doctor's help.

[Sostupid20182]

Sadly without his referral I can not afford therapy. That is why I already went to him. Without a referral I would have to pay for any time there. Also, I’m not even sure if there is any close to me (3+ hour drive each way) I am in a part of Canada that is suffering from an extreme doctor shortage and health care crisis.