Good news - the sexologist was WAY off. The odds of contracting HIV from a handjob are ZERO percent. No one has ever contracted HIV from a handjob. A hand cannot transmit HIV to anyone - only a penis or vagina can do that.
Sexually, HIV transmission only happens inside the body, when a penis is inside a vagina or anus unprotected. There is no other sexual event that you can think of that will put you at risk for HIV. I don't know what's causing your symptoms, but it's not HIV as you had no risk at all.