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Scared due to HIV risk incurred by multiple failures
Found out my boyfriend was cheating on me and lied to me about us being monogamous so now worried he might have lied to me about his health as well and what it could mean about my risk factors. I knew he was immunodeficient and had been on ART to improve his cd4 count for years having gotten back up to 1200 but he repeatedly claimed doctors did not know the cause of his condition and it wasn't AIDS. Idiopathic is a real thing though extremely rare and I know he had had multiple heart attacks and a stroke before age 30 being raised in severe malnutrition and having recovered from a deadly bout of sepsis in his twenties so I believed the cause could be more complicated and never specifically asked for proof that it wasn't HIV as I should have. He took me to his doctor's office that is known for treating HIV once which was bold if he wasn't telling the truth so I'm not sure if he had it or not but I do know he was promiscuous in his youth and just found out that hadn't changed as much as he said it had. The doc we saw that day was not his regular one as it was an emergency visit to rule out any sort of flu which all the tests came back negative even though he had been feeling slightly sick for weeks and started getting a rash on his knees which did clear up after he was prescribed antibiotics just in case.
During our rocky 6 month relationship we only had sex a few times and always with a condom but his doctors office failed to properly submit his paperwork and he was without his ART medicine for about a month and a half where his cd4 fell 25% and during that time we had the condom completely come off inside me. He had been getting very aggressive when it happened and proceeded to accidentally slip about halfway in the wrong hole which was unpleasant for a second before we stopped the encounter completely. He did not cum inside me as we both freaked out about everything that went wrong. I did not suspect he even had HIV at that point since he gets tested for infections every 3 months due to his poor health so I did not go get help afterward as I was able to retrieve the missing condom. I did not get pregnant which was my main concern but now two months on it occurs to me if he was in fact HIV positive the whole time and I was just a sucker I may be in serious trouble. About a month after this event we broke up permanently but I was so distraught after numerous other life issues came up between us that I felt under the weather for a couple days and my lymph nodes in my neck were swollen which never happens. I know I need to get tested after 3 months but I am terrified he gave me a lifelong condition and it will be another month at least before then to find out my fate for sure. The fear is ruining my sanity. How likely is it that I may have contracted the virus?
During our rocky 6 month relationship we only had sex a few times and always with a condom but his doctors office failed to properly submit his paperwork and he was without his ART medicine for about a month and a half where his cd4 fell 25% and during that time we had the condom completely come off inside me. He had been getting very aggressive when it happened and proceeded to accidentally slip about halfway in the wrong hole which was unpleasant for a second before we stopped the encounter completely. He did not cum inside me as we both freaked out about everything that went wrong. I did not suspect he even had HIV at that point since he gets tested for infections every 3 months due to his poor health so I did not go get help afterward as I was able to retrieve the missing condom. I did not get pregnant which was my main concern but now two months on it occurs to me if he was in fact HIV positive the whole time and I was just a sucker I may be in serious trouble. About a month after this event we broke up permanently but I was so distraught after numerous other life issues came up between us that I felt under the weather for a couple days and my lymph nodes in my neck were swollen which never happens. I know I need to get tested after 3 months but I am terrified he gave me a lifelong condition and it will be another month at least before then to find out my fate for sure. The fear is ruining my sanity. How likely is it that I may have contracted the virus?
You can't get hiv if you use a condom, so you had no risk. I'm not going to read all of that epic story, but skimmed some of it. There is nothing to test for. You don't have medical training so shouldn't be poking your lymph and irritating it.
2 Comments
I see he penetrated you once, so that's a risk. A duo test 4 weeks taken after that date will be conclusive, so it's best to just test now then you will know your status. You don't get hiv every time you have sex with an hiv pos. person, so try not to worry while you wait.
In case I was unclear, a duo test is conclusive after 4 weeks, so you can test now and not have to think about this anymore.
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