Our members have expressed to you that you had no risk for HIV.
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No risk implies no exposure. Therefore, your fears are not logical. Please see a therapist for your anxiety. This forum is specific to HIV prevention and you don't seem to have a concern relevant to this forum.
Using a condom correctly means not using oil based lubrication along with it, refrain from using multiple condom at once, ensuring to evacuate the air from the tip by pressing it and avoid using them when the penis is flaccid.
As suggested, you were never at risk, you don't need to test or worry about the virus. It's time for you to move on.
As it has already been said, the only risks for HIV are unprotected vaginal or anal sex or sharing IV drug needles. So, you didn't have a risk.
Oral sex does not cause HIV. Using a condom prevents the spread of HIV, which is why they call it "safe sex". You had no risk from what you've described therefore, HIV is not your problem. You most likely picked up a garden variety virus which is very common, so just rest and drink a lot of fluids and you'll be fine.
Your HIV test was negative because you were never exposed to HIV. Index values are not required for reporting results so it's irrelevant.