Possible exposure and some ARS symptoms at 12 days

[Alex19821982]

Dears,
I am a male, circumsised, I had an encounter with sex  worker in the middle east, unprotected blow job with no visible blood on my penis and protected vaginal sex where the condoms remained intact till the end, also I touched her anus without inserting my finger, also she gave me a hand job while putting some lubricant  after removing the condom, trying for second round which it did not work. After 12 days of the encounter (2 days Back from now) I start by having very mild stuffy nose and joint pain , mild sore throat and generally feeling unwell, no appetite but no  fever or rash or other respiratory symptoms , from what I read it can be ARS.
1- I am extra anxious, and i browsed a lot about the subject, however since I do not want to harm my wife ( i am away from her since the encounter), can u please tell me my risk and the need for testing and when I can resume unprotected sex with my wife?
2- is there any risk from the  hand job in case she had  any infected fluid on her hand? Or from me touching her anus and then touching my penis trying for second arousal?

Thanks in advance,

[CurfewX]

The only risks for HIV in adults are:
1) Having unprotected anal or vaginal sex, or
2) sharing intravenous needles with IV drug users.

You cannot get HIV from hands - not your hands, not anybody else's hands - EVEN IF there is blood or fluid on the hands/fingers.

If you do not engage in any of the activities I mentioned above with someone HIV+ or whose HIV status is unknown to you, you will NEVER have to worry about getting HIV. There is no information you could add about this event that would make it a risk for HIV.

[Alex19821982]

Thanks for the reply, it eases my mind a bit, my last negative test for hiv was on August 2023 when I donated blood.  Despite having some Typical ARS symptoms at the correct timing ( joint pain, feeling unwell, mild sore throat, no appetite, still ongoing), do you believe that no need for HIV testing after this episode?
Please reply, my concern is mainly my wife, I do not to put her on any risk.
Thanks in advance

[CurfewX]

My answer will not change.

The risks for HIV are well-known and well-documented, and you did not have any risk.

[Alex19821982]

Dear, almost everywhere in Internet even CDC tell that is possible to get HIV  from oral sex, while they are saying it is  very low risk which is  far-away from zero risk,  sorry I am stating this because I am really worried and I am still experiencing symptoms and  suffering from sever insomnia for the 3rd day ( unable to sleep at all only  2 hours ) which is linked to hiv as well. Unfortunately I am convinced that I catch it from this episode
My last question and plz do not be upset,  what are the basis for your statement that no risk from oral even if the one giving the fellatio is not in treatment or has high viral load?

[CurfewX]

NOBODY has ever been infected by receiving oral sex. You will not be the first.

[Alex19821982]

Dear, since my symptoms are continuing in addition to fast heart beat and loosing weight, decreased libido, unfortunately I do not have access to PCR  testing or infectious disease specialist (i am in a remote area and poor settings with regards to hiv). In case it is ARS symtoms ( i am assuming highly likely), and knowing that in this stage the viral load is astronomically high, is there any risk to infect the Kids 6 & 3 years old from normal kissing or living together? I joined them today since I came back from travel, regarding my wife i will avoid for sure, my problem that I am not seeing any explanation for all what I am feeling except HIV. Believe me I do not want to be the exception, but maybe genetically I am more prone to catch the hiv even from receiving oral. Please help.

[AnxiousNoMore]

You have no ARS symptoms because you had no risk for hiv. No one got hiv from oral in 40 years, but that doesn't stop the CDC from stating there is a theoretical risk. No one got hiv from oral in the 40 years of hiv history, and no one will get hiv from oral in the next 40 years of your life either. Sex workers know this, which is why they don't require a condom for oral.
Your symptoms like libido and sleep problems are just in your imagination from fear. Anyone can get a stuffy nose. You are making your life miserable living in fear, however some day you will forget about this and go back to your normal life.  
No hiv researcher ever thought a person could get hiv from kissing, so you really know nothing about hiv transmission when you worry that people get it from kissing. You should realize that everyone kisses but you don't know anyone who got hiv from a kiss, plus you have never read of kids or anyone else getting an hiv infection from a kiss - therefore your fears are unrealistic to the point of being silly.

[AnxiousNoMore]

The worst thing you can do is tell your wife about these silly thoughts, because she might also develop an hiv phobia - plus she will be hurt when you tell her what you did. Seek therapy for hiv fixation because your fear makes you think you are some genetic mutant who catches hiv in a way that no one else on the planet did.

[Alex19821982]

Currently and beside the other persisting symptoms ( the fast heartbeat is more noticed measured around 95 bpm , in addition to some light nightsweats, wednesday i will go back to Italy to get some help. I hope what you are saying is correct, however I fully understand how to say no risk from insertive oral and most of the time get it right due to the probability  game, yes it is highly unlikely  but not impossible, I hope I was able to get the POP which is was in my mind. I am sure the CSW was + due to the way she answered me when I asked her about her status, when  my symptoms started , now unprotected insertive oral with likely hiv + in addition to typical ARS symtoms at the correct timing , unfortunately the odds are not in my favor at all,
I am reading old posts of Dr. Hook and Handsfield where they talked about minimal risk which is not identical to zero risk, please help

[GuitarRox]

We already painstakingly answered you. We can't keep this up. You need to address your anxiety. This is not an hiv question anymore (been answered that you had no actual risk. They say theoretical risk which is not real risk and to date, NO ONE Has gotten hiv from what you describe. Period. You aren't going to be the first.). Please talk to your doctor to get better help with your anxiety as the disorder you need to focus on.

[Sara_MHModerator]

Please refer to the answers you have already been given.

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