Test conclusif? I just want my life back and stop to live in fear :(

[horizon77]

I often looked at posts and as I must admit I can't handle my fears at the monent, I would like to kindly ask for your advise too:

- I had oral sex (active) with another male. As far as I can say, I did not get any sperm in my mouth, but it was dark so I cannot exclude it 100%. For sure he did not ejaculate in my mouth.
- In the same situation, a few minutes before, I whipped off some  fluid, most likely sperm, for sure no blood, frim a wall in a cabin. The fluid must have been there for at least two minutes. Then I put the tissue in my pocket, and -don't ask me why- another five or six minutes cleaned my penus with it.

I consulted the German Aids-Hilfe (german aids consultance/helpline) three timesand they assured me there was low to no risk, as oralsex without ejaculation is not a serious risk and the possible hiv in the sperm would have become inactive after just a few minutes and there is no such transmission like "from wall-to tissue-to penis" after such a "long" time.

As I am extremely scared of diseases (i know these scars concerning ny health for years and will seek for help by an psychatrist) I nearly went mad after that. I could not handle the guilt and so I told my wife about it, we found a very good way to treat with it, as she behaved so great.
I made the mistake to google all possible symptoms and got mire scared every day as I had a burning mouth, sore throat and really "searched" for possible symptoms.

I got a PCR RNA after 21 days, that came back negative.
Then I had an HIV Duo antigen/antibody test after seven weeks, also negative.
After that I was so glad and succeded in relaxing fir a few days, but then I found some pimbke (is that word right) in my mouth which is kind of swollen and has a white puncture. My doctor told me thus would have for sure nothing to do with a hiv infection- but the old scars were back. Since two days I also have some diarrhea. I know that the most probable reason for this is my Psyche, but especially the pimble drives me nad and my life is full of anxiety.
All I want is go on with my life and especially my beautiful wife, who is the greatest person on the planet. I think I have never been so sure of that.

My questions are:
- In Germany you often hear about the "three month" rule, but even the consultants at the hiv helpdedk where I made the duo test told me, that due to actual knowledge the duo test is connsidered safe after 6 weeks and I can for sure forget about HIV. Can you confirm this, can I really go on with my life?

- The Duo test often is said to be 99, 89% conclusif. Can I say, that my numbers are even better, as I adittionally had a pcr after 21 days....so below the line i really can be sure?

- Is there a gap at the duo test, where there are no antigens no more but still no antibodies are detectable or do these phases overlap?

Thank you very very much, I hope I can sleep well again (I havent for weeks) after your advise.

[Vance2335]

1. Yes
2. No risk
3. No risk

[Sharkboy67]

The gap or second window has been called an urban myth by the former expert Dr's on this forum.

[Insect101]

Hello my friend, I think you should believe your test. And please stop googling. Move on as you are HIV negative. Same here in Australia, oral sex is not a great deal. with your results, I am sure tha you are negative. For 6 months, i didnt believe my home tests too because of oral sex. I kept googling and My HIV anxiety became bigger and bigger, even though  my results at home were negative. despite of my negative results, I still kept checking my body for symptoms, and false sympotms appeared everyday, until after 6 months, I went to the hospital, I the result was negative. What a waste of my 6 months life. I know HIV anxiety is a horrible thing to be caught with, and we cannot rationalize the mind despite of all the adviise that we get. Please move on, you are negative.