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Avatar universal

Being alone

I have kind of a weird question here.  How do you guys do being by yourself?  My husband went camping and was gone for 2 nights.  I have never done well but usually make it though when he's gone with nothing more than  excessive worrying.  This is the first time he's gone since my heart started acting so crazy, since his bypass and aneurysm surgery.  I woke up off the coach the first night he was gone in a full blown panic attack.  Took me 2 hours to get that under control.  Last night I got sick to my stomach and then started feeling like I was going to thow up.  That threw me into a panic because the last 2 times I have thrown up it put me into afib.  So I got in the car, drove to the ER and sat there in the parking lot, until I felt pretty sure I wasn't going to thow up.  What in the world is wrong with me?   How do you guys cope with being alone?  I definitely can't continue to act like I did this time.  Probably need to talk to a therapist, guess it threw my many anxiety disorders into overdrive.
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221122 tn?1323011265
I LOVE being alone...but not with PVCs.  I get dizzy and when my heart freaks out and I'm alone in the house, it scares me to death.
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Avatar universal
I am so glad I am not alone in this.  When this first started about a year and a half ago, I was scared to be by myself at all for any length of time.  Even a couple of hours.  I was scared to go anywhere, even to the grocery store, by myself.  I have improved a lot...I can be by myself all day and I'm good, I can go most places locally and I'm fine.  Still can't manage out of town to well but I'm trying.  It's just I was by myself for 3 whole days and 2 nights and it kicked my butt.  But you guys have made me feel much better about it...at least I don't think I'm losing it and know I have company in my misery. It is so difficult for people that can trust their heart to do what it's supposed to do to understand what it feels like or know how frightening it is. Thanks!
Helpful - 0
1182699 tn?1297574784
I absolutely HATE being alone! I began driving completely alone again last week...and I'm doing great! I still won't venture out of town, or go into a large store alone, but I'm improving everyday and I feel like I'm getting back to the old, independent me. I have never been a loner, and now that my girls are grown, I have to learn to be alone when my whole life, I never have been. I used to do everything with my mom, but she passed away about 10 years ago when my girls were little. So then, they did everything with me..now they do everything for themselves. My husband and I do a lot together, but now we are in different community clubs and must go our separate ways for evening meetings. I'm thankful he doesn't have to travel for his job though. I do not think my oldest daughter will ever move out LOL, so I may be safe there should my hubby have to go somewhere overnight.

Everyone likes to tell me it's my anxiety causing palps, but it is definitely the other way around and my PCP after 17 years FINALLY told me about 2 weeks ago he thinks I may have a central nervous system problem and that he thinks I have more adrenaline than anxiety!!! YAY!!!

So, this was not a weird question at all...you just validated that we are not alone in feeling scared and uneasy when we are by ourselves.
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Avatar universal
wow...you sound like me a couple years ago. I USED to have full blown panic attacks. Mine always showed as shortness of breath along with the palpitations. I have xanax. Have had for years and years. But...with a therapist..I am able to say now that i havent had a full blown panic attack in years. Anxiety?? Ohhhh yes. Daily. I dont overload on xanax..I live with anxiety. When I dont have the palps, I dont usually have severe anxiety. But..when Im alone...AND having the palps..it is VERY tough for me. VERY. Its my biggest fear--having something medically happen to me when Im alone. Then, add the palpitations, and Im a wreck, xanax doesnt help much then. Last night, (which I was posting on here alot with weird beats) I was alone. I think, if I hadnt been, it wouldnt have been so bad. When Im alone, I do keep my cell phone AND my regular phone either ON me, or next to me at all times. I go to the basement-I have a phone. Outside..I have a phone. Not that it is guaranteed to help, if something really did happen....I know that. But its a "lifeline". I dont think what you ask is weird at all, but im sure there are people reading this that do.... I just always worry...about my heart just plain stopping...and im alone. My husband is gone often...not overnight too much...but...works all day ( me too) and then hes got things at night. Like right now, hes getting ready to leave for a meeting. Will be gone hours. Iam having palps. So...Im uneasy.... I try to watch tv, etc...and that will usually work. I dont really have any family in town here, and friends I have, but it would really have to be bad for me to bother them...so....this long post is basically just to say I know how you feel, I feel the same!!!!
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Avatar universal
Thank you guys for the feedback.  I really felt like I was completely wacky.  I think I would have been so much better off if I could have reached my husband but he was in an area (mountains) where cell phones don't work.  But I will have to work on this.  What kind of fun can he have if I'm calling every minute?  On the flip side though, I survived and didn't actually go into the ER, so maybe that's something to build on.
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1569985 tn?1328247482
Are we tough cookies or what? It's amazing what human beings can survive.  I, too had the doctors telling me it was the anxiety bringing on the arrythmias, rather than the other way around.  I have since learned that is not true, which I always suspected since the attacks  came out of the blue when nothing was bothering me.  You guys are all my heroes -- you keep on keeping on and that is not a small thing.  Most of the world -- apparently including the doctors -- have no idea how debilitating these conditions can be.

I survive with my husband's help, trying to remember to breathe slowly (not easy during an attack) that it always passes (altho sometimes a trip to the hospital is necessary to end it.)

I've found when I'm around hyper people who are talking fast, that my heart rate gets faster and I start getting anxious.  If it's someplace I can't escape, like a meeting at work, I try to concentrate on breathing slow.  If it's a phone call when someone is agitated and it is affecting my heart, I excuse myself and say I can't talk any longer.  A good analogy is it's like being washed downstream by a flood and grabbing onto to a log to save yourself.  We're not helping anyone winding up in the hospital ourselves.  I had an episode yesterday, trying to help a friend through a crisis and almost wound up in one myself.

I am so counting on retirement (1-3 months away) and hoping life will be less stressful, thus fewer of these attacks.  Stress does contribute.  Good luck to all of  you.
Helpful - 0
1423357 tn?1511085442
I uprooted my like 10 years ago for a carreer opportunity, and moved 250 miles from where I had lived all my life.  My wife stayed behind for one year selling our house, and preparing to move piles and piles of junk....err... I mean belongings aquired over our 30 years of marriage and children.  I moved into our new house which is out in the woods where my only neighbors were beaver and coyottes.  No friends, no neighbors, unfamiliar doctors.  The only thing I dreaded during that one year alone was, what happens if I get an SVT episode?  My wife, and my lifelong SVT were so woven into my life, that despite the many problems of being away from home, that issure was the only thing that I couldn't cope with.  Over the year of being alone, I had several episodes.  I would call my wife, my coach and my life compass, and she'd literally talk me down, until I converted it.  It could be any time of the day or night, at home or at work  It's not like I couldn't do it without her, but she was always there through any previous events, and I felt I needed her there then.  We got thru it, but I have to say that it was the toughest year of my life.
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Avatar universal
No, it's not a weird question at all.  My husband travels on business occasionally.  I do worry about having an SVT attack while he's away or at work, especially lately since my SVT seems to be getting worse.  I meditate and try to stay quiet and calm.  Maybe this would be helpful for you?   Like yourself, I keep my cell phone on me at all times in case of an emergency.  Although I do panic at the least little symptom, I've been through this so many times that it's become second nature to pick up the phone and call the ambulance on the occasions that I've gone into a full blown attack.  We live out in the boonies far away from family and friends, but I am comforted by knowing that if anything did happen while my husband is away, I have several friends I can call and they'll come over to the house or the hospital immediately.  Anxiety does go along with arrythmias.......one former doctor had tried to tell me I had an anxiety disorder which was causing the problem.  My opinion is that the arrythmia came first and caused the anxiety.  My cardiologist and EP confirm this is correct, and it's good to hear that it's not all in my head.  I wish you the best.  Keep us posted on how you're doing.
Helpful - 0
1569985 tn?1328247482
I don't think it's weird.  I have Afib, runs of tachacardia, pac's and I keep my cell phone with me pretty much all the time.  My husband drives me to work, but I have quite a walk into my office, and he talks to me all the way in, especially in the cold.  I'm not supposed to walk in the cold, but try living in Michigan in the winter and doing that!  The panic is brought on by the irregular beats, tachacardia, adrenaline rush.  I'm pretty much okay when I'm at work because there are people are around, but walking alone used to give me agoraphobia (fear of open spaces), but that is getting better.  I start thinking, what if?  What if I faint, what if THIS time it's really it, etc.  I have relaxation exercises I do, meditation, take Xanax and Atenolol to slow my heart down.  Sometimes just deep breathing will help.  I read a book on panic called, "The Sky is Falling."  It may be out of print but you should be able to get it at the library.  I don't recall the author.  My cardiologist told me this panicky feeling is very common.  I've had talk therapy and it helps some.  Try to get enough sleep, eat small meals, give yourself plenty of time so you're not rushing, find a way to de-stress.  The fact is when the heart is beating in an irregular fashion, it is scary.  It's taken me awhile to get a handle on it, but have trouble driving because I'm afraid I'll have an episode.  My Afib started the day before my husband was going in for surgery for a fractured neck.  There's also a book called the Relaxation Response I've heard of I want to get, that's supposed to be good.  You CAN overcome this or at least get to a point where you can manage it.  If I can, anyone can.  Good luck to you.
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