Desperate in Rhode Island

[Wilful1]

I've been trying not to be too much of a cry baby, but here's my situation.  I  took a disability retirement from my job before I knew about the hep c.  I was having all kinds of health issues, but at least now I know why; however, most of my money goes to my health coverage and doctors' appointments and medications.  I can't make my mortgage payments any longer, my manfriend is having a very difficult time coping with my sx and is so frustrated financially because of my situation and he has been helping his son, so he is going to leave.  My son is going back to Iraq in October.  I have his ex-wife and two sons living with me until they can find a place to live.  I'm sick, lonely, scared, broke, the housing market has crashed--can't get a buyer; I'm so tired but still trying to pack up a house and decide what things have the most value for me to keep.  I have an option to live with my son in Savannah, GA until I finish tx.  It is so difficult to make good decisions and try to get healthy under all of this stress.  I do have to thank the interferon for making me so p*ssed off that I can't get depressed or give up.  I'm just wandering in circles living in chaos.  There is nothing anyone can do, but thanks for always being there and listening (reading, whatever).  This is the most healthy outlet I have right now.  "I am woman hear me roar..."  "You can bend but never break me...."   lol
Warmth to all.
Wilful

[Kristina538]

Oh wow,  you've got the lot happening.  When I started tx, I thought about my partner not being supportive, and I took the risk with my mortgage and figured if the house became a mortgagee sale so be it;  at least I would be through tx and will live to see better days.   The expectation that our lives will turn to custard while txing is always there and I'm so sorry to hear you are living through this stuff.   There will be a lot of grief around the house - when we're Mums our houses seem to be our security.  BUT we were wonderful peeps before we owned houses, and if our health is good we know how strong we can be....

If your son is going back to Iraq, is he not finding a place for his wife and children to live???   Can you take him with you to a support group so he can more appreciate what you're going through?? (did wonders for my hubby to hear first hand from some old tx'ers what it's like).  

I know I'd want to put everything in storage, pack a little bag, change the locks and leave if the peeps around me were not listening (and it sounds as though you have that option; you sound a little reticent about going to your other sons?).   You want to make this time all about YOU..   Remember to verbalise "I'm sorry I can't cope with this" put your hand to your head and go to your room but try not to get too emotional yourself - you're letting people know that you can't cope BEFORE it gets to the point of falling to pieces.

Hugs and prayers to you.  I hope you can concentrate on what options you do have and cajole whoever is nearest to you to help out before it gets any harder.   We can live without partners who cannot last the bad times - it's such a cliche that many tend to 'leave' when a partner gets sick.  At least it's not sick long long term because you ARE tx'ing and WILL get through to happier times.   Until then, one step at a time (still!!)  and keep it all as simple as you possibly can.  I thinking of you daily and wish you weren't having to prop others up at the moment - I hope you can make it known (gently) that you can't do it anymore and be secure in the fact that your grandchildren will still love you forever regardless :-)..    

[geterdone]

Hum… week nine 9 I remember it well, it was just about this time I had a big blow up with my supervisor over something very small and tedious and called him every thing from a brainless frog to a block, a stone and a less than senseless creature, yup thought I was a goner for sure. That riba rage can cause all kinds of trouble when you least expect it because it comes out from nowhere, yup! Just like an ovulating sea turtle with a bad disposition but this too shall pass (had three sisters growing up, hehehe). So, all is not lost! On the one hand you have 2 supper grandkids an x mom needing a place to live? Maybe a mutual compromise can be worked out they been living with you up to now. Sell everything and move in with your son, here your coming into the unknown and under someone else’s roof with a daughter in-law who may be receptive in the beginning but may not understand your moods as time goes by, btw after you get passed week12 things should start to smooth out, hopefully. Well, as to the male friend, there are a million of them, here look, http://www.donnabaldwin.com/male/malethumb_all.asp?Category=Mature take your pick. So there you have it, many, many options to choose from just as depression brings you down your spirit will lift you back up. No matter what just keep moving forward, you’re getting closer to the end every day.

[Marcia2202]

Wow, I really don't know what to say... What a terrible situation. I'm so so sorry that you have to go through all of this. All I can say is that I will be thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. I pray that you will be able to find the right solution. I actually wish for a miracle for you, but if that is not possible... May you be given the strength to pull through whatever you have to go through.

Hugs, Marcia

[sunshine585]

It's awful that you have to go through these financial difficulties on top of getting through tx. When something is getting to me, I try to tell myself, no matter what happens there is always a way.
  I'm sure you've thought of all the possibilities, but I'm going through mortgage probs too. I'm going this week to extend my amortization, to make my payments lower, and try to borrow a bit to cover other bills. Is that a possibility for you? Could you rent the house out?
Just remember you have supportive people here that understand and care. My thoughts are with you, you can do this.

[Wilful1]

Hey Linda,
Thanks for the pat on the back, it is what keeps all of us going through tx.  I think it is pretty normal to get discouraged on certain days when we are facing even the simpliest tasks, so you go ahead and feel sorry for yourself, but just get up tomorrow and keep going.  We all need to pull the covers over our heads on occassion lol.  And don't think you have to always "grin and bear it" through tx, because sometimes we just have to stomp our feet and roar.  : )
Warmly

[LindaC1207]

I'm so sorry that your going through all this **** right now, like can so cruel sometimes, however, it does seem like you have your priorities in order, your health!  With all your going through, it would be very easy to just throw in the towel and say, "the hell with it" but your hanging in there and with that you have my utmost respect.  

My heart goes out to you, your dealing with an awful lot right now but keep in mind that when god closes one door, he opens another.   Keep roaring woman and hang in there and grab that prize at the end.  It's people like you who make it so much easier to begin treatment.  Funny, I was just sitting here in work beginning to feel sorry for myself because I'm do to start treatment in less then two weeks and then I read your post and now I feel like a fool.  I will start treatment and I grin and bare it for 48 weeks because my health is the most important thing right now and without that, what good am I to anyone.

I hope that things get easier for you as time goes on, you certainly deserve a break!

Linda