Aa
Lost my mind brain fog
I have literaly lost my mind brain fog, I thought I had a GI apt today, I got all dressed, looked at the card and it is next week.
When I was looking at the card I got so confused having lived in Europe for so long, military husband. I could not get it straight through my brain if 5-6-08 was May or what?
I finally called the Docs office and asked. Of course they laughed, which made me feel worse, felt like a fool!
I have been so numb lately, I am an emotional person, I care deeply, I love deeply, I laugh a lot, when I am mad, I get really mad.
But I am not a cryer, I have spent the last few days crying. How can a person feel so numb, yet cry?
This just sent me over the edge, mind bewildering confusion!
I know it is the drugs, I know all the rational explanations, yet I still feel so lost.
Sorry if this is a downer,
Deb
When I was looking at the card I got so confused having lived in Europe for so long, military husband. I could not get it straight through my brain if 5-6-08 was May or what?
I finally called the Docs office and asked. Of course they laughed, which made me feel worse, felt like a fool!
I have been so numb lately, I am an emotional person, I care deeply, I love deeply, I laugh a lot, when I am mad, I get really mad.
But I am not a cryer, I have spent the last few days crying. How can a person feel so numb, yet cry?
This just sent me over the edge, mind bewildering confusion!
I know it is the drugs, I know all the rational explanations, yet I still feel so lost.
Sorry if this is a downer,
Deb
Oh Deb....dont feel bad. I have this "best friend" who I value more than anything. He has been a true friend in every sense of the word. In my eyes he's the best!
I made such an *** of myself and argued with him over nonsense.
It was the Riba talking not me, I too have been crying and I never cry.
I feel like a fool too!! Its the meds its not who we are right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rationally we know this....unfortunately we are not rational.
Love
Charm
I made such an *** of myself and argued with him over nonsense.
It was the Riba talking not me, I too have been crying and I never cry.
I feel like a fool too!! Its the meds its not who we are right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rationally we know this....unfortunately we are not rational.
Love
Charm
Deb --- just hang on --- OK?
I don't know how much longer you have --- but yeah === the brain fog is bad.
The emotions are bad too.
My helpers:
COMEDIES --- Tons of them --- I lived on them -- whether I was watching them or not.
Funny books --- like Betsy the Vampire Queen --- and Janet Evanovich books...
I did Crossword puzzles --- and when my brain wouldn't function I did Search a words...
I kept my mind busy --- I bothered my friends late late late at night...
I made a fool out of myself walking through the store --- stumbling over my own feet --- and forgetting which milk I was supposed to buy... I remember crying over not being able to remember if I needed the half gallon or the whole gallon. I know folks were looking at me strange --- but as soon as I realized I only had to call on the cell home --- to ask --- LOL - I was fine. After that - I tried not to go to the store alone.
I wrote nonsensical poetry on my walls (we cover our garage wall in butcher paper and have pens handy to let folks write on our walls ---- we have a dart room down there in the garage --- so it's kind of a hangout place)... But I wrote some really off the wall stuff.
But yeah --- KNOW you're going through some really hard emotional times --- and it doesn't get better until about 1 year off TX for some --- others ---- happy hunky dory right away.
Check with Doc for fast acting AD (XANAX and LORAZEPAM did WONDERS for me)
When you're really down and out doodle smiley faces... Whatever it takes...
OK?
You're not odd --- you're not weird... You're not doing ANYTHING abnormal.
So just make yourself smile --- half the fight is in making yourself do it!
Meki
I don't know how much longer you have --- but yeah === the brain fog is bad.
The emotions are bad too.
My helpers:
COMEDIES --- Tons of them --- I lived on them -- whether I was watching them or not.
Funny books --- like Betsy the Vampire Queen --- and Janet Evanovich books...
I did Crossword puzzles --- and when my brain wouldn't function I did Search a words...
I kept my mind busy --- I bothered my friends late late late at night...
I made a fool out of myself walking through the store --- stumbling over my own feet --- and forgetting which milk I was supposed to buy... I remember crying over not being able to remember if I needed the half gallon or the whole gallon. I know folks were looking at me strange --- but as soon as I realized I only had to call on the cell home --- to ask --- LOL - I was fine. After that - I tried not to go to the store alone.
I wrote nonsensical poetry on my walls (we cover our garage wall in butcher paper and have pens handy to let folks write on our walls ---- we have a dart room down there in the garage --- so it's kind of a hangout place)... But I wrote some really off the wall stuff.
But yeah --- KNOW you're going through some really hard emotional times --- and it doesn't get better until about 1 year off TX for some --- others ---- happy hunky dory right away.
Check with Doc for fast acting AD (XANAX and LORAZEPAM did WONDERS for me)
When you're really down and out doodle smiley faces... Whatever it takes...
OK?
You're not odd --- you're not weird... You're not doing ANYTHING abnormal.
So just make yourself smile --- half the fight is in making yourself do it!
Meki
Please look at your pic of yourself in your Supergirl costume and laugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try! Thats who you are!!
You will be fine Lucy!!!!!! Just a bad week!!
It will be two steps forward 1 step backwards!!
Try! Thats who you are!!
You will be fine Lucy!!!!!! Just a bad week!!
It will be two steps forward 1 step backwards!!
thanks, I just changed my pic to her. That is how I feel, on the ledge.
Meki thanks for the tips! Some I do, some sound fun, i like the garage and butcher paper.
I just called hubby at work sobbing, he made me laugh. he told me he did something just as air heady, he smokes and often when in the garage he will place his cigarette on the step to get into his exploder. He left it there, been there maybe 2 weeks.... burned itself way into the plastic. he is one of those people who is anal about things. Very precise.
He said only difference was he didn't cry and tell anyone.
I know I will get through this charm, I just don't understand it right now.
Meki thanks for the tips! Some I do, some sound fun, i like the garage and butcher paper.
I just called hubby at work sobbing, he made me laugh. he told me he did something just as air heady, he smokes and often when in the garage he will place his cigarette on the step to get into his exploder. He left it there, been there maybe 2 weeks.... burned itself way into the plastic. he is one of those people who is anal about things. Very precise.
He said only difference was he didn't cry and tell anyone.
I know I will get through this charm, I just don't understand it right now.
OMG - Deb we are so much alike!
I can't believe it but I thought I had my 4 wk PCR this morning - my poor hubby got in from a week long business trip at mid night - He took me through rush hr traffic - but i was so upset that he took so long to get ready and thought we would be late....he asked what was wrong in the car and I yelled "I just want t throw something" who was that??? My poor hubby he just got real quite then started being very sweet.
Well here's the clencher - we get clear to UCI and I sign in and the nurse says - Michelle what are you doing here your apt is tomorrow.....I almost cryed in front of her....
It's funny now - but it won't be in the morning when we have to do it all again....geez
BIG HUGS COMING YOUR WAY
I can't believe it but I thought I had my 4 wk PCR this morning - my poor hubby got in from a week long business trip at mid night - He took me through rush hr traffic - but i was so upset that he took so long to get ready and thought we would be late....he asked what was wrong in the car and I yelled "I just want t throw something" who was that??? My poor hubby he just got real quite then started being very sweet.
Well here's the clencher - we get clear to UCI and I sign in and the nurse says - Michelle what are you doing here your apt is tomorrow.....I almost cryed in front of her....
It's funny now - but it won't be in the morning when we have to do it all again....geez
BIG HUGS COMING YOUR WAY
It must have been something in the air yesterday. I went to the dentist to see how much damage the interferon might have done to my teeth and get a cleaning, which I did not do for a year as the thought of it gagged me. Teeth looked great. I thought I was late for my gastro so I called. Appt is for today, felt like a fool.
I went through tx really good but yesterday while driving in the car I just started crying like crazy. I just want to be back to normal, normal energy, normal weight, normal memory, normal hair, just back to me not this thing that looks (sorta) like me. Some days I feel normal and think "oh yea, I'm back and then the downhill fatigue, pain and just plain yuck sets in. From what I have read on this board------it does get better
Denise
I went through tx really good but yesterday while driving in the car I just started crying like crazy. I just want to be back to normal, normal energy, normal weight, normal memory, normal hair, just back to me not this thing that looks (sorta) like me. Some days I feel normal and think "oh yea, I'm back and then the downhill fatigue, pain and just plain yuck sets in. From what I have read on this board------it does get better
Denise
Mikkie,
It was the confusion that got to me, and the harder I tried to figure it out the more confused I got, then the anger and how can I not know this? I have dealt with it for 20 plus years!
I have had the riba rage before, even brain fog, this felt like Alzhiemers or something.
Good luck at your apt today. hugs
Denise, thanks you nailed how I feel right now, tired of being skin and bones, I woke up feeling much the same. Thanks both of you.
It was the confusion that got to me, and the harder I tried to figure it out the more confused I got, then the anger and how can I not know this? I have dealt with it for 20 plus years!
I have had the riba rage before, even brain fog, this felt like Alzhiemers or something.
Good luck at your apt today. hugs
Denise, thanks you nailed how I feel right now, tired of being skin and bones, I woke up feeling much the same. Thanks both of you.
Denise
Forrgot to wish you all the best on you apt today! I can feel a loose cavity coming, ACK the dentist!
Forrgot to wish you all the best on you apt today! I can feel a loose cavity coming, ACK the dentist!
I am just beginning my treatment (injection #4 coming up on Fri.), I, too, am experiencing confusion, crying, achey, stupid-feeling, lethargic....
I keep telling myself, "It's the meds, it's the meds, it's the meds.." Makes it hard to function at work. I have a job where I have to be happy - cannot hide in a cube from 8 to 5. I really have to force it.
I'm sorry you're going through this Deb, and can understand how frustrating it must be. At least you have a husband that can support you and hug you when you need it. (I hope) It sure beats being alone.
I keep telling myself, "It's the meds, it's the meds, it's the meds.." Makes it hard to function at work. I have a job where I have to be happy - cannot hide in a cube from 8 to 5. I really have to force it.
I'm sorry you're going through this Deb, and can understand how frustrating it must be. At least you have a husband that can support you and hug you when you need it. (I hope) It sure beats being alone.
You guys need to take a backseat attitude... And START LAUGHING...
Instead of getting belligerent with yourself or embarrassed --- treat it as a temporary --- ALLOWED "DRUNK" stupor...
Think of it as FUN... Oooopsie... I forgot... Oooooopsie --- I'm such a space cadet... Wheee...
Stop being so hard on yourselves and make fun of it...
YES! This stinks... But you have to roll with the punches or the punches will roll you.
Give yourself the freedom to enjoy what you can of it... OK - so it's not really fun... But let me tell you --- there ARE some funny moments to be had...
And if you forget to clean the house --- ooopsie...
and if you forget to pick up the dry cleaners and hubby has to wear the purple tux and light blue cumberbun --- Ooopsie...
If you only made desert instead of dinner --- oopsie...
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IN YOUR LIFE where you can make mistakes and REALLY blame it on something else as the culprit..
Yeah - you're a little confused... But heck --- who isn't on this stuff?
So write yourself notes.
But if you go into it with a "scared" or "frustrated" or "upset" attitude - you're going to be those things...
Loosen up and enjoy it --- cause at the end of the treatment everyone expects you to be normal again --- and while you won't be right away ---- LOL ---- the only time you can get away with the nutty stuff is while you ARE on treatment.
This doesn't mean you should uhm... well ... do nutty things on purpose --- But it does mean you should give yourself the freedom to laugh at the things you do - do... and laugh at the confusion...
OK?
Love you guys --- and be happy - you're on the way to kicking some serious HCV BUTT!
Instead of getting belligerent with yourself or embarrassed --- treat it as a temporary --- ALLOWED "DRUNK" stupor...
Think of it as FUN... Oooopsie... I forgot... Oooooopsie --- I'm such a space cadet... Wheee...
Stop being so hard on yourselves and make fun of it...
YES! This stinks... But you have to roll with the punches or the punches will roll you.
Give yourself the freedom to enjoy what you can of it... OK - so it's not really fun... But let me tell you --- there ARE some funny moments to be had...
And if you forget to clean the house --- ooopsie...
and if you forget to pick up the dry cleaners and hubby has to wear the purple tux and light blue cumberbun --- Ooopsie...
If you only made desert instead of dinner --- oopsie...
THIS IS THE ONLY TIME IN YOUR LIFE where you can make mistakes and REALLY blame it on something else as the culprit..
Yeah - you're a little confused... But heck --- who isn't on this stuff?
So write yourself notes.
But if you go into it with a "scared" or "frustrated" or "upset" attitude - you're going to be those things...
Loosen up and enjoy it --- cause at the end of the treatment everyone expects you to be normal again --- and while you won't be right away ---- LOL ---- the only time you can get away with the nutty stuff is while you ARE on treatment.
This doesn't mean you should uhm... well ... do nutty things on purpose --- But it does mean you should give yourself the freedom to laugh at the things you do - do... and laugh at the confusion...
OK?
Love you guys --- and be happy - you're on the way to kicking some serious HCV BUTT!
Thanks meki, there is no one as normally goofy as me! Ask Charm! I love to laugh, love to be happy.
I know this temporary, this is my third time treating.
But again thanks for reminding me of all the fixes. Your a sweety! :)
Kelle, it is the drugs, you need to ask for some ADS, last time I treated on Pyg that happened to me as well. They gave me some ADs, they really helped, this time I strted it before treating, effexor, it does help.
I worked through that txt as well, it can be tough, but you can do it!
My friend Charm and I do this silly journal on my pages, we think we ar ehillarious!
It helps us both get through the crappy days.
thanks again
I am lucky I have such a great hubby. He is a good guy.
I know this temporary, this is my third time treating.
But again thanks for reminding me of all the fixes. Your a sweety! :)
Kelle, it is the drugs, you need to ask for some ADS, last time I treated on Pyg that happened to me as well. They gave me some ADs, they really helped, this time I strted it before treating, effexor, it does help.
I worked through that txt as well, it can be tough, but you can do it!
My friend Charm and I do this silly journal on my pages, we think we ar ehillarious!
It helps us both get through the crappy days.
thanks again
I am lucky I have such a great hubby. He is a good guy.
3rd time treating --- and you're just NOW installing Fog lights?
ROFLMAO!
Too funny!
Meki
ROFLMAO!
Too funny!
Meki
All dressed up and no doctor to go to, huh? Sounds like a typical day on the fun drugs to me :)
Sorry you're not feeling well but it all will be behind you soon.
All the best,
-- Jim
Sorry you're not feeling well but it all will be behind you soon.
All the best,
-- Jim
yes!!!! I even put on makeup!
Oh well I am feeling better now, watch after all my drama yesterday, I will miss next weeks apt! Would that be irony or what?
Good thing they don't use military time huh? 1500, I would be in apuddle on the floor.
Thanks JIm!
Oh well I am feeling better now, watch after all my drama yesterday, I will miss next weeks apt! Would that be irony or what?
Good thing they don't use military time huh? 1500, I would be in apuddle on the floor.
Thanks JIm!
My friend when I first got your note today I have to admit your brain fog was so heavy it tried to get over and jump onto my brain! Talk about confusion!
Meki is right treat it like a little fun bit of a buzz and have a good laugh at the brain drain going on. It's the one time in life we can get away with saying/doing/thinking stupid things for real! Do not ask how I got promoted in the middle of it all - I think they might have felt sorry for me. Between the brain fog and the screaming out curses I'd laugh so hard at some of the threads I seriously think they thought I had Tourettes.
You don't seem all THAT bad! ;) Even if your doctor is going to get awfully tired of you just showing up on his doorstep!
Meki is right treat it like a little fun bit of a buzz and have a good laugh at the brain drain going on. It's the one time in life we can get away with saying/doing/thinking stupid things for real! Do not ask how I got promoted in the middle of it all - I think they might have felt sorry for me. Between the brain fog and the screaming out curses I'd laugh so hard at some of the threads I seriously think they thought I had Tourettes.
You don't seem all THAT bad! ;) Even if your doctor is going to get awfully tired of you just showing up on his doorstep!
Lol I know! the more I tried to make it make sense, the worse I got!
I was so frustrated,
Hmm tourettes is that a side also? That explains a lot!
No today is better, Charm and all the good folks here, you, meki, jim well most everyone have been so kind to help me.
One of my sayings has always been, "sometimes you just have to throw up your hands and laugh"
Lol oh I never showed up! Good thing I would of probably have brought a tree with me on the front of my car :)))
I was so frustrated,
Hmm tourettes is that a side also? That explains a lot!
No today is better, Charm and all the good folks here, you, meki, jim well most everyone have been so kind to help me.
One of my sayings has always been, "sometimes you just have to throw up your hands and laugh"
Lol oh I never showed up! Good thing I would of probably have brought a tree with me on the front of my car :)))
I must admit it was pretty funny when my Dr and hubby were making fun of me today ...When my Dr walked into the room he asked Mark how he was doing instead of me - (knowing how hard it is on the guys in our life) - i told him the story and he was amazed that my hubby was there with me again on day 2 after I bit his head off on day one....it was really quit funny - But a great visit - i shared all my research as usual and we explored alot of things - My excel spreadsheet documented the path that Enbrel is taking in this tx and he is even documenting my case for a review board. I have keep maticulous notes dispite the fog and hope to write a paper when we are done.
Gotta love a great Doc
and thanks meki for the peep talk...keep em rolling - Like I tell my husband "just lie to me" When I look my worst he tells me how beautiful i am - love it.
Deb - did you all know that on your 3rd treatment that at the end you will magically transform into a robust, curvacious beauty with tons of vitality and energy, your IQ will triple and you'll be faster then a speeding bullet, stronger then a locamotive and be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Feeling better yet super girl?
Hugs,
Mikki
Gotta love a great Doc
and thanks meki for the peep talk...keep em rolling - Like I tell my husband "just lie to me" When I look my worst he tells me how beautiful i am - love it.
Deb - did you all know that on your 3rd treatment that at the end you will magically transform into a robust, curvacious beauty with tons of vitality and energy, your IQ will triple and you'll be faster then a speeding bullet, stronger then a locamotive and be able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
Feeling better yet super girl?
Hugs,
Mikki
Oh I bet your Doc is like wow! I always think I am organized, then I talk to you, and say ok maybe not! lol!
It is sort of cool when they use you as a caase study. you rock my friend!
I am gonna be curvaceous? WOOOHOOOO and I will be smart? I am liking this!
Hugs!
It is sort of cool when they use you as a caase study. you rock my friend!
I am gonna be curvaceous? WOOOHOOOO and I will be smart? I am liking this!
Hugs!
Thats a cool word huh curvaceous - I think I'll take a double dose...I've inda got that Twiggy thing going....I shop the kids section....those training bras are pretty cute these day :-)
I saw a woman the other day on I-95 driving and it looked like she had Tourettes very very bad. I got out of her way fast. Dont know how she was allowed to drive. Probably wasnt.
Sad horrible thing to go thru like any other disease.
Sad horrible thing to go thru like any other disease.
yes, there are some words that are way cool, that is one of them!
Simpatico, I like that also. Ok next theme will be good words!
You are twiggy reincarnated! I am short and loosing weight like crazy, BUT you got me beat!
lol please do not tell me you are also wearing my little pony knickers!
Simpatico, I like that also. Ok next theme will be good words!
You are twiggy reincarnated! I am short and loosing weight like crazy, BUT you got me beat!
lol please do not tell me you are also wearing my little pony knickers!
Hi Deb, I just read your post. This kind of thing must happen to a lot of people who have lived on both sides of the pond, I know it does to me. Figuring out that date thing can be a trial. The time to stay in and lock the door is when you start to drive on the wrong side of the road, like I did not so long ago. Scary. I find it very disturbing when things get out of control like that as I didn't used to be a person who would every do stuff like that. Hello the new post-tx me.
Best wishes,
dointime
Best wishes,
dointime
Have an Answer?
You are reading content posted in the Hepatitis Social Community
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
