smoking addiction

[Myown]

My husband had quit cigarettes for 3 months. I thought he had quit for good, but guess what?? I found a cigarette lighter on the bed under the sheets when I got in bed the other night. I was upset that he didn't tell me, but he thought NOT telling me would be better cause I guess he figured I would never find out being he has enough control not to smoke around me in the house. He didn't want to upset me by telling me he went back to smoking, but I told him that by lying to me and saying he quit is more upsetting than hearing he is still smoking.


His parents both had cancer - mouth/ throat and both due to smoking. His father died from it and thank God his mother was cured. So thats why for the last 20 years I have been hoping he would quit and up until now, I thought he did.

Did anyone have a real hard time giving up cigarettes and knew that they needed extra help. If you did get extra help, and were able to quit, how did you do it? He'll try anything but hypnosis. He even thinks he needs to talk to a psychiatrist cause he just can't believe how he keeps going back to it - even after 3 months of not smoking. He thinks he has a harder time than anyone and I can't convince him that all ex-smokers had a hard time and you just have to resist.


I had given it up years ago on my own without using anything, so I am unable to suggest anything to him.

Any suggestions or maybe someone has gone through the same thing and took some pill or something. I remember reading a while back that there is a pill to help a person stop smoking but I forgot the name of it and I don't know if it has sx. I am upset that he lied to me, but I won't harp on that because he thought he was protecting me from added stress - thats how different men are from women,,,I would have wanted to know and hear the truth so I could help him.

well if you have any ideas please let me know. Thanks, MO

[charm27]

I am a determined stubborn person. I believe if you want to stop eating so much keep your mouth closed. I beieve if you want to stop smoking bad enough you just stop cold turkey. If you want it bad enough you will do anything. Its a habit yes and it takes time to  get thru yes, but thats the only way for me. I stopped smoking 11/23/07 the day I started tx and never looked back.

But again thats me, I feel with anything the only way to do something is to do it.
Not easy I know.
But thats me.

[sldb]

My boyfriend stopped smoking by having that Laser tx done, it worked (he was ready to quit which helped), He had 1 relapsed and they retreated him for free, now 1 yr. post tx he is COS, (cessation of smoking). I do test him for signs and symptoms of relapse: smelling for residual smoke in his hair and clothing,  the  presence of lighters in his truck, and the telltale foil wrapping, but he is UND. SO FAR LOL!!!!!  

[FlGuy]

Maybe he did quit and the lighter wasn't his

[kimmypoo2]

I TRIED CHANTIX......I ONLY TOOK IT FOR A MONTH  ITS BEST TO USE IT FOR 3 MTHS   IM STILL SMOKE FREE... BUT SOMETIMES ALL THE STUFF WE GO THROUGH FROM DAY 2 DAY AND TX ON TOP OF IT ....ITS TRULY A WORK IN PROGRESS...LOL

[Myown]

Thanks guys.

charm, I am like you. I made up my mind and quit, but it wasn't as easy maybe for me as it was you....if I knew I had liver disease (if in fact I did at the time) that probably would have helped me quit, I think so at least. He is very strong in all areas, except smoking for some reasons. Congratulations on quitting btw.

sldb, laser tx? What do you mean? I never heard of that. So you smell his hair and all that? lol I wouldn't be able to do that cause he would get mad because he expects trust in a relationship:)  So, this time I will cut him slack because he has cut me slack when I do things that get on his nerves. He has one more chance to make it right otherwise he can go live with his mother until he quits. Let her worry about it. But let me know about the laser tx okay?

FlGuy! HAHA,,,,Nah, I don't think so. -  I know, you must be a "Nanny Cam" salesman and you are trying to make a sale!

Kimmy,,,,Thank you.I just got off the phone with one of the forum members and told me about this Chantix so I am definitely going to tell him. If it doesn't work this time, I give up. If he wants to be that foolish and continue smoking, there is nothing I can do.

Thanks to all.

[sldb]

You dont tell them what you are doing, give him a peck when he walks in the door and SNIFF lol.... Ill tell him what ive done when iam sure he has stopped. I live in New Orleans and there is a place called Laser Center of LA. , they laser certain parts of your body, I forgot which, instruct you to drink plenty of h2o for a week, and the nicotine cravings leave.  They do follow up txs if needed, it really works , but he has to want to quit.  

[Forseegood]

feel sick today so I haven't read this entire thread...has he tried hypnosis, along with some other things like the patch or gum, etc etc...all at the same time? sometimes addictions are so strong that you need to throw everything at them...but hypnosis is very good for addictions, I heard Robin Williams say he had tried everything to quit smoking, and hypnosis is the one that did it for him...here's a really good site, just like 8 bucks for downloads, and they are very good at what they do...they also have excellent anti-anxiety downloads, they have a download to address just about everything...

hypnosis downloads dot com   spelled all together....best of luck, I've heard junkies say heroin is easier to kick than cigs....

[Forseegood]

forgot to add, like the old saying goes, anything worth getting is worth working hard for it, and you rarely get anything worth getting without working hard for it...lol...you have to do due diligence when your listening to these hypnosis tapes, and concentrate...sometimes I've suggested them to people and they say they didn't work...I ask them how many times they listened to them and they'll say, oh,maybe 3 or 4 times...in order for them to work, at least listen to them once or twice a day, for many days...they've worked for me for a number of issues, but when I slack off they don't..you have to re-wire your thinking process and that takes time..

.just wanted to add that...best of luck!!!!!

[Lady Lauri]

I am glad you still have a husband after all these weeks tx :)...kidding!!!!

As I sit here eating my organic dinner, making organic tea and am back to Yoga after mths. not while on tx...... I am than going to light a *&%$#@# cig!
   I've battled nicotine for years! Never addicted to ANYTHING I ever tried, also stubborn, strong and so on, but these things are hell to quit :(  :(  
Being an otherwise 'health nut' most of my life! I do believe some have habit addiction, some nicotine addiction and some both. I am both and it sucks!! I will try ANYTHING that'll work. I don't even care if I get fat!

Remember that I found out I had Hep C thru an acupunturist I was sent to TO quit smoking!! Went into tx and didn't do that yet. I have a friend that said he'll even send me to Baltimore to the guy that he went to for hypnosis years ago (he quit) and/or pay for anything I'll try to quit. Guess it's time to use that!

Tell hubby keep trying :(

LL

[Lady Lauri]

Curious on the laser thing too ??
Can't they just knock us out and wake us in 2 weeks :(   ?????

LL

[FloridaMouse]

I quit with the use of Chantix.  I took chantix toward  the tail end  of m y first r ound of treatment.  by the time treatment was finished so were  the smokes.

I was smoke free within 3 weeks of starting  Chantix and took it for just over 2 months.  I was smoke free for a year on March 4.

Mouse

[Myown]

You dont tell them what you are doing, give him a peck when he walks in the door and SNIFF lol.... Ill tell him what ive done when iam sure he has stopped. I live in New Orleans and there is a place called Laser Center of LA. , they laser certain parts of your body, I forgot which, instruct you to drink plenty of h2o for a week, and the nicotine cravings leave.  They do follow up txs if needed, it really works , but he has to want to quit.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
LOL, ohhhh, so ya do the ole Inspecter Cluso,,yeah I can do that. I'll have the theme of the "Pink Panther" playing as he walks thru the door too.

Too tell you the truth, I give up. I have said as much as I could possibly have said over the years and for those that know me, the interpertation of that, is that I ran it into the ground. Now if he wants to smoke a pack of Marlboro's right in front of me while juggling 2 lit cigars in the air - go for it. I don't care. He's a neat freak and the only thing I will do is remind him he smells if I happen to smell smoke on him,that will annoy him and maybe help him give it up, but I won't ask him if he had a cigarette ever again, I'm tired of it. I'll tell him about the laser, I forgot to. I see that they do that here- over NYC. I'm just very disgusted at this point that he is smoking again but he's a big boy and if that's what he wants to do go ahead do it.

Thanks for letting me know about the laser.. MO

[Myown]

4 C "has he tried hypnosis, along with some other things like the patch or gum, etc etc...all at the same time? sometimes addictions are so strong that you need to throw everything at them...but hypnosis is very good for addictions, I heard Robin Williams say he had tried everything to quit smoking, and hypnosis
----------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks but the hypnosis is not something that I would want him to do. From a spiritual prespective it goes against things I believe in. The patch, I know what your saying, but its weird cause he DOES get beyond the 'physcial addiction' point on his own and after 3 months something will happen and he lites up - not that I was aware though,. I know its hard, hes worried about me, his mother is dying, my mother lives with us and has b/c and bone cancer so he has all this sad stuff around him and I am sure it must take its toll at times - though he is cool hand luke, I'm sure thats just the exterior and maybe he is nervous underneath. You know how guys are, they hate to show us any weakness in themselves, meantime at this age, as a female, things that were once important have changed. I like to see a man show his weak side, and if he cries it shows he's sensitive and I think most woman like men that are senstitive- well I do, I shouldn't speak for all women, some like the John Wayne type. I tell him that all the time - don't hold things in if something is bothering you and he always says he's fine ---Yeah sure,he's smokey the bear - things are fine:)

Thanks sweety, MO

LL....Yeah, you should really try to give it up. It goes against everything you believe in,being you eat organic and all of that. I would try with that Accupuncturist again. She is amazing that she told you that there was something wrong with your liver. My Neurologist rolled his eyes at me when I told him that your Accurpuncturist dx you had liver problems. I liked that doc but I told him "see this is exactly why we don't have cures to lots of diseases yet - "the conventional doctors are always rolling eyes' at anything that has not been 'taught to them in med school.'' I said the girl DID wind up having liver disease - hep c, so how can you not believe and roll your eyes at me??? Well the conversation went on and on, I do like this doc and he said he found me 'interesting,' whatever that means, so at least he was open to discussion about altenative med, even though he doesn't believe in any way, he did find the conversation interesting. But I will continue to tell all my doctors that are conventional any and all of the progress that alternative medicine is making when I read things on the forum or studies cause they are not even giving it 2 seconds of their time. I remember reading that HR was at a convention and he said in talking to several known hep docs, none of them knew about a study that was done with PPC - that I find just absolutely amazing or sad I should say..And I go to a leading hep doc and he has not mentioned adding PPC to my tx, but I will bring this up next appointment. Thanks MO

FlMouse......thanks I told him about the Chantix and first thing he asked is "well what about sx?" I said "I didn't read about the sx yet, but do you think the sx of Chantix will be worse than the sx of cigarette smoking?" Geesh. Thanks MO

[Lady Lauri]

   How cool you told that Dr. that :) You can add this.....I went to this same Dr. office over 10 yrs, they never found it. At least 6 high LFT's labs are in my records, dating back to 2000! In 03 they ran a Hep test...ONLY for A & B! On that report it is written 'tell patient she is neg. for Hep" !!
  In 04, there is a lab report saying "high LFT's, patient needs to follow up with Dr. something"...never told me that! In last 7-10 visits there my complaints were the same, fatigue, muscle pain a LOT, really itchy skin area's, feeling sickly, feeling 'foggy'. When I went back and said.."acupuncturist say's check my liver, the new Dr. in office says, reading thru my charts..."why has no one ever checked your liver?" !!
  I would not be tx'd and UND today if not for her. No other explaination.
They also just came out with a study, conclusion that acupuncture is superior for back pain over pain meds and pain management!

And you are interesting.....that's a good thing :)

LL

[nygirl7]

I am addicted to cigarettes.  I have no intention of quitting at this point in my life.   To say otherwise would be a lie.

I've quit drugs, abusive relationships, drinking, cancer and most recently tx. Had a husband commit suicide last summer, broke my back in '93, almost died in childbirth in 88, been evicted, been in ****** houses, cried at night wondering where the next money would come for the electric bill to keep my kids warm...worked crappy jobs for ****** perverts and finally turned all that around to good at 40 years of age.

Still - I'm still smoking.

Please do NOT ever say it's just a mind over matter issue.  For some of us - it's a physical and mental dependence that isn't just "oh i won't have one now".  

I don't mean to be rude but the chocolate cake and fried chicken is gonna kill you just as fast - if the hep doesnt.  It's always something in life.  Non-smoking preachy preachers who have their own vices **** me off more than any other bigots in life.

Just my humble opinon but now I'm going outside to have a smoke.

[jdwithhcv]

We're talking about a grown man here, presumably.  So try to keep sight of the fact that this is HIS decision.  Staying on his back about it will not help him quit, but it will damage your relationship.

[ladywhy]

You are so blessed to have that husband of yours! He really is a doll...and I know because of both his parents having had cancer directly due to smoking it is even more upsetting for both of you. I'll pray that he tries the chantix and that it works for him. He is also blessed to have such a caring loving wife.

Uhoh...I feel a lil green..........with envy.
y

[ladywhy]

Ahhhh the shame....I too am a smoker.......
After tx....I'm gonna try chantix AND accupuncture.

Hope one day soon to be a
Nonsmoker...once again.

right now...i don't see how i can do it.....it's my pacifier....pitiful....

[moahunter]

It is a bit like booze, and alcholics though. Once you are addicted, it never leaves you. I haven't had a cigarette for over 10 years, but I still want one sometimes, sometimes I catch a whiff and really want one. Not everyone is like this, but if you were heavily addicted, I don't think it ever goes. What stops me from smoking is that I don't want to anymore, not because I wouldn't like it, but because I have made the decision it is not worth it. Until you make that decision, just like an alcholic with booze, or the treatments are pretty meaningless IMO.

[moahunter]

Anothe way of puting it, you have to realize, that quiting smoking, will cost you a pleasure. A treatment might ease the tranisition, give you some alternative pleasure, or numb its absence, but at some point, you just have to face up to that, and decide if the cost (pleasure loss) is worth the benefits (financial, health, etc.).

[nygirl7]

Nobody of age WANTS to smoke anymore - it was something we were all tricked into when we were little to be "cool" like the big people.  I've never really found anybody who had any other reason for smoking. It sucks. That's why it aggravates me SO MUCH when I hear mind over matter - I'm a pretty damn tough cookie when I know my life is at risk..........but I CANNOT defy this addiction both physically and mentally.

Maybe someday again but right now, no.  

[ladywhy]

One time in my life I quit for almost 3 years. I was advised to daily (these exact words) to pray for the willingness and the desire (fake it 'til you make it) I also was having accpuncture done at the same time...these 2 things worked for me....I barely had any withdrawal and had been smoking just about my entire life...oh the insanity of starting again....
I try to remember and believe ..."I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."...especially through difficult times.....

I am a work in progress.....and I know the day will come that I will surrender these killers. Crazy but true... I loved being a nonsmoker.
enough of this....i know i'm being a hyprocrite and it hurts my soul.

[Forseegood]

not wanting to argue this, but just for the sake of argument lol.....hypnosis has nothing to do with spirituality, religion, nothing...it makes no mention of these either way and has no stand on these things because it doesn't have anything to do with them....it's just about dealing with subconscious desires that are about stress management...the subconscious is very stressed and wants to protect you by many times unhealthy forms of stress management....like oral fixations like smoking, drinking, etc etc etc....so it doesn't go against any religion, belief system, anything that anyone believes....

I should think that anyone believing in any kind of higher power, whomever or whatever that is, would want to help themselves with these very dangerous but very hard to treat embedded habits...course My Own, you're free to do or not do whatever you feel is right...but I just wanted to clarify this for the sake of anyone else reading this thread...respectfully...hope youre doing well and having a good day!!!!!

[mikesimon]

You just have to find a hypnotherapist who isn't into the occult and doesn't practice the dark arts. You know where she is coming from, don't you? it's not a reasonable reaction and especially if you think it might help. I know it can help but I never had any religious reservations. I am unafraid of the dark arts but, smoking - well, that's a different matter entirely. Smoking is very scary. I quit last Thursday so I should know. Mike