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Anxious over cunnilingus
I went to an Asian massage place that does a happy ending at the end. The lady will let you play with her breast and tease you and then use their hand to get you off. This weekend I looked up at her and licked my lips and surprisingly she offered me to lick her. I was drunk and so I gave her cunnilingus for a few minutes. Then she did her normal hand job on me. Ever since I have had amazing anxiety as I think I feel an itch on my mouth here and there. We did not have sex and she didn't go down on me.
It's been 3 days since this happened and yesterday I noticed that the inside behind my lip bothered me when it rubbed against my tooth. It doesn't hurt if it's not touched. Today I was at the dentist for a filling and asked him about it. He said it was a canker, when I asked if it could be herpes, he looked again and said it doesn't look like it, and it's not in a normal place for herpes. He said it was very small (1 mm) and he was pretty sure it was a canker sore. He said that while herpes can be inside and away from the lip, but it's not typical. He didn't swab it. Can you please help me understand my risk here? I now it's not a high risk for another STD or even herpes based on this post: https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs-STIs/cunnilingus-STD-risk-in-summary/show/735690. I'm hoping this post is still accurate since it's been a number of years since it was posted. I have been tested for hsv1 and hsv2 during my STD screenings (I've asked for it) and I have been negative for both. The last one was well after my last sexual encounter.
1. How likely is it for herpes to transfer from her vagina to my mouth during cunnilingus? I licked her on the outside and sucked on her clit. I didn't put my tongue inside her if that matters.
2. I know you can't see it but would herpes look like a single canker sore on day 3? It's half way up the backside of my lip (between the lip and the gum). The dentist said it didn't look like herpes and that it would normally look different than a canker.
3. I felt off today, tired, a headache, and neck tension today before I asked him about it. I am pretty sure it was all anxiety and it seems less afterward but I was afraid it was flu like symptoms. I also haven't been sleeping through the night because of my anxiety.
Can you please help me understand how likely it is to transfer to me by going down on her? Also what should I look for if it were to happen so I'm not worried about every little feeling? I also know I can't be tested for a few weeks.
It's been 3 days since this happened and yesterday I noticed that the inside behind my lip bothered me when it rubbed against my tooth. It doesn't hurt if it's not touched. Today I was at the dentist for a filling and asked him about it. He said it was a canker, when I asked if it could be herpes, he looked again and said it doesn't look like it, and it's not in a normal place for herpes. He said it was very small (1 mm) and he was pretty sure it was a canker sore. He said that while herpes can be inside and away from the lip, but it's not typical. He didn't swab it. Can you please help me understand my risk here? I now it's not a high risk for another STD or even herpes based on this post: https://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs-STIs/cunnilingus-STD-risk-in-summary/show/735690. I'm hoping this post is still accurate since it's been a number of years since it was posted. I have been tested for hsv1 and hsv2 during my STD screenings (I've asked for it) and I have been negative for both. The last one was well after my last sexual encounter.
1. How likely is it for herpes to transfer from her vagina to my mouth during cunnilingus? I licked her on the outside and sucked on her clit. I didn't put my tongue inside her if that matters.
2. I know you can't see it but would herpes look like a single canker sore on day 3? It's half way up the backside of my lip (between the lip and the gum). The dentist said it didn't look like herpes and that it would normally look different than a canker.
3. I felt off today, tired, a headache, and neck tension today before I asked him about it. I am pretty sure it was all anxiety and it seems less afterward but I was afraid it was flu like symptoms. I also haven't been sleeping through the night because of my anxiety.
Can you please help me understand how likely it is to transfer to me by going down on her? Also what should I look for if it were to happen so I'm not worried about every little feeling? I also know I can't be tested for a few weeks.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Is this level of anxiety normal for you? You are worried far more than you should be.
The only thing I'd update from that post - and I'd bet Dr. Handsfield would agree - is the not seeing STDs go "either way". We now know that about 50% of all new genital herpes infections are genital hsv1, the result of someone with oral hsv1 giving someone oral sex.
However, we know that because of better testing and awareness, not because it's happening that much more.
Herpes still doesn't go from the genitals to the mouth nearly as easily as it does the other way around.
Herpes has site preferences - hsv1 prefers the mouth, and hsv2 prefers the genitals. When herpes is in it's preferred site, it is more active - it recurs more often, sheds more often, and therefore transmit more often.
If someone has genital herpes type 1, it rarely sheds, rarely recurs and therefore rarely transmits outside of symptoms. This is true for transmission to the mouth or genitals.
If someone has ghsv2, it is more active, but oral hsv2 still remains uncommon.
For other STDs, it is still uncommon to get anything from oral sex on a vagina. Nothing goes in your throat like giving oral sex to a penis, making transmission less likely.
Syphilis is a possibility, but a chancre needs to be present in order to transmit.
A canker sore doesn't resemble herpes. Your doc is correct.
The only thing I'd update from that post - and I'd bet Dr. Handsfield would agree - is the not seeing STDs go "either way". We now know that about 50% of all new genital herpes infections are genital hsv1, the result of someone with oral hsv1 giving someone oral sex.
However, we know that because of better testing and awareness, not because it's happening that much more.
Herpes still doesn't go from the genitals to the mouth nearly as easily as it does the other way around.
Herpes has site preferences - hsv1 prefers the mouth, and hsv2 prefers the genitals. When herpes is in it's preferred site, it is more active - it recurs more often, sheds more often, and therefore transmit more often.
If someone has genital herpes type 1, it rarely sheds, rarely recurs and therefore rarely transmits outside of symptoms. This is true for transmission to the mouth or genitals.
If someone has ghsv2, it is more active, but oral hsv2 still remains uncommon.
For other STDs, it is still uncommon to get anything from oral sex on a vagina. Nothing goes in your throat like giving oral sex to a penis, making transmission less likely.
Syphilis is a possibility, but a chancre needs to be present in order to transmit.
A canker sore doesn't resemble herpes. Your doc is correct.
2 Comments
Thank you for the response. Unfortunately I have gotten drunk and had a random hookup a few times over my life and have had bad anxiety most times. I plan to talk to someone about it. I also know if I get anxiety then I'm an idiot for doing it and putting myself through it. I was drunk at this time and was thinking this is mostly safe and then afterward I started questioning how likely what I was feeling was herpes.
So just to make sure that I'm clear, while nobody can say it's a zero percent chance, it's highly unlikely that I would have gotten herpes in that situation (assuming she even had it and wasn't having an outbreak)?
So just to make sure that I'm clear, while nobody can say it's a zero percent chance, it's highly unlikely that I would have gotten herpes in that situation (assuming she even had it and wasn't having an outbreak)?
Yes, that's correct.
Maybe stop drinking? Or getting drunk? If that's a contributor to choices that cause anxiety, start there. Definitely get counseling, too.
Wish you the best.
Maybe stop drinking? Or getting drunk? If that's a contributor to choices that cause anxiety, start there. Definitely get counseling, too.
Wish you the best.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
