Aa
Scared, truth, everthing, expossure.
Hello,
Im going to try to be brief but I feel like I need to talk. I have had this big fear of herpes (even though its common) since I was 24 years old (2011). I was a always very adiment about getting everything tested when i went for my check ups and would always specificlaly ask for everything including HSV. I wasnt high risk, but i knew that the regular pannel didnt come with it, so i knew to ask. I had and encounter two weeks before, it was with a condom, but we did briefly kiss for about 2 seconds. I dont let people do oral on me because im scared of it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. But, one day when I went to get regular checkup, my IGM for HSV1 went to 1.83. About 5 weeks later I took a IGG test and was negative for both. (<.27 and <.16) I had a little itching on my mouth but nothing ever turned into a cold sore or anything. and Ive had little nicks here or there but nothing like lesions, blister, sores or anything, so i moved on with my life. It always stayed in the back of my head though and has helped with anxiety pretty much the rest of my life.
2017 - my next possible exposure was, hanging with my ex. i went to see him and we didnt have a sexual encounter but, i pecked him on the lips, with no salvia or anything, but i know our lips made contact. The next day i saw a blister form on his lips. I was devestated. I believe i got another test after that and it was negative, but i dont remember even lookin at the numbers. but the doctor told me that it was negative. I still never had any outbreaks or anything, down there or on m lips, just the same itchyness, or it may sting here and there, but no actual sores or anything. I remember in 2018, i had a red bump on my lips at the top right and i just bothered it for like two days, nothing happened to it, but i shaved it off with a razor. so i do not know what it could of been. yeah i was that crazy./scared
2020 - im getting out of a relationship, well we took a break. i had an encounter, but it was with a condom. We got tested for everything except HSV-1. I know my HSV-2 is negative, and everything else. about a week ago, my lips started itching again and a raised bump popped up on the left side of my lip, it didnt do anything but it was itching that was about it. i just put Campho phenique, on it and just took 400g of acyclvoir for 4 days. Actually my whole face broke out, becuase im also using Tea tree oil and taking vitamins like crazy. but like i said nothing every happened. two weeks later my lips still itches. Me and my ex are trying to work it out. we talked about cold sores cause he said he used to get them when he was yonger. When my lipped itched, he said to me, that must be a cold sore, but like i said before, nothing ever formed. I asked him had he ever had one before he said yes, when he was younger as a kid. my lip doesnt itch anymore after 2 weeks now, but i still have this constant fear. And yes i know it is very VERY common, as i have friend that have HSv1 and HSV2. But i don tknow why i have this fear over me. Its something I never talk about and im scared to take a test. IDK what to do or what to think. I stop sharing drinks, kissing and eveything because of this fear, unless i was in a relationshi. But i also am starting anxiety medicine.
Im going to try to be brief but I feel like I need to talk. I have had this big fear of herpes (even though its common) since I was 24 years old (2011). I was a always very adiment about getting everything tested when i went for my check ups and would always specificlaly ask for everything including HSV. I wasnt high risk, but i knew that the regular pannel didnt come with it, so i knew to ask. I had and encounter two weeks before, it was with a condom, but we did briefly kiss for about 2 seconds. I dont let people do oral on me because im scared of it and it makes me feel uncomfortable. But, one day when I went to get regular checkup, my IGM for HSV1 went to 1.83. About 5 weeks later I took a IGG test and was negative for both. (<.27 and <.16) I had a little itching on my mouth but nothing ever turned into a cold sore or anything. and Ive had little nicks here or there but nothing like lesions, blister, sores or anything, so i moved on with my life. It always stayed in the back of my head though and has helped with anxiety pretty much the rest of my life.
2017 - my next possible exposure was, hanging with my ex. i went to see him and we didnt have a sexual encounter but, i pecked him on the lips, with no salvia or anything, but i know our lips made contact. The next day i saw a blister form on his lips. I was devestated. I believe i got another test after that and it was negative, but i dont remember even lookin at the numbers. but the doctor told me that it was negative. I still never had any outbreaks or anything, down there or on m lips, just the same itchyness, or it may sting here and there, but no actual sores or anything. I remember in 2018, i had a red bump on my lips at the top right and i just bothered it for like two days, nothing happened to it, but i shaved it off with a razor. so i do not know what it could of been. yeah i was that crazy./scared
2020 - im getting out of a relationship, well we took a break. i had an encounter, but it was with a condom. We got tested for everything except HSV-1. I know my HSV-2 is negative, and everything else. about a week ago, my lips started itching again and a raised bump popped up on the left side of my lip, it didnt do anything but it was itching that was about it. i just put Campho phenique, on it and just took 400g of acyclvoir for 4 days. Actually my whole face broke out, becuase im also using Tea tree oil and taking vitamins like crazy. but like i said nothing every happened. two weeks later my lips still itches. Me and my ex are trying to work it out. we talked about cold sores cause he said he used to get them when he was yonger. When my lipped itched, he said to me, that must be a cold sore, but like i said before, nothing ever formed. I asked him had he ever had one before he said yes, when he was younger as a kid. my lip doesnt itch anymore after 2 weeks now, but i still have this constant fear. And yes i know it is very VERY common, as i have friend that have HSv1 and HSV2. But i don tknow why i have this fear over me. Its something I never talk about and im scared to take a test. IDK what to do or what to think. I stop sharing drinks, kissing and eveything because of this fear, unless i was in a relationshi. But i also am starting anxiety medicine.
The questions here have been addressed as thoroughly as this, or any online forum can. Please see a doctor for follow-up questions, and we hope you take the advice regarding therapy for anxiety to heart.
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Hi there - this is a really confusing conversation. Are you two, Hello_its_me123 and Lcortez_246 the same person? Or are you, Hello_its_me123 a friend of Lcortez_246, and you were previously posting Lcortez_246's story here as if it were your own?
If the latter, I'm going to be brutally honest here. Your time helping your friend would be better spent assisting her in getting proper treatment for anxiety - NOT in helping her post on herpes forums. Anxiety is the issue here, and it can affect a person's life in way, way more ways than having herpes ever could.
I urge you both to work toward the end of getting help for Lcortez_246's anxiety. If you are, in fact, the same person, then that's even more indicative of a need for mental health counseling. This is not a judgment. Many people suffer from anxiety, and therapy can help immensely.
If the latter, I'm going to be brutally honest here. Your time helping your friend would be better spent assisting her in getting proper treatment for anxiety - NOT in helping her post on herpes forums. Anxiety is the issue here, and it can affect a person's life in way, way more ways than having herpes ever could.
I urge you both to work toward the end of getting help for Lcortez_246's anxiety. If you are, in fact, the same person, then that's even more indicative of a need for mental health counseling. This is not a judgment. Many people suffer from anxiety, and therapy can help immensely.
2 Comments
Hello. No I can see it be confusing, as I would think the same. I just have access to her accounts. But no, I thought coming here would help her, besides my own story. But I mean we’re best friends so Im just Trying to help her in anyway possible. Rhetoric is just sensitive for her. Like she said 10 years and we’ve been friends since 20. So it’s been a battle.
Okay, well, I'm all kinds of confused, too, but that's okay.
Whether you're one or two people, my advice stands. You both have severe anxiety, and need help with this. I wonder if you aren't feeding into each other's anxiety on this.
I have no idea what the "rhetoric" is, because I'm sincere. In any case, I wish you both well, and hope you both explore counseling. You both deserve to find relief.
Whether you're one or two people, my advice stands. You both have severe anxiety, and need help with this. I wonder if you aren't feeding into each other's anxiety on this.
I have no idea what the "rhetoric" is, because I'm sincere. In any case, I wish you both well, and hope you both explore counseling. You both deserve to find relief.
Thanks both of you.
Thank you Jessie. I hope I’m not offending you or anyone reading this. My friend are just advocates for me that want to help lol, cause they been trying to calm me down for years. But your right.
1 Comments
I just want to help her, through it all.
I havent found a counsler yet, I was just perscribed medicine for anxiety. I think im scared to talk to anyone about this fear. I only took the acyclovir to see if it would change anything about my lips, like stop the itching or stinging feeling. But it didnt and the itching litterally stopped after 2- 3 weeks. with nothing evey forming. i had only taken the pills for like 4-5 days. theni think i did it 2 times again after that but not consecutive. Maybe its just the stigma in Texas, and i comfort my friends that have this, but i cant seem to comfort myself.
Its like one minuite Im ok then I put myself back in the situtation, where i get scared again then go into a depression. im 33 now and ive been living this fear since i was 24/25. sometimes i wonder if i have low self esteem or if its something else. Becuase i know the CDC/WHO doesnt even recommend testing, especially with no symptoms. but i have OCD about my body. Ive litterally had every vaccine availble know to mankind lol, that i can think of. even if i wasnt at risk. Sometimes when i am anxious i itch all over, like right now, my arm, legs, fave and everythign else itches. then i mkae myself scratch.
Its like one minuite Im ok then I put myself back in the situtation, where i get scared again then go into a depression. im 33 now and ive been living this fear since i was 24/25. sometimes i wonder if i have low self esteem or if its something else. Becuase i know the CDC/WHO doesnt even recommend testing, especially with no symptoms. but i have OCD about my body. Ive litterally had every vaccine availble know to mankind lol, that i can think of. even if i wasnt at risk. Sometimes when i am anxious i itch all over, like right now, my arm, legs, fave and everythign else itches. then i mkae myself scratch.
3 Comments
the only other perosn i talk to is my friend. she encouraged me to come on here. She tries but, i know sometimes it can be biased talking to people you know. Or you dont want to hear their opinions.
I tell her everything. thats why she came on here and spoke for me. Everytime i see something on my body i cry especially down there. I thougth i saw a cut one time but it went away in two days, it didnt hurt i was just chekcing. Im going ot try the counsling thing maybe what will help me move on, and get back to a normal life. I hate living in fear.
So you've been living like this for almost 10 years. Hon, it's time to find some relief.
I don't know if you have OCD or not - I'm not a clinician and can't diagnose you, but it sounds like a possibility. You may also have low self-esteem, or deep-seated phobias, but does it even matter right now what it's all called? You must be exhausted living like this, and there is help out there.
I've had genital hsv2 for 15+ years. I can promise you that it's no where near as bad as anything you're imagining. Obviously, no one wants it. I didn't want it. But really, it's just a thing. I have other health issues that cause way more issues for me, including allergies, sensitive skin, and other minor, but annoying stuff.
I'm not saying run out and get it, but that your fears aren't proportionate to the actual thing you fear. A counselor can help you work through that.
I also meant to mention, and can't believe I forgot, that the IgM is an absolute worthless test for herpes, and it never should have been done on you, as an adult. It is wrong at least as often as it is right. My own were negative when it should have been positive, and positive when it should have been negative.
https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/07/order-herpes-igm-blood-test.html
https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/flawed-herpes-testing-leads-to-false-positives/
https://drjengunter.com/2013/06/17/igm-blood-test-for-herpes-just-say-no/
The CDC even says no to the IgM.
So just try to ignore that test. It should only be done on newborns.
And you are an adult. At your age, about half the population has oral hsv1. Maybe when you were a kid there was a stigma about cold sores and such, but there shouldn't be anymore. Are you still holding on to things you heard a long time ago? Are the people you're around now just particularly ignorant about such things? Do adults still bully where you live? Maybe you should move, and take your friends with you. :)
In any case, get a counselor. Therapy is an amazing thing. It's not easy, but it's so worth it. You've been living like this for almost a decade - how much harder can therapy be than this?
I do not think you need to test for herpes. There is a decent chance of getting a false positive, and you can not handle that right now. Working through a false positive can take weeks and lots of money, and can be very stressful.
I don't know if you have OCD or not - I'm not a clinician and can't diagnose you, but it sounds like a possibility. You may also have low self-esteem, or deep-seated phobias, but does it even matter right now what it's all called? You must be exhausted living like this, and there is help out there.
I've had genital hsv2 for 15+ years. I can promise you that it's no where near as bad as anything you're imagining. Obviously, no one wants it. I didn't want it. But really, it's just a thing. I have other health issues that cause way more issues for me, including allergies, sensitive skin, and other minor, but annoying stuff.
I'm not saying run out and get it, but that your fears aren't proportionate to the actual thing you fear. A counselor can help you work through that.
I also meant to mention, and can't believe I forgot, that the IgM is an absolute worthless test for herpes, and it never should have been done on you, as an adult. It is wrong at least as often as it is right. My own were negative when it should have been positive, and positive when it should have been negative.
https://www.kevinmd.com/blog/2013/07/order-herpes-igm-blood-test.html
https://www.statnews.com/2017/01/26/flawed-herpes-testing-leads-to-false-positives/
https://drjengunter.com/2013/06/17/igm-blood-test-for-herpes-just-say-no/
The CDC even says no to the IgM.
So just try to ignore that test. It should only be done on newborns.
And you are an adult. At your age, about half the population has oral hsv1. Maybe when you were a kid there was a stigma about cold sores and such, but there shouldn't be anymore. Are you still holding on to things you heard a long time ago? Are the people you're around now just particularly ignorant about such things? Do adults still bully where you live? Maybe you should move, and take your friends with you. :)
In any case, get a counselor. Therapy is an amazing thing. It's not easy, but it's so worth it. You've been living like this for almost a decade - how much harder can therapy be than this?
I do not think you need to test for herpes. There is a decent chance of getting a false positive, and you can not handle that right now. Working through a false positive can take weeks and lots of money, and can be very stressful.
One day when i asked my dermatologist about my lip being scaley, itching, and irritated he just said it looked like eczema. Becuase sometimes ill have discoloration after it. and whenever anything feels like anything on my lips it never localized, it just all overr. im trying to think if i ever had to stratch down there. Probably, but never like to bad.
3 Comments
My friend actually came in here and commented for me, she tried to help me but i think i needed to speak on my own this time.
Sometimes I wonder if i worry myself or make my self break out with anxiety. By the way, i got the pills from a friend. And people probably wonder why so worried, if its so common. I guess when youver never had a outbreak or coldsore, or anything, especially when the wolrd puts a stigma on this, it will be new to you. So your natural reaction is to be scared. so i litterally check my body every day, or every week for past 10 years or so. i think i really need help .
First, let me say that I'm sorry you're so scared, and I'm glad that you're realizing that you need some help. Your fear of herpes is affecting you far more than actually having it ever would.
Your lip doesn't sound like herpes to me, and though I'm not a doctor, I think the eczema sounds right.
You might want to see if anything you are eating or using on your lips is triggering it or making it worse. Start keeping track of symptoms and what you were doing and eating just prior.
If you are going to be in a relationship with someone who has herpes, either type 1 or 2, there is a chance you can get it. I'm not sure where you are that there's such a stigma about cold sores, but don't let a stigma stop you from having a great relationship. Herpes isn't ever a good enough reason to leave a good relationship, or to stay in a bad one.
Of course, that's all logic and a fear isn't anything logic. I know, logically, that a tiny little spider isn't going to harm me but that doesn't mean that my heart isn't racing just thinking about it.
I've had hsv2 for over 15 years. Whatever your thinking herpes will be, I'm sure it's not that bad. It's a tiny annoyance in my life.
Don't put all that stuff on your lip, especially at once. Tea tree oil is really strong stuff, and if you're going to use it on thinner skin, like your lips, you should dilute it. (Lots of people dilute it anyway, because it's so strong.) Be careful with using too many things, too. It can make things a lot worse. For now, maybe just let your skin be and see what happens.
You don't need acyclovir. You don't have herpes.
Are you going to find a counselor? Meds help a lot, but counseling for anxiety and phobias, along with meds, works best.
Your lip doesn't sound like herpes to me, and though I'm not a doctor, I think the eczema sounds right.
You might want to see if anything you are eating or using on your lips is triggering it or making it worse. Start keeping track of symptoms and what you were doing and eating just prior.
If you are going to be in a relationship with someone who has herpes, either type 1 or 2, there is a chance you can get it. I'm not sure where you are that there's such a stigma about cold sores, but don't let a stigma stop you from having a great relationship. Herpes isn't ever a good enough reason to leave a good relationship, or to stay in a bad one.
Of course, that's all logic and a fear isn't anything logic. I know, logically, that a tiny little spider isn't going to harm me but that doesn't mean that my heart isn't racing just thinking about it.
I've had hsv2 for over 15 years. Whatever your thinking herpes will be, I'm sure it's not that bad. It's a tiny annoyance in my life.
Don't put all that stuff on your lip, especially at once. Tea tree oil is really strong stuff, and if you're going to use it on thinner skin, like your lips, you should dilute it. (Lots of people dilute it anyway, because it's so strong.) Be careful with using too many things, too. It can make things a lot worse. For now, maybe just let your skin be and see what happens.
You don't need acyclovir. You don't have herpes.
Are you going to find a counselor? Meds help a lot, but counseling for anxiety and phobias, along with meds, works best.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
