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HSV-1 transmission and relationships
The man I just started seeing told me he's positive for HSV-1 oral herpes. During the time of his diagnosis, he was having a flare up of his gastrointestinal disorders. He hasn't been physical or intimate with anyone since the diagnosis for fear of transmission. He had a small mild outbreak which is when he was diagnosed but never got it again. Can we still have a normal intimate relationship without the fear of transmission? Any information and advice is appreciated
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I disagree with Sassie. Unless you've never been kissed before, he's not the first person you've dated with it. He's just the first person who knew/told you about it.
2/3 of adults have it globally, and 90% never get symptoms. Have you ever tested for hsv1? You can ask your doctor for a type specific hsv1 IgG test to find out if you have it. If you do, you can't get it again.
If your doctor won't give you the test, or you'd rather not go there, you can go through STDCheck.com or LetsGetChecked.com and just do it yourself. They offer the same test, so choose whichever it cheaper/more convenient for you - whichever is more important.
If you don't have it, that's okay. Your partner can decide to go on daily antivirals to help reduce the risk of transmission. While we don't have transmission stats for hsv1 orally, we know that all herpes is most contagious when there are symptoms, so avoiding kissing and oral sex when symptoms are present is most important.
If he gives you oral sex, it can transmit to your genitals, and that can happen without symptoms present. Again, the risks will be lower if he takes an antiviral every day.
If you decide to not be with him, the next guy could have it and not know it, or the guy after him. If you like him, I wouldn't let this stop you. It's just way too common to let this stop you. It's your call, though.
2/3 of adults have it globally, and 90% never get symptoms. Have you ever tested for hsv1? You can ask your doctor for a type specific hsv1 IgG test to find out if you have it. If you do, you can't get it again.
If your doctor won't give you the test, or you'd rather not go there, you can go through STDCheck.com or LetsGetChecked.com and just do it yourself. They offer the same test, so choose whichever it cheaper/more convenient for you - whichever is more important.
If you don't have it, that's okay. Your partner can decide to go on daily antivirals to help reduce the risk of transmission. While we don't have transmission stats for hsv1 orally, we know that all herpes is most contagious when there are symptoms, so avoiding kissing and oral sex when symptoms are present is most important.
If he gives you oral sex, it can transmit to your genitals, and that can happen without symptoms present. Again, the risks will be lower if he takes an antiviral every day.
If you decide to not be with him, the next guy could have it and not know it, or the guy after him. If you like him, I wouldn't let this stop you. It's just way too common to let this stop you. It's your call, though.
4 Comments
Thank you for enlightening me. I really do like him and it doesn't scare me that he has it. He's more concerned about transmitting it to me. I'm trying to get all information possible so that we can go forward safely
Good for you for asking questions first. :)
The first thing to do is test. One thing I forgot to mention is that the hsv1 IgG test misses 30% of infections. It's by no means perfect, so you could have it and the test misses it, and you have no way of knowing that. (If you've ever had a cold sore, you have hsv1.)
If you have a positive hsv1 result, though, you can proceed safely. If not, maybe he will take daily meds, like Valtrex, to help reduce the risk.
The first thing to do is test. One thing I forgot to mention is that the hsv1 IgG test misses 30% of infections. It's by no means perfect, so you could have it and the test misses it, and you have no way of knowing that. (If you've ever had a cold sore, you have hsv1.)
If you have a positive hsv1 result, though, you can proceed safely. If not, maybe he will take daily meds, like Valtrex, to help reduce the risk.
I really appreciate your help and support. We're both trying to be responsible and respectful to each other, especially since the woman he got it from didn't disclose the information until after he got a cold sore
She may not have known. Most people who have hsv1 don't know because they don't get symptoms, and herpes isn't typically included in testing.
If she knew and didn't disclose - a lot of doctors tell patients they don't have to. It's a real issue.
I'm happy you and he have open communication. That will serve you well. :)
If she knew and didn't disclose - a lot of doctors tell patients they don't have to. It's a real issue.
I'm happy you and he have open communication. That will serve you well. :)
Hello~To be on the side of safety, I wouldn't. I understand that HSV can show up at any time, so, it would be wise to play it safe.
1 Comments
How do you suggest we proceed with our relationship?
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
