So last night my gf was over and we are in a monogamous relationship. Last night we hooked up and we were kissing a lot and I gave her oral sex. About an hour or 2 after I felt like I had an ingrown hair on my upper lip and didnt think anything of it cause usually when I get cold sores which is infrequent i get it on my lower lip. Anyways I go to sleep and wake up this morning seing 2 small vesicles. I am freaking out cause I would not be able to live with myself if I gave her genital herpes.
My 2 questions is if i didnt have vesicles how likely is it that I gave her oral or genital herpes? And would it be more likely for her to get a cold sore or genital herpes? Thanks for your help in advance
If she has it, her chances of getting it from you genitally are next to zero. She would just need to avoid getting oral sex from you when you have symptoms.
If she does not, she can get it from you with or without symptoms.
The chances are higher with symptoms - much higher - but it is possible without. There is something called asymptomatic shedding when the virus is active on the skin but we don't see it or feel it. It is infectious at this time.
Hsv1 hasn't been studied like hsv2 has, so we don't know transmission rates like we do with hsv2.
If she knows you have it, and is making an informed decision to be with you, then stop worrying so much. We know that ghsv1 is common, but when it happens, ir recurs less frequently, and sheds less frequently, and very rarely transmits.
You say, "I would not be able to live with myself if I gave her genital herpes.". Please understand that this is a huge overreaction. This is based on stigma, not reality.
Your gf can get a type specific IgG test from her doctor or from any number of online sites to find out if she has hsv1.
https://www.stdcheck.com/herpes-1-test.php - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.letsgetchecked.com/home-herpes-test/ - must test for hsv1 and hsv2
https://www.healthlabs.com/herpes-tests - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.ultalabtests.com/partners/ultdirect/testing/categories/std/herpes - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both - do not get the IgM test
All the sites run specials at different times. Google for coupon codes, too.