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Herpes on penis or abrasion
I'm in my mid 40s and I've been dating this woman in her late 40s. We're both senior executives at the same company and she doesn't seem promiscuous at all based on our history. I've been tested for all STDs for many years with everything coming back negative, using STDCheck's full panel. The last time I was tested was April 2022 with everything being negative. I've never asked if she's been tested but I just assumed she has no STDs given how professional and classy she is. She's married with an older son but she doesn't have sex with her husband anymore. Plus, she knows I'm paranoid about STDs so I just know she would tell me if she KNEW she had herpes or something else before putting me at risk.
Anyway, we had sex the morning of 5/22 and we used a penis masturbator device that I stroked while she controlled the vibration, so the stroking action got vigorous. We then had unprotected sex to finish. The morning of 5/24, I noticed a tiny red dot on the right side of my penis below the head. It honestly looks like an abrasion to me. No fluid-filled blister or any other symptoms at all. If I touch it, it has slight pain but nothing abnormal.
Does this sound like herpes? I have a pic that's very zoomed in so it doesn't show my penis.
Anyway, we had sex the morning of 5/22 and we used a penis masturbator device that I stroked while she controlled the vibration, so the stroking action got vigorous. We then had unprotected sex to finish. The morning of 5/24, I noticed a tiny red dot on the right side of my penis below the head. It honestly looks like an abrasion to me. No fluid-filled blister or any other symptoms at all. If I touch it, it has slight pain but nothing abnormal.
Does this sound like herpes? I have a pic that's very zoomed in so it doesn't show my penis.
COMMUNITY LEADER
A little red dot is very unlikely to be an STI, but if you are concerned, you need to go get it checked by a doctor. No one online can tell you what it is.
It might be an irritated hair follicle or just an irritated spot, or clogged oil gland, but only a doctor can tell you for sure.
You should know that STDCheck's 10 panel test doesn't include tests for mycoplasma, and there are no tests for HPV for men. There is no such thing as a "full panel" to mean that you are fully STD free.
Also, I've had genital herpes for 20+ years. I'm a professional woman in an managerial role. I have an advanced degree. I can count the number of partners I've had in the last 20 years on one hand with fingers left over. There was a time in my life when I was "promiscuous" - I didn't get herpes then. I didn't get herpes until I was in a long term, monogamous relationship.
"Classy" is a matter of opinion, of course. I don't particularly care about that and make no judgements, but how you dress, how you act, where you work, etc., is not an indicator of STI status. Anyone and everyone can have an STI.
I disclose my status to all my partners, but my sexual health is MY responsibility. I do not rely on my partners to be honest with me. Your sexual health is YOUR responsibility, and your fear of STIs is on you to bring that up with your partners.
You are a fully grown man. You know enough about STDCheck, so I assume you know about condoms.
If you ask someone about STIs and they don't disclose, that's one thing. If you just assume, that's something else.
Yes, I'm being hard on you. Preventing STIs and STI stigma is on all of us.
It might be an irritated hair follicle or just an irritated spot, or clogged oil gland, but only a doctor can tell you for sure.
You should know that STDCheck's 10 panel test doesn't include tests for mycoplasma, and there are no tests for HPV for men. There is no such thing as a "full panel" to mean that you are fully STD free.
Also, I've had genital herpes for 20+ years. I'm a professional woman in an managerial role. I have an advanced degree. I can count the number of partners I've had in the last 20 years on one hand with fingers left over. There was a time in my life when I was "promiscuous" - I didn't get herpes then. I didn't get herpes until I was in a long term, monogamous relationship.
"Classy" is a matter of opinion, of course. I don't particularly care about that and make no judgements, but how you dress, how you act, where you work, etc., is not an indicator of STI status. Anyone and everyone can have an STI.
I disclose my status to all my partners, but my sexual health is MY responsibility. I do not rely on my partners to be honest with me. Your sexual health is YOUR responsibility, and your fear of STIs is on you to bring that up with your partners.
You are a fully grown man. You know enough about STDCheck, so I assume you know about condoms.
If you ask someone about STIs and they don't disclose, that's one thing. If you just assume, that's something else.
Yes, I'm being hard on you. Preventing STIs and STI stigma is on all of us.
4 Comments
Thanks for your quick response and I apologize if my post offended you. I didn't mean to make sweeping judgements. I just see lots of people mention prostitute, escort or masseuse doing stuff to them, insinuating it's higher risk. I was just trying to provide that context full-well knowing that STIs can and do infect anyone.
Regarding HPV, I totally get there's no test and I probably have that. I simply meant that I've always come back negative for STDCheck's full panel test, which includes HSV-1 and 2.
Regarding the red/pink dot, it seems benign to me but it's simply my paranoia that has me here. It's nice to hear from you that you also think it's probably nothing, but I fully understand there's no guarantees.
Regarding HPV, I totally get there's no test and I probably have that. I simply meant that I've always come back negative for STDCheck's full panel test, which includes HSV-1 and 2.
Regarding the red/pink dot, it seems benign to me but it's simply my paranoia that has me here. It's nice to hear from you that you also think it's probably nothing, but I fully understand there's no guarantees.
Thanks for the apology, but you didn't offend me personally. I know who and what I am.
"We're both senior executives at the same company and she doesn't seem promiscuous at all based on our history."
"but I just assumed she has no STDs given how professional and classy she is."
You may understand now that anyone can get an STI, but that was not what you were implying before lol.
"I just see lots of people mention prostitute, escort or masseuse doing stuff to them, insinuating it's higher risk."
If it's protected sex, it's not any higher risk than anyone else.
In any case, I don't think a single red dot is cause for alarm. If you continue to date her, or anyone else, for your mental health, you need to have a discussion about STIs and testing. It's not abnormal to have this discussion. Many people do. It would save a lot of anxiety later, and mental health is as important as physical health.
"We're both senior executives at the same company and she doesn't seem promiscuous at all based on our history."
"but I just assumed she has no STDs given how professional and classy she is."
You may understand now that anyone can get an STI, but that was not what you were implying before lol.
"I just see lots of people mention prostitute, escort or masseuse doing stuff to them, insinuating it's higher risk."
If it's protected sex, it's not any higher risk than anyone else.
In any case, I don't think a single red dot is cause for alarm. If you continue to date her, or anyone else, for your mental health, you need to have a discussion about STIs and testing. It's not abnormal to have this discussion. Many people do. It would save a lot of anxiety later, and mental health is as important as physical health.
I really appreciate you taking the time.
Happy to help. :)
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