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can i get herpes through kissing and oral? if so how?
I was out at a bar with a couple of friends and I knew this one girl who looked cute and we started talking. So after a couple drinks, we ended up hooking up, then she came back to my place and she performed oral sex on me. Then when things got a little hot, she told me she had something to tell me before we had sex; she said she had Herpes. I was disgusted, but i dont know if i attained this disease its already been 5 days...I need some feedback please
Thanks
Thanks
People "wait" to tell you exactly because of the reaction you had - disgust. Is it lost on you that the biggest problem most people with herpes have is the social stigma of having it? For 90% of people, they don't even have any symptoms, that's how benign it is. Then people like you come out and say "I'm disgusted," and guess what? That's how the stigma gets perpetrated and continues.
Please don't give us a song and dance about being "clean." For starters, that's an offensive way to describe people who don't have STDs. People who are clean take showers every day. Your implication is that people with STDs are "dirty," and that's offensive and rude.
If you have never been tested for HSV before, I'm guessing you'll be positive for type 1 and perhaps negative for type 2. But you have a 25% chance of being infected with type 2. So to say you "never had herpes" means nothing - sorry. Most people with type 1 AND type 2 have few or no symptoms, so this could include you.
If you are talking about her giving you oral sex, then you probably were close to zero risk. You have a greater than 60% chance of already being infected with type 1, so you can't "catch" it again from someone.
How old are you? Do people still use the terms "first, second and third base?" Jeez. You're either dating yourself (like in your 50s, maybe?) or you are a teenager.
Please don't give us a song and dance about being "clean." For starters, that's an offensive way to describe people who don't have STDs. People who are clean take showers every day. Your implication is that people with STDs are "dirty," and that's offensive and rude.
If you have never been tested for HSV before, I'm guessing you'll be positive for type 1 and perhaps negative for type 2. But you have a 25% chance of being infected with type 2. So to say you "never had herpes" means nothing - sorry. Most people with type 1 AND type 2 have few or no symptoms, so this could include you.
If you are talking about her giving you oral sex, then you probably were close to zero risk. You have a greater than 60% chance of already being infected with type 1, so you can't "catch" it again from someone.
How old are you? Do people still use the terms "first, second and third base?" Jeez. You're either dating yourself (like in your 50s, maybe?) or you are a teenager.
Well for one...I never had herpes and I will get tested for it. For two I didn't mean to be ignorant and for three she didn't tell me before she gave me oral or kissed me. so she was trying to beat around the bush for a while.
I never said I did not commend her for telling me...I told her thanks for telling me before we got into it...but still how does someone do 1st 2nd and 3rd base but before you reach home, she strikes out by actually saying what the truth is. I mean I still talk to her, but all the above comments don't really answer my question. Most of the comments are about how i said disgusted...but for example pretend you were clean free of any disease, and then you go and make out and have oral...afterwards the person tells you she/he had herpes....how would you feel? When that happened to me I felt a little out of the ordinary.
I am just looking on some feedback on how to approach this...I'm not really here to criticize anyone.
Thanks
I never said I did not commend her for telling me...I told her thanks for telling me before we got into it...but still how does someone do 1st 2nd and 3rd base but before you reach home, she strikes out by actually saying what the truth is. I mean I still talk to her, but all the above comments don't really answer my question. Most of the comments are about how i said disgusted...but for example pretend you were clean free of any disease, and then you go and make out and have oral...afterwards the person tells you she/he had herpes....how would you feel? When that happened to me I felt a little out of the ordinary.
I am just looking on some feedback on how to approach this...I'm not really here to criticize anyone.
Thanks
Well, it's not surprising when people who don't have a lot of information about herpes feel a strong reaction, so I wish there could be less judgement here on this forum in the responses to people just being honest about what they feel.
On the other hand, bioguy, sounds like you're saying you were disgusted but did you have sex with her anyway after she told you or did you end it there? She did do a commendable thing by being honest with you and you can't be entirely sure you didn't have it before she told you, so I hope you go get the IGg blood test for both types (1 and 2) and find out for certain.
On the other hand, bioguy, sounds like you're saying you were disgusted but did you have sex with her anyway after she told you or did you end it there? She did do a commendable thing by being honest with you and you can't be entirely sure you didn't have it before she told you, so I hope you go get the IGg blood test for both types (1 and 2) and find out for certain.
I'm disgusted by your disgust. Are you a virgin? Because if you're not, statistically you've probably already had sex with someone with genital herpes (25% chance). The likelihood of having had sex with somebody with oral herpes is also greater than 60%.
It's rude and ignorant to be judgmental like that. It says more about your character than anything else. The woman who told you should be commended. Many people won't even bother telling you. Disgust is not what you should feel. You should feel grateful that she took your health into consideration before becoming sexual. As I said, many people will not respect you enough to do that. Yeesh.
It's rude and ignorant to be judgmental like that. It says more about your character than anything else. The woman who told you should be commended. Many people won't even bother telling you. Disgust is not what you should feel. You should feel grateful that she took your health into consideration before becoming sexual. As I said, many people will not respect you enough to do that. Yeesh.
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You are reading content posted in the Herpes Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
