Transmitting genital to oral hsv2?

[mcf1971]

I have genital hsv2 and started dating someone who also had genital hsv2 a couple of months ago. I've had it for 18 months and he already had it for 27 years. I haven't been on antivirals because I only had the initial outbreak and 1 more mild one during this time. He was aware of that when we got into this relationship and was not worried about it but, unfortunately I believe I transmitted hsv2 to his oral area when he performed oral sex on me. Then he freaked out, I don't blame him...it was a bad outbreak. He now says that he is afraid of going down on me and doesn't know if we will be able to get passed that. This happened over the past couple of week and I discovered that he already started to check out the positive singles website again. I'm so sad!! I realize that there is a high chance that I passed this to him so now I have hsv2 genital and he has both oral and genital.

Another issue is that when we started to get intimate, I got tested for other sexually transmitted diseases and asked him to do the same. He dismissed me saying that he was very busy and was going to get to it "as soon as possible." I reminded him about the std testing after all this and he was still dismissive.  If there is one thing I learned from this is that from now on I will have a conversation about sexual health/safety before even touching them! It's crazy how it's so much easier to have sex before these conversations.

What to do?

Should I get on antivirals?

Should he get on antivirals?

Or both of us?

If I have an hsv2 genital outbreak or shedding and I don't realize it, can the other person get an outbreak when they are already positive in that area?

Is there hope for us? Could he just be looking at the site because he is confused or he wasn't that interested to begin with?

[TooHip1973]

If he already has genital HSV2, it is highly unlikely he would get the same strain in another location. The body, overtime, usually a couple of months after infection, build antibodies that essentially protect you from getting the same virus in a different location. I highly, highly doubt he got HSV-2 orally from going down on you.
You having HSV two Will not trigger an outbreak in him if he already has the virus. Is he sure his oral outbreak was HSV2? Did he get it swab tested?
You know, you asked him to get STD testing and he brushed it off. He’s too busy? That’s crap. If I were you, I would move on. If he’s checking dating sites, I don’t think he’s serious about a relationship.