Aa
chance of undetected HSV2 in 20 year monogamous
Hi,
Auntijessi a few months ago calmed my fears about possible long term chlamydial infection in a monogamous marriage for years. I understand the chance of that is nil if any now.
My wife did test positive for HPV via pap ( normal pap other wise ) recently. I understand that can be from a long time ago. Although it did shock us some considering how we have not been very sexual active but only with each other. ( we have been together since we were 15 year old ). We broke up for a few months during college where we both had one time encounters with others, unprotected. ( I guess one of us picked up the HPV during either mine or her one time encounter with someone else ). It was shocking because even Dr hook and Dr Handsfield empathically say most one time encounters don't lead to transmission etc. but I understand HPV is usually common and so this is prob the one exception to the rule i.e.: with just a few encounters you prob will get it.
this caused all my anxiety and concern on what else we could have etc. seems the only thing is HSV2 ( not worried about HSV1 could chance we already have that etc ) and she was tested for HIV and Syphilis during all her pregnancies.
neither one of us have ever had a obvious outbreak of any sort BUT I read that up to 90% of people don't know they have it so that does not seem like it can be very reliable to suggest you are not infected based on no outbreaks. I also so that you really shouldn't test unless you are having obvious outbreaks or you have had some high risk exposures etc.
so with each of us only have one other UNPROTECTED encounters which one or maybe both gave us HPV what are the odds one of us has HSV2 from that as well and is undetected? it seems must experts would argue not to test in our situation bc false positive are common with these tests. should I just assume the only thing we possible have lurking is hpv and move on with out thought of HSV2. also we were 19 at the time of the unprotected encounters and so was our partners we hooked up with. ( not sure if statistically that changes the chances one them had HSV2) neither on of us know what their risk of stds where at the time BUT we both had one night stands with them so could be safe to assume both of them had other exposures prior to us ( I obviously have no proof of that but I would doubt either one of them were virgins for example ) if possible I would like Aunitjessie thoughts on the odds of us either one of us picking up HSV2 and be asymptomatic all these years?
Auntijessi a few months ago calmed my fears about possible long term chlamydial infection in a monogamous marriage for years. I understand the chance of that is nil if any now.
My wife did test positive for HPV via pap ( normal pap other wise ) recently. I understand that can be from a long time ago. Although it did shock us some considering how we have not been very sexual active but only with each other. ( we have been together since we were 15 year old ). We broke up for a few months during college where we both had one time encounters with others, unprotected. ( I guess one of us picked up the HPV during either mine or her one time encounter with someone else ). It was shocking because even Dr hook and Dr Handsfield empathically say most one time encounters don't lead to transmission etc. but I understand HPV is usually common and so this is prob the one exception to the rule i.e.: with just a few encounters you prob will get it.
this caused all my anxiety and concern on what else we could have etc. seems the only thing is HSV2 ( not worried about HSV1 could chance we already have that etc ) and she was tested for HIV and Syphilis during all her pregnancies.
neither one of us have ever had a obvious outbreak of any sort BUT I read that up to 90% of people don't know they have it so that does not seem like it can be very reliable to suggest you are not infected based on no outbreaks. I also so that you really shouldn't test unless you are having obvious outbreaks or you have had some high risk exposures etc.
so with each of us only have one other UNPROTECTED encounters which one or maybe both gave us HPV what are the odds one of us has HSV2 from that as well and is undetected? it seems must experts would argue not to test in our situation bc false positive are common with these tests. should I just assume the only thing we possible have lurking is hpv and move on with out thought of HSV2. also we were 19 at the time of the unprotected encounters and so was our partners we hooked up with. ( not sure if statistically that changes the chances one them had HSV2) neither on of us know what their risk of stds where at the time BUT we both had one night stands with them so could be safe to assume both of them had other exposures prior to us ( I obviously have no proof of that but I would doubt either one of them were virgins for example ) if possible I would like Aunitjessie thoughts on the odds of us either one of us picking up HSV2 and be asymptomatic all these years?
COMMUNITY LEADER
What point would there be to test for that? It causes no harm, like HPV can, and if one of you has it, what would change?
You have listed all the reasons not to test - it's unlikely, false positives - that's a big one, actually, and it's more common than some experts say.
Please, get counseling. This HPV diagnosis has triggered something in you, and it has thrown you for a big loop.
You have listed all the reasons not to test - it's unlikely, false positives - that's a big one, actually, and it's more common than some experts say.
Please, get counseling. This HPV diagnosis has triggered something in you, and it has thrown you for a big loop.
18 Comments
I know I am working on getting counseling. I guess it stems from my trying to prove to my wife I have been faithful and only had one time encounter before hand. so I do not want anything else to come popping up that i have to try and reassure my wife that I am telling the truth. I had an affair on her a few years ago ( not sexual just was talking to someone else ) so then after that the HPV thing came up so my wife started wondering if I was being truthful about the extent of the affair etc.
I am getting into counseling just taking time to get an appointment etc.
can you just tell me what you think the odds are for us to have HSV2 with out knowing all these years and based on our sexual history?
I cant just come out and tell her i am concerned bc she will think if i have been unfaithful etc. i took me awhile to gain her trust back even though nothing sexual happen with the other person ( not saying that made it ok ) just trying to give a little back ground on why I am having all the anxiety.
On the flip side if HSV2 did pop up one day I would be back to trying to prove it wasnt from anything except the one night stand in college from me or her.
idk I guess it just is what it is and odds are in my favor that we only have hpv and nothing more. i guess we were just still shocked we have HPV since we both have each only had one night stand with others. I am working with getting an appointment to get in with counseling.
I am getting into counseling just taking time to get an appointment etc.
can you just tell me what you think the odds are for us to have HSV2 with out knowing all these years and based on our sexual history?
I cant just come out and tell her i am concerned bc she will think if i have been unfaithful etc. i took me awhile to gain her trust back even though nothing sexual happen with the other person ( not saying that made it ok ) just trying to give a little back ground on why I am having all the anxiety.
On the flip side if HSV2 did pop up one day I would be back to trying to prove it wasnt from anything except the one night stand in college from me or her.
idk I guess it just is what it is and odds are in my favor that we only have hpv and nothing more. i guess we were just still shocked we have HPV since we both have each only had one night stand with others. I am working with getting an appointment to get in with counseling.
thanks again for your time. I am usually a pretty realistic thinker but this as sent me down a rabbit hole.... sometimes I wish I wouldn't have researched everything because you start breaking things down and finding conflict info even from the experts depending on the answer. one minute the are telling some one if you don't have symptoms of herpes then you are more than likely out of the woods then the next post they are telling someone many hsv2 positive ppl don't know they have it.... so it can be challenging to figure out what applies to me etc
Your chances are really low of having hsv2. We don't have actual stats on how many people have it without knowing, and while some people do go years without knowing, it would be very unusual for you both to do that.
Knowing that there are false positives, then just go test. You can go order one online. Research them -some send a package, which you can get sent anywhere, like work, and some you pay for and go to a lab.
https://www.stdcheck.com/herpes-1-test.php - can test for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.letsgetchecked.com/home-herpes-test/ - must test for hsv1 and hsv2
https://www.healthlabs.com/herpes-tests - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.ultalabtests.com/partners/ultdirect/testing/categories/std/herpes - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both - do not get the IgM test
All the sites run specials at different times. Google for coupon codes, too.
Let me know how it goes.
Knowing that there are false positives, then just go test. You can go order one online. Research them -some send a package, which you can get sent anywhere, like work, and some you pay for and go to a lab.
https://www.stdcheck.com/herpes-1-test.php - can test for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.letsgetchecked.com/home-herpes-test/ - must test for hsv1 and hsv2
https://www.healthlabs.com/herpes-tests - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both
https://www.ultalabtests.com/partners/ultdirect/testing/categories/std/herpes - can nest for just hsv1 or hsv2, or both - do not get the IgM test
All the sites run specials at different times. Google for coupon codes, too.
Let me know how it goes.
thank you for the information and I will look into it for sure. I think first I am going to try some counseling and go from there. I think there is probably a higher chance of a false positive then a then chance of me having it for all the years not knowing especially considering only one time encounter outside of my wife in my life ( and hers ). I think a false positive would send me down an even further rabbit hole at this point which seems statically more likely then me actually having it? would you agree?
what are my odds for false positive vs odds of me actually having ( based on my life time sexual experiences ) if you could give me those odds i would prob be able to easily decide if I will test or not.
thanks again for all the info and if I do decide to test I will let you know results. thanks again you have been a major help calming down
what are my odds for false positive vs odds of me actually having ( based on my life time sexual experiences ) if you could give me those odds i would prob be able to easily decide if I will test or not.
thanks again for all the info and if I do decide to test I will let you know results. thanks again you have been a major help calming down
I apologize for all the anxiety related questions. Can you comment on last post and I promise to move on. Trying to make a calculated guess on wether to test or not
" I think there is probably a higher chance of a false positive then a then chance of me having it for all the years not knowing"
THIS. This is absolutely very true.
I can't give you actual odds, but yes, for sure, the odds are way higher that you don't have it and would a false positive.
I really hope you decide not to test. :)
THIS. This is absolutely very true.
I can't give you actual odds, but yes, for sure, the odds are way higher that you don't have it and would a false positive.
I really hope you decide not to test. :)
Sounds good, I think it’s safe to say I just need to move on the chances are to slim to be worrying this much! Thanks for all your help! If something comes up in the future I will address at that time. I just think I would have missed blister/sores all these years etc
Would not *
Agreed.
Take care. :)
Take care. :)
Long time since this post but have a quick question? I masturbated a last week ( without lube ) and where my thumb was I noticed a raw spot the next day. It never was a blister or anything to my knowledge. The next day or so it scabbed up and totally time frame healed in a few days. Of course when I started googling herpes came up. “Sore on penis” then turns into “scab” screams herpes etc.
It was right where my thumb was the day before when I masturbated. With my low risk in my life and years of faithfulness I don’t see how I could have herpes pop up now. Or this being my first time noticing all these years. Does those sound like it could be herpes at all to you and maybe I missed the blister stage and/or popped it while I was masturbating?
It was right where my thumb was the day before when I masturbated. With my low risk in my life and years of faithfulness I don’t see how I could have herpes pop up now. Or this being my first time noticing all these years. Does those sound like it could be herpes at all to you and maybe I missed the blister stage and/or popped it while I was masturbating?
My guess is that it would be from masturbating, and not herpes. Since the spot was on the exact location where your thumb was, I'd go with that.
I thought so as well. I never got tested bc of the chance of false positives and then going down that rabbit hole.
I would also think that after 15yrs of my last even chance of getting it I would have had an outbreak at some other point at least noticeable.
What are the odds of me having it from a one time unprotected encounter (in college) and then not having any obvious outbreaks, and also going 15yrs without transmitting it to my wife ( we never use condoms etc) and I would say I haven’t transmitted it bc she has never had symptoms to my knowledge. I know you cant say zero but would you say combining all those things together would put it at close to zero?
I guess we are still baffled that hpv popped up in our relationship with us not being very sexual active and been together all these years!
I would also think that after 15yrs of my last even chance of getting it I would have had an outbreak at some other point at least noticeable.
What are the odds of me having it from a one time unprotected encounter (in college) and then not having any obvious outbreaks, and also going 15yrs without transmitting it to my wife ( we never use condoms etc) and I would say I haven’t transmitted it bc she has never had symptoms to my knowledge. I know you cant say zero but would you say combining all those things together would put it at close to zero?
I guess we are still baffled that hpv popped up in our relationship with us not being very sexual active and been together all these years!
In other words with my situation what do the think odds are that I got it 15yrs ago from one time encounter, haven’t had any obvious outbreaks in 15yrs and haven’t passed to my wife in 15yrs with multiple unprotected sex all those years? Like 1 and 100 or more like 1 and 1000?
None of this has even been an issue for me lately but since I got this sore thing that scabbed up made me start questioning again. Even though the sore was the next morning after I masturbated and it’s exactly where my thumb was so should be obvious that was the cause.
Just want to hear your thoughts on the odds and that will make me decide to finally go test or not. Jsut don’t want to get false postive if you think my odds are only like 1 and 1000 chance then I’ll leave it alone
None of this has even been an issue for me lately but since I got this sore thing that scabbed up made me start questioning again. Even though the sore was the next morning after I masturbated and it’s exactly where my thumb was so should be obvious that was the cause.
Just want to hear your thoughts on the odds and that will make me decide to finally go test or not. Jsut don’t want to get false postive if you think my odds are only like 1 and 1000 chance then I’ll leave it alone
Odds of getting it from a one time encounter are low, and lower if it's protected.
The chance that you'd pass it on to your wife is 10% a year if all you do is avoid sex during outbreaks. The chance that you'd pass it on to your wife and you'd both be asymptomatic all this time? Low.
All that is assuming that it would be hsv2.
If you had genital hsv1, it is way, way, way lower.
The only way to know what this is is to get a doctor to look at it and see if anything can be tested. All the odds don't matter if you are the 1 in 100 or the 1 in 1000.
The chance that you'd pass it on to your wife is 10% a year if all you do is avoid sex during outbreaks. The chance that you'd pass it on to your wife and you'd both be asymptomatic all this time? Low.
All that is assuming that it would be hsv2.
If you had genital hsv1, it is way, way, way lower.
The only way to know what this is is to get a doctor to look at it and see if anything can be tested. All the odds don't matter if you are the 1 in 100 or the 1 in 1000.
Just confused on what direction to go now. Experts advise not to test unless symptoms are suggestive of herpes but would this spot I got clarify as that. Again it was right where my thumb was the day before and it healed up in about 3 to 4 days. Trying to just see if no exposure for hav2 for 15yrs, never had noticeable symptoms and I guess if I did have it I have never passed to my wife bc she has never had symptoms. If the odds are super low as in 1/1000 chance I’m going to roll with this spot being from the master nation being rough…… if you think bc I got this spot that scabbed etc sound like it’s a good chance it’s herpes and this is just the first time I have ever noticed then I guess I need to go test? If the odds are way to low then I don’t want the anxiety of false positive either.
What would you do? What do think the odds are of all this? 1/1000? 1/100? Trying to get a feel for how likely? Everyone’s use of words as “rare” can mean two different things.
I was past all this until I got this spot on my penis. And it kicked all my anxiety back up
What would you do? What do think the odds are of all this? 1/1000? 1/100? Trying to get a feel for how likely? Everyone’s use of words as “rare” can mean two different things.
I was past all this until I got this spot on my penis. And it kicked all my anxiety back up
If I had a dr look at it now it’s gone? It showed up last Wednesday and by Saturday is was pretty much gone other than the skin being a little off color
Also Wednesday night my wife and I had unprotected sex and I had that spot ( that was the day I first found it ) and to my knowledge she hasn’t had anything on her so it’s been 5 days. That another good sign tipping in my direction that it’s not herpes! I know it could still come up but dr handsfield states many cites “most” of new infections come up 3 to 5 days. Today would be day 5 and my wife isnt having any symptoms as of now
You have a history of being really anxious that you have an STI. I'm not sure why, but have you ever really considered talking to someone about it?
I can't tell you that it's herpes or not. You can let a doc look at it and see if they think it looks like herpes. If they even suspect herpes, then you can test.
Sitting and worrying, though, solves nothing. If you are still concerned, let a doc check it out.
I can't tell you that it's herpes or not. You can let a doc look at it and see if they think it looks like herpes. If they even suspect herpes, then you can test.
Sitting and worrying, though, solves nothing. If you are still concerned, let a doc check it out.
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
