People with HIV are more likely to pick up a lot of different infections, but and HPV infection isn't a sign of HIV. Everybody who is sexually active should be tested for HIV, but don't look for symptoms of this disease.
While warts may appear sometime in the future, this is not all that common. Many doctors believe that the HPV virus is actually cleared (as opposed to suppressed) for most people.
I know how you feel. It's a terrible feeling, one that I felt when I was first diagnosed earlier this year. But, don't worry. It's a very, very common thing to have. So, rest easy.
1) once you go 6-8 months without reoccurence, you can safely assume your immune system has suppressed the virus. This doesn't mean you're cured though; it means if your immune system weakens for whatever reason (sick, stress), warts can pop up again.
2) They say its a syptom of HIV b/c the immune system is suppressed already by HIV. Only if you get random clusters very quickly should you be worried. But, if you've been very careful, I wouldn't worry too much. Get a blood test to ease your mind. As for the pap, I have no idea, I have no experience whatsoever in that.
3) Just b/c you got it from him, doesnt necessarily means he cheated. He can have the virus lay dormant for a while before it comes up. But, he could've cheated..only he knows that and you're owed an explanation.