Aa
Non Sex intimacy
I am very confused over the skin to skin issue. Put simply, the lady I have been
seeing told me that she has been diagnosed with HPV, saying her ex was responsible.
She is very concerned about transmission (as am I), but she has been told that if
we wish to refrain from oral, anal, and vaginal sex and just caress and cuddle (as long
as there is no genital contact) there can be no transmission. She asked her doctor if
he would have a relationship with her under those circumstances he answered yes. What
is the common thinking on this type of contact with a loved one?
seeing told me that she has been diagnosed with HPV, saying her ex was responsible.
She is very concerned about transmission (as am I), but she has been told that if
we wish to refrain from oral, anal, and vaginal sex and just caress and cuddle (as long
as there is no genital contact) there can be no transmission. She asked her doctor if
he would have a relationship with her under those circumstances he answered yes. What
is the common thinking on this type of contact with a loved one?
Thank you for your all-encompassing reply. I feel that I need to find a safe manner to share some type of intimacy with my friend, and in doing so assure her that she is attractive to me notwithstanding the std that she has developed. Tenderly handled foreplay w/o genital contact seemed to be one way to approach the situation in these early days of a growing relationship. Thank you again for your answer.
Her responsible approach to having HPV is commendable. I hope you appreciate her for her strength and concern she has shown for you. Well, here is one take on it:
Ultimately it becomes your decision as to how to proceed here. She has done her part and if you decide to take it a step further hopefully she will be down with that without worrying too much. She is right and you are right to understand that as long as there is no genital contact there won't be transmission. We can go into details and nit pick about that one guy who somehow got warts anyway, but most most most likely you will be safe. I would want to know where the site of her infection is. Does she have abnormal pap for low risk hpv inside her vagina? Or has she had warts removed from her labia? How long has she been dealing? When was the last time she had warts removed? Most people clear the virus within two years. If it's been going on that you don't have too much longer to wait before she is def not contagious. If you have sex with her with a condom on,you won't get warts. They say condoms are only effective 70% of the time but I say this is only because some of the time the skin below the condoms extent is exposed and you could conceivably get warts down around the base. But the condom will protect you. So, if you decide for more than cuddling and I'm sure you will. I would agree on a type of foreplay/heavy petting where you don't have genital skin on skin contact and then you wear a condom and check it from time to time. If you agree on this boundary, then you can proceed normally in sexual encounters because you are both on the same page. For instance, I would feel safe enough grinding with both of us wearing underwear for instance, and perhaps with just her or me wearing underwear. Also, she could still perform oral on you or even you on her and you can def use your fingers and she can give you pleasure with her hands. The big issue is not rubbing your stuff together. Check out this post here that just came up: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Research-Question---HPV-Oral-Cancer/show/1467451 ;
I got infected a year ago and am in the process of clearing the virus still. I told my (ex)girlfriend about it and she chose to have unprotected sex with me anyway, and a lot of it. She to this day has never had a wart and as far as can be known is not infected. I had an outbreak two or three days after an episode with her and then got them removed and a week or ten days later resumed our business, still no infection. If only I'd been that lucky when I foolishly had my two encounters that led to my infection. Moral of story, I guess anything can happen.
Also consider this. If you two fall in love and really want a long term relationship together, perhaps this issue begins to dim somewhat. HPV isn't the end of the world and is just a nuisance to over 90% of those who get it. Even if you do get it, all you have to do is go into the derm to get them removed until you've gone 3-6 months without any warts at all. This could be once or twice or three times at a minimum or as many as fifteen times in two years (three years super maxed out for a few).
Anyway, do some browsing on the Ask An Experts section under STDs or STDs International -keyword HPV and you'll find lots of info to help you gain knowledge and understanding.
Ultimately it becomes your decision as to how to proceed here. She has done her part and if you decide to take it a step further hopefully she will be down with that without worrying too much. She is right and you are right to understand that as long as there is no genital contact there won't be transmission. We can go into details and nit pick about that one guy who somehow got warts anyway, but most most most likely you will be safe. I would want to know where the site of her infection is. Does she have abnormal pap for low risk hpv inside her vagina? Or has she had warts removed from her labia? How long has she been dealing? When was the last time she had warts removed? Most people clear the virus within two years. If it's been going on that you don't have too much longer to wait before she is def not contagious. If you have sex with her with a condom on,you won't get warts. They say condoms are only effective 70% of the time but I say this is only because some of the time the skin below the condoms extent is exposed and you could conceivably get warts down around the base. But the condom will protect you. So, if you decide for more than cuddling and I'm sure you will. I would agree on a type of foreplay/heavy petting where you don't have genital skin on skin contact and then you wear a condom and check it from time to time. If you agree on this boundary, then you can proceed normally in sexual encounters because you are both on the same page. For instance, I would feel safe enough grinding with both of us wearing underwear for instance, and perhaps with just her or me wearing underwear. Also, she could still perform oral on you or even you on her and you can def use your fingers and she can give you pleasure with her hands. The big issue is not rubbing your stuff together. Check out this post here that just came up: http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/Research-Question---HPV-Oral-Cancer/show/1467451 ;
I got infected a year ago and am in the process of clearing the virus still. I told my (ex)girlfriend about it and she chose to have unprotected sex with me anyway, and a lot of it. She to this day has never had a wart and as far as can be known is not infected. I had an outbreak two or three days after an episode with her and then got them removed and a week or ten days later resumed our business, still no infection. If only I'd been that lucky when I foolishly had my two encounters that led to my infection. Moral of story, I guess anything can happen.
Also consider this. If you two fall in love and really want a long term relationship together, perhaps this issue begins to dim somewhat. HPV isn't the end of the world and is just a nuisance to over 90% of those who get it. Even if you do get it, all you have to do is go into the derm to get them removed until you've gone 3-6 months without any warts at all. This could be once or twice or three times at a minimum or as many as fifteen times in two years (three years super maxed out for a few).
Anyway, do some browsing on the Ask An Experts section under STDs or STDs International -keyword HPV and you'll find lots of info to help you gain knowledge and understanding.
You are reading content posted in the Human Papillomavirus (HPV) Community
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