I just had a very similar experience (related to the HPV). I had a clear Pap in 2005, no sex since. HPV positive two weeks ago. I had the coloscopy today. They did biopsies and scraped just inside the cervix. He told me he was doing that ahead of time, so it was 'investigative' and not related to what he saw necessarily. He said he saw little for concern, except for a few blood vessels that were present. He thought they could me related to a cyst that I have.
It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be - but because I have very low blood pressure, I was pretty light headed afterwards.
I hope it goes smoothly for you.
I can only help you with the HPV, not sure about the other stuff going on except that it's probably not HPV related.
HPV is very common - high risk HPV being the most common. Most, if not all sexually active people have it or have had it at some point in their life. This abnormal pap could be from a HPV infection before you were married. It doesn't have to be a new infection, this could have been from years ago. Your immunity has been compromised either by childbirth, smoking, stress, and it's decided to come out and play.
Either you or your husband could have picked it up first but it doesn't matter you both have the same strain now. High risk HPV rarely affect men. It can, but it's really rare. There is no hpv test for men unless they have the wart bearing type, then it's determined by visual examination of the dr.
Get the colposcopy done. If they find any abnormal spots, they will do a biopsy and then treatment will be determined from there. For some people they just wait and see if it goes away, for others they perform LEEP. Either way, you'll be fine.
I'm sorry but I don't know about the other stuff going on with you. Sounds hormonal to me but can't be sure.
Hope you feel better soon.