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Bullies in Middle School
Hi Friends...Im frustrated and a bit angry my youngest child had yet another bad day at school was called fat ...fatty and things I cant write on here...he is a bit chubby..many in his school are some alot chubbier than him...His problem is he allows hem to bullie him he shys away...Ive tole him to say something back like yeah I might be chubby but Im not stupid and ugly like you...or arent you a little old to talk so mean and immature to people...grow up....I want to go talk to his principal hes afraid then he will be known as a rat fink and get picked on worse..
He is so sad it breks my heart.....his Dad of corse told him hes gonna have to kick some a&& if thats what has tyo happen and he gets suspended we of corse wouldnt punish him...hes 12....I dont know what to do its such an inbetween age......I was never bulllied...where any of you??? or your kids ? any good advice will be appreciated..thanks Cherie...and David thanks you too,.,,,he was crying about this today and I had to let him know hes not to big to cry its ok to cry and grown men cry too......HELP
He is so sad it breks my heart.....his Dad of corse told him hes gonna have to kick some a&& if thats what has tyo happen and he gets suspended we of corse wouldnt punish him...hes 12....I dont know what to do its such an inbetween age......I was never bulllied...where any of you??? or your kids ? any good advice will be appreciated..thanks Cherie...and David thanks you too,.,,,he was crying about this today and I had to let him know hes not to big to cry its ok to cry and grown men cry too......HELP
two things happened today....Rob went to the school to talk to the principal..who of corse was very appologetic...he called the boy "Yosief" and David down to the office after Rob had left...turns out the two had had a little fight earlier in the day...no teacher saw it but they told on their selves..Yosief ( the ring leader of the bully group) called david a fat a$$ and David got in his face and said the next time you call me that Im got kick your A$$ yep he swore though it would make his threat more tough.....the boy shoved David David gave him a right hook to the face....the bully cried infront of his bully friends...the principal mulled it over..He had called Rob bcak to the school at this point and decided Yosief will be suspended for 6 days for bullying, and fighting....David is suspended for three days for fighting...somehow the principal didnt get the part about David swearing that woulda been an extra day..so all hopefully is done...
Oftentimes at this age the child thinks they can handle it and it's under control and don't want parental involvement when, indeed, it is spiraling out of control and needs the school's intervention.
There is a zero tolerance for bullying in our district and even if you come close to crossing the line, a child will be spoken to by the guicance counselor and principal and calls made to appropriate parents if necessary.
Zero tolerance. Nothing less than that is acceptable or good enough for your son.
I'd go and have a face-to-face meeting with the administration and let them know you will settle for nothing shy of that.
Good info above, too
C~
There is a zero tolerance for bullying in our district and even if you come close to crossing the line, a child will be spoken to by the guicance counselor and principal and calls made to appropriate parents if necessary.
Zero tolerance. Nothing less than that is acceptable or good enough for your son.
I'd go and have a face-to-face meeting with the administration and let them know you will settle for nothing shy of that.
Good info above, too
C~
Cherie, how great that your son still confides in you. He knows you listen and if he gets the message that with self-confidence he will just shrug the bullies off in the long run, you will have helped him more than you know.
Also, since he seems to have a medical condition that makes him a bit heavier set than others, never mind time-consuming diets for now, just show him the posture of confidence with a straight spine, straight shoulders, firm steps and eyes that leave no doubt that he is the boss of himself. It can be learned and suddenly it becomes second nature. If the school has anti-bullying strategies in place, great, but that`s just a bonus feature.
My son had been bullied between age 2 1/2 and 3, which is a different situation of course, rather non-verbal, scratches in face, cut in ear and so on. The preschool promised to keep a closer eye on the attacker but what ultimately made a difference was: my son watched a documentary about the Orange County police at age 3 and was so impressed with the police chief that from then on he adopted the posture, gestures and way of talking he soaked up in the movie. He still uses these tactics at age 6 and nobody ever messed with him again. Sometimes it needs modeling of behavior and actions by a neutral person.
Actually, I practice anti-bullying tactics at work. The blamers, backstabbers, power-abusers, deflectors never pull their stuff on me, at least not more than once. I plan on letting my son fend for himself to be prepared for the sandbox behavior of grown-ups.
Hope you get through this alright. Communication will make it possible for you.
Also, since he seems to have a medical condition that makes him a bit heavier set than others, never mind time-consuming diets for now, just show him the posture of confidence with a straight spine, straight shoulders, firm steps and eyes that leave no doubt that he is the boss of himself. It can be learned and suddenly it becomes second nature. If the school has anti-bullying strategies in place, great, but that`s just a bonus feature.
My son had been bullied between age 2 1/2 and 3, which is a different situation of course, rather non-verbal, scratches in face, cut in ear and so on. The preschool promised to keep a closer eye on the attacker but what ultimately made a difference was: my son watched a documentary about the Orange County police at age 3 and was so impressed with the police chief that from then on he adopted the posture, gestures and way of talking he soaked up in the movie. He still uses these tactics at age 6 and nobody ever messed with him again. Sometimes it needs modeling of behavior and actions by a neutral person.
Actually, I practice anti-bullying tactics at work. The blamers, backstabbers, power-abusers, deflectors never pull their stuff on me, at least not more than once. I plan on letting my son fend for himself to be prepared for the sandbox behavior of grown-ups.
Hope you get through this alright. Communication will make it possible for you.
Cherie - I am so sorry to hear that your son has endured this! I am a middle school teacher and, unfortunately, I see it all the time. :( The GREAT news is that my school takes bullying very seriously. If there are any complaints or instances of bullying it is handled promptly and discreetly.
We actually have had more of an issue with girls this year...and girls can be RUTHLESS...so the guidance counselor and I have been doing counseling with the "Mean Girls" for several months now. It's frustrating to be sitting in a room with the 'worst offenders' and feel like you had an awesome break through with them...only to find out the same bullying happened later that day! UGH! It's disheartening. The truth of the matter is that many of these bullies have learned from their parents (or lack thereof) and it would take much more than a once a week meeting for me to change their lives.
I guess my best advice to you is to definitely talk to the school, teachers, etc...So many times I don't become aware situations until they have been going on for TOO long! Sometimes it's just as simple as moving around my seating arrangement or keeping a closer eye on hallway activity, etc...I also think it's a great idea to get your son involved in as many activities as possible to boost his self esteem. It's a tough situation all around. You're both great parents and your son is lucky to have you!
We actually have had more of an issue with girls this year...and girls can be RUTHLESS...so the guidance counselor and I have been doing counseling with the "Mean Girls" for several months now. It's frustrating to be sitting in a room with the 'worst offenders' and feel like you had an awesome break through with them...only to find out the same bullying happened later that day! UGH! It's disheartening. The truth of the matter is that many of these bullies have learned from their parents (or lack thereof) and it would take much more than a once a week meeting for me to change their lives.
I guess my best advice to you is to definitely talk to the school, teachers, etc...So many times I don't become aware situations until they have been going on for TOO long! Sometimes it's just as simple as moving around my seating arrangement or keeping a closer eye on hallway activity, etc...I also think it's a great idea to get your son involved in as many activities as possible to boost his self esteem. It's a tough situation all around. You're both great parents and your son is lucky to have you!
Sara I hugged him so good last night I tod him I love him and said theres a lot of people in this world who love you David some you havent even met yet ,,,,your life is just beginning your smart and strong dont let these bullies win...he smiled and said I wont Mom ....Im really proud of him for telling me....some kids keep that stuff in and end up in real trouble.....this to him is the worst propblem hes ever had in his life......I knew the place to turn to for help here.....see the variety of answers I got thats what I was looking for...You all are wonderful...Im officallly forever indebted and addicted to this site no matter how busy I get Im on here a 1/2 hr per day,,,
You will do the right thing for your son Cherie........Keep us posted on how it is going. Remember to give him that extra hug and tell him he is the neatest kid ever!!!!
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