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Things you'd love to say out loud at work!
Things You'd Love to Say Out Loud At Work:
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-ars*d opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
45. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
46. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
47. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
48. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
49. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
50. Don't believe everything you think.
51. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t.
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon?
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again.
11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?!
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. And your cry-baby whiny-ars*d opinion would be?
24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you?
25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left.
27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?
29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different.........
32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls.
33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1?
34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it?
36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done.
37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money.
39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent.
40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
41. Aren't you a black hole of need.
42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in?
43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning?
44. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth.
45. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time?
46. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own.
47. Have a nice day, somewhere else.
48. You're not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away.
49. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you.
50. Don't believe everything you think.
51. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring.
Lol, awesome list!!
This one applies to my workplace..
" 10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again. "
This one applies to my workplace..
" 10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again. "
My boss says things that put him in the worst light and then doesn't fix it.
"We have not been utilizing your talents" and then still does nothing.
"It's not just a question of commission but it's about where we want to take you in this company" after the 3rd time reminding him he promised me a raise in commissions 6 months before (oh, and still no raise)
"I'm sorry I haven't paid any attention to you or reviewed you but you're Trudie!" as a way of sucking up to me to get insider info on a competitor.
"We don't want to spend any money on marketing right now. We are concerned about the economy and the lack of leads though. We don't want to have someone with your salary doing the marketing work, we can hire someone cheaper if we want to." after I propose they let me do some marketing to get more leads and when I had had no work for 3 weeks. Better to let me sit than have me be productive and where are those leads going to come from?
"We have not been utilizing your talents" and then still does nothing.
"It's not just a question of commission but it's about where we want to take you in this company" after the 3rd time reminding him he promised me a raise in commissions 6 months before (oh, and still no raise)
"I'm sorry I haven't paid any attention to you or reviewed you but you're Trudie!" as a way of sucking up to me to get insider info on a competitor.
"We don't want to spend any money on marketing right now. We are concerned about the economy and the lack of leads though. We don't want to have someone with your salary doing the marketing work, we can hire someone cheaper if we want to." after I propose they let me do some marketing to get more leads and when I had had no work for 3 weeks. Better to let me sit than have me be productive and where are those leads going to come from?
how about, I see you had a big ol bowl of stupid this morning.
LMAO.......who lit the fuse on your tampon, LOL...I love it!
Most days I want to tell my boss..."Please...feel free to step in here and show me how to do my job. Oh...that's right...you don't know how." LOL
I love Dr. House! He cracks me up! But, he is a butthead! LOL!!!
You mean you don't say something like this at work on a daily basis?
Just ask -- what would Dr. House say?
Just ask -- what would Dr. House say?
Lost:
This attorney I worked for was such a mean-spirited man and I'm telling you when I said that to him - he didn't know what to say. He just stood there stunned. I am usually very quiet and respectful at work. He finally laughed, but not a real laugh, more of a nervous laugh. I thought for sure I'd get fired! LOL!!!!
This attorney I worked for was such a mean-spirited man and I'm telling you when I said that to him - he didn't know what to say. He just stood there stunned. I am usually very quiet and respectful at work. He finally laughed, but not a real laugh, more of a nervous laugh. I thought for sure I'd get fired! LOL!!!!
Those should be framed in every office!!!! LMAO
LMFAO.......
Love it helpinutah!
And yeah, you said butthead.....whats that all about?!?!? lmao
Love it helpinutah!
And yeah, you said butthead.....whats that all about?!?!? lmao
Or how about:
"Sorry, my crystal ball is broken today." I actually said that to an attorney once I worked for who wanted to know when the repairman would be there to fix our printer! LOL!!! He was a butthead! EWWWW, did I just say that!? LOL!!!!
"Sorry, my crystal ball is broken today." I actually said that to an attorney once I worked for who wanted to know when the repairman would be there to fix our printer! LOL!!! He was a butthead! EWWWW, did I just say that!? LOL!!!!
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