I am a 45 year old mother of two sons, the oldest one is 19 but wll turn 20 this month. He was in college but dropped out, met a girl (online through a game they both play), and he moved in with her in July of 2012, without my knowledge. I have always told my sons that as long as they stay in school, I will work as many jobs as needed for them to succeed and graduate from college.But if you are not in school or working, you are not going to get financial support from me, so this is why he lives with her. They live about 3 hours away from here and she is also "taking a semester off from school" and does not have to work because her parents pay for all of her bills and in that sense, they are supporting my son too. I am so disappointed in the whole situation. He is totally dependent upon her for everything, he didnt even take his car to her house. I have met her and she is very quiet and shy. She seems to be very "emotionally dependant" on him for her happiness.....
I am feeling very lost, when they visit I am happy and when they leave I just fall apart. He is my son, my firstborn, my world, and no matter how big he gets I still see that little boy that I rocked to sleep and the little boy who needed me. I should add that he left my home on July5th of 2012 and let me believe that he was going to his best friends house, so after 3 or 4 weeks of his being gone, I finally called him to say, I bet your friends mom is a little tierd of you by now, you should come home,..then he finally told me that he has moved to live with this girl in North Carolina. After an initial fit of anger, I calmed down, and I dont blame her for his decision. I just worry everytime he leaves here that i may never see hiim again. And finally to add on all of this my younger son is 17 and will graduate from high school this may, and he is already been accepted at his choice of colleges, so by fall of 2013, he will be out of the house too. I have always been the cub scout leader, the band mom, the chaperone, the committee helper & also chaired committees too. I just dont know why I am so upset about my sons leaving, I have always raised them to be indepenent thinkers and encouraged them to make their own way and to make good decisions. It's like I spent their whole lives preparing them to be out on their own and now I am just not handling it at all. Any suggestions or help would be appreciated.