Considerations to take when making a big decision

[amas]

Hi everyone.  Maybe there is some input out there to set me on the right track.  Let me know how you went about big decisions.  

I have three children ages 11, 9 and 3.  Before the third came around I was considering going back to school to be ready to return to work.  I wanted to go back to work when the time was right. (I haven't worked since my 1st was born).  Now here I am with this MS diagnosis since May and taking Copaxone for one month.  I had a tough first part of the year but am doing ok right now. My goal was always to stay home until the kids were in first grade.  So now I think, should I go back to work NOW because I think I can physically and may not 3 years from now. ???  I don't need to go back to work, I liked working before and it would get us closer to fulfill dreams we had.  

We had also been foster parents in the past.  In the last year and a half or so we have only done respite care because we were trying to be matched with a child to adopt.  Now our application is on hold because of my diagnosis.  If (and that is a big enormous IF), my husband and I decided to move forward with adopting, my neurologist would have to sign saying that he believes my MS is benign (as he called it) and that I could care for another child.  What doctor would do that?  Even if he did, what Social Worker would put a child into my home. So maybe there can be no input offered here.  This is my frustration I suppose at this too possibly taken from me.  This is one of those things that I identified myself with.  Something I wanted to do since I was  twenty years old. I was called yesterday for respite care for a 6 week old baby for one week in August.  It seems respite care is acceptable at this point with the agency but I just don't know if that's the roll I want to play.  

Well, I like hearing from everyone's experiences because I learn so much. If anyone cares to share any words of advice I'm listening (or reading).   Now off to take my kids to VBS.  

Anamaria

[sllowe]

Hi there,

Nice to see you!

Well, what I do when I have to make big decisions, is exactly what you are doing, weeding through these thoughts of yours!  My girlfriend taught me years ago to do the ol' pro's and con's list.   I don't do it all the time, but it has worked on occasion.

Physically, she had me write these down, and I thought it was crazy.  But, afterward we would go through them (she's highly analytical, and wonderful for giving the flip side of things and playing devils advocate).

Lets face it, you can't keep all of this stuff swirling around in your head, so from what you've given so far, it looks like this:

*MS dx                           -Currently feeling stable
                                      -
                                      -
*Work                             -purpose
                                      -enjoyable in the past
                                      -extra money for future plans/dreams
                                      -future is unknown w/MS and don't know
                                      how I'll be physically or mentally in the years to come

*School                           -Add feelings toward going back to work before the baby
                                      goes to school
                                      -Add feelings of wanting to go back to school yourself while
                                      you are feeling stable with MS

*Adoption                        -personal identity,
                                      (please put all your thoughts here, I'm
                                      guessing there will be many to jot down)

Anamaria,  If you decide to use it, please put the good and the bad thoughts, no matter what they are.  This is a very "personal" list.  Even if you feel your thoughts are something you don't want to share with "anyone." Put them on your list.  You can shred it! Once you've sorted through each one, blacken them out! Then shred it! lol.................

Wishing you peace w/your thoughts. If you don't have someone to play either side, or close enough to go through the feelings with - personal mail is just a click away!

be well,
Shelly

[jensequitur]

Personally, I think respite care is a good idea, because if your MS turns out not to be benign, you would be able to take time off from your obligations.

As to whether you should go back to work or not, that's up to you and your energy level.  If you're in remission and stay that way, there's no reason why you couldn't work.