Crazy moment: I envied a woman with forearm crutches.

[Nancy T]

(Undiagnosed 11 years here.) Walking one block from auditorium to parking garage last night, wearing unaccustomed shoes, and tired from a day of shopping and cooking, the pain (in my 53-year-old arthritic toes) and EXTREME strain in my upper leg and hip muscles were making every step torture. I saw a woman with forearm crutches waiting at the garage exit for her ride.

In a surreal moment, I found myself wishing I had those crutches!!!

(I have had progressively worse trouble standing and walking any distance due to severe strain in my upper leg/hip muscles; my PCP and a physiatrist blame a "muscle imbalance" due to my scoliosis, though the spine doctor said it wasn't due to the scoliosis--who knows. Walking sticks help a lot when I have to walk any distance, but I can't start being a cripple. But oh, how I envied her those crutches last night.)

There are many firsts in life, and envying someone with crutches was definitely a first for me. :(

[supermum_ms]

Hmmmm funny but out with dd the other day, she thought it quite funny that now I'm the one that sits on the floor, and she's the one telling me not too, how the wheels have turned lol. I have moments where the floor is so inviting, i just cant resist and others when i had no intention of being on the floor but heck thats where i end up anyway lol.

I'm not sure if envy is the right word but there has been times when i've been asked what my dx is, life would be less complicated with a dx than without, not being able to name it adds issues that i cant be bothered dealing with. If i try to be ambiguous it just leads to questions and often really stupid comments or suggestions so i've started saying "it looks like its MS but it may take years before i know for sure" I wish i didn't feel quilty about say it though! Is it envey or wishing I had the answer?

Cheers......JJ

[Nancy T]

Thanks again, everyone. Tim, I think you hit the nail on the head by saying that NOT doing what we have to do creates a crazy moment! :)

I am not too worried about falling (fortunately my balance is decent, despite constant low-level dizziness--I'm just careful); the problem is the temptation to sit down right on the ground if there's not a chair or bench I can make my way to!

I think, really, you guys are right... I should start just taking the sticks whenever I know I'm going to have to walk somewhere more than a couple blocks at a time. Maybe it's easier to explain than what I have to do now: pretend to stop and look in shop windows or admire the architecture of a building; decline to go see another attraction; pretend I need to sit and retie my shoe; or just jokingly plead old age.

The other day I even pretended to wait for a streetcar, just so I could sit on the bench a bit!! I couldn't even make it four blocks without a break. Eight years ago I was walking two miles in 40 minutes with my legs feeling like I could easily walk over a mountain range! And I was no thinner than I am now (50 lbs overweight). Sigh.

[maestro1959]

Let me correct a statement.  My forearm crutches are made by Rabl.  Rabe is a typo.

[MisterTimC]

Oops, methinks I should clarify just a wee bit. I can stand up, I just can't stay standing for very long. And I can walk, I just can't walk very far or walk with good stability. So, if I need to be on my feet for very long, either standing or walking, one or both of my forearm crutches are right there. And I don't feel at all bad about using them. In fact, using them to get around is a real necessity.

So perhaps you weren't having a crazy moment, I'd think that you were actually a very sane moment. Yes, it's horribly frustrating to realize that it's difficult, if not impossible to do some of the things that you used to do so easily. (I used to run marathons, climb some big rocks in Yosemite, and make diving catches in the outfield.) But life moves on and so must we. My big hang up right now, comes when I need to use a wheelchair to go to the store because there's always a lot of walking to find what I want and then standing in line. But you know, we have to do what we have to do. And not doing it creates a real crazy moment.

Best wishes,
TimC

[maestro1959]

I love my forearm crutches.  When I mentioned to my Primary Care Physician my difficulties with distances she said she was pleased to make anything available  to me to keep me from falling.  So, I use them whenever I know I will be walking a long ways or on ground that is hard to maneuver, like sand at the beach.

My are made by Rabe.  Their design is a little different.  The forearm ring is open.  It only grips the backs of my arms.  Also, the grip is eurgonomically designed. keeps my hands in the correct position, avoiding carpel tunnel problems.  To top it all off, the forearm and hand grips are lavendar.  Now, I am not a purple lover, but it has opened the door to a lot of conversations, and I get to educate people about Multiple Sclerosis.

Please, please get them and use them.  Let others be jealous of your wisdom to make the change you need to maintain your mobility and independence.

[RedFlame]

Nancy,  I just wanted to comment on your situation.  I know it's a bit embarrasing and humbling to need assistance such as the crutches you are looking at.  You don't need to tell people anything, it's your business.  You could just say, 'I am no longer able to walk long distances"  then tell them you don't want to discuss it.  Getting the crutches can prohibit you from falling.  That is a good thing.  

It is hard when we come to a place where we realize that our mobility is slipping away.  I know, I use a walker that has an emergency seat.  Canes are good too.  As far as shopping they usually have electric carts available.  

I just encourage you to look into some assistance before you fall and hurt yourself.  

Hugs,   Red

[Nancy T]

Hi everyone, thanks for the comments and sharing your experiences. I do have some walking sticks and literally cannot go on a longer walk without them, but people accept that--they just think you're "hiking."

But to take them everywhere with me where I might have to walk more than a block at a time... that produces surprise and requires explanations (not to mention it's inconvenient to take them everywhere--no free hands), so I avoid it. Now these days, even just doing stuff around the house, I am constantly grabbing the nearest chair to sit down for even half a minute.

I wish they had chairs in every aisle in every store!!

It might be easier if I had a diagnosis and could tell people why I cannot walk fast or far anymore. I use the "scoliosis/back" explanation and try to convince others, even if I can't quite convince myself! (I've had scoliosis since fourth grade and no problems walking until the last few years.)

Well, I'll get back to my prescribed exercises, and when I've done them two months straight, either I'll be back to normal or back to the doctor to say, "This ain't working!"

Jen: geez, that blood clot was scary!! I am glad you are home--and taking good care of yourself.

Patchouli: sorry to hear you have such a bad hip problem at such a young age. That stinks. My hips are supposedly OK--no arthritis in them, luckily.

Tim: I have always been able to stand up, it's just that I can't STAY that way a long time. Hopefully you are better now AND working with a good PT on your mobility.

Thanks also, Wobbly and Sumanadevii, for your comments. Part of my immediate problem is that Thanksgiving with 24 dinner guests and numerous house guests looms, and I am getting ever worse because just a partial day of activity seems to require two days of complete rest to recover from! I am really going to have to prioritize and strategize for the next two weeks, even though I'm taking almost two weeks off from my (half-time) job. It seems like even having one overnight guest--for whom I only have to wash sheets, clean up the house a bit, shop and provide dinner and breakfast--wears me out completely. Grocery shopping is a HUGE and tiring chore. I take a cart with me even if I only need two things--I need the support, plus can't carry a basket any distance!

I'm rambling, but thanks everyone for the encouragement! :)

Nancy

[MisterTimC]

During my first wave of leg weakness last year, I got a pair of forearm crutches because sometimes they were the only way I could stand up. As that wave was passing and I was feeling better, I mentioned to my Dr. that I was working at getting along without them. Wow, did I ever get the lecture about taking a fall and then I'd have big troubles with rehab. So now I don't feel at all bad about using them when I need them.

So don't feel bad about using what you need when the need arises.
  TimC

[jensequitur]

I've been avoiding the cane for several months.  I've had worsening weakness in both knees, and sometimes they fold up unexpectedly.  Well, I had a blood clot, and after three days of bed rest, the knees had gotten even worse.  So I broke down and got a cane.  It really helps when my legs aren't going to hold me up.  I also picked up a bathtub transfer bench.  In the shower things are getting a little dangerous, because my balance is way off, and I'm not supposed to fall because I'm on blood thinners.

So while I really hate the assistive devices, I have to admit that they make my life easier.

[patchoulired]

Hi Nancy,

I also understand your pain and frustration, and it certainly is not a happy place to be like wobbly mentioned. I agree with Sumanadevii... you should buy yourself a walking aid. I recently requested an MRI of my pelvis, and the doctors found early avascular necrosis... you better believe I borrowed a cane from my neighbor to help! Sometimes though, I find, that it just helps to accept that I can't do as much as I used to do (I'm saying this as a 27 year old!!!) and if I need help with a cane, or if I need to limit my activity, or have someone carry heavy things inside for me... it's okay.

Best wishes.

[Sumanadevii]

I would go and buy myself a pair and celebrate the freedom!!!!!  You don't need permission from your doctor to use a walking aide.  Life to too short to be in pain and if something that simple makes the quality of your life better...why not?

[Wobbly]

yeh..  I know how you feel, and it's not a happy place to be.

take care
wobbly