How I deal, How do you deal?

[Jazzyfizzle]

I read everyone's posts, and we are all so overwhelmed by the magnitude of our illness. It literally drains the life and will out of people.
My coping mechanism is my dogs. I found that I needed something just for me to focus on. Of course I love my kids and family more than anything, and my life revolves around them. But I found that I needed something that was just mine, to turn to, think about, be involved with, to turn my mind away from what my body puts me through (and puts those who love me through as well).

For me it is my dogs. I am a breeder/exhibitor and I can get wonderfully, temporarily, lost in pedigrees, puppies, conversations, studies, anticipation of events. Alot of the times I end up not being able to attend things I would like to, and I cannot participate to the degree that I want to, but I dont' let it hold me back. Many times I am present only by sitting in a chair, but I am in the middle of the activity and event, even sitting still in my chair (that someone has carried in for me LOL).
I do everything that I possibly can, if that means I am pretty much incapacitated for several days after, then so be it. I am living to the extent I can and not just existing.


I would love to hear everyone's coping and dealing mechanisms.

Hugs!

Jazzy

[cainer]

jazz!  i too have dogs! well they dont know it!  yourkies they sure help. my daughter has shelties- they are a very pretty dog!
jersey- hi!  welcome  we are here for you!   its your choice to tell them, they really would want to be there for you.  you need their support!  but  ya got us!!
     hugs!!!  cainer

[Lulu54]

Hi jerseypatty - I am going to copy what you wrote and start a new thread for you.  Lots of people won't take the time to read this older one and your news is very important.  

hugs and more hugs,
L

[jerseypatty779]

Yesterday I was given the news I never expected to hear and today the tears are endless.  Yet, I found this forum and thank you for the support given by each person who took the time to let me know I am not alone in this.  About 4 weeks ago, I also adopted a shiba Inu who was very neglected and the way it looks like we were destined to be together and I am grateful for the love and laughter she brings me.   I have not told my family about this disease and I dont know if I should?  Please tell me what is your experiences in talking to your familys about this and if I should let them know.  

[Jazzyfizzle]

Thankyou everyone! It is wonderful to read about you and know you even more.

Hey Rose aweome.. Shelties rule!   :))  The money situation is a tough one. I tried to think of so many ideas to try and find something to work on at home to help out. We did work on selling some things on Ebay. I never made much though.

Oh Doni... it actually frightens me sometimes, just how little brain function I seem to have now. I can't think of words that I want, and I dont' mean always large words. I can't remember people's names. One day I put one of my dogs in a crate in the morning (there was a reason, can't remember what it was) and I was horrified to find that later that day - there she was still in the crate. I really couldn't remember leaving her there, it made me sick to my stomach. Of course she was just fine, and probably wondering what the heck mommy was doing leaving her in there, but I hated it.
I love Sadie's dogster!  Love her puppy pictures also!

I have come to depend on this site so much also. I really look forward to sitting down here for a bit and just 'talking' to everyone. My husband is afraid that it will cause anxiety reading about everyone's illness, but I try to tell him that I find it just the opposite strange as that sounds. I feel comforted knowing I am not alone and hopefully I can say something small to help someone.
I always have the idea of a large post in my head, but you know how it is, it just floats away out of my head and I usually end up with small posts.

I love the names Moek (thumbs up!!)  I had considered naming a dog's registered name - Rum Runner. Gotta love it hehe  (Husband said no...dang)

Carol I thank you so much for your prayers. I know we can all use any help we can get. My Dad is the same as your husband. His way of dealing is to just pretend there is nothing to deal with. Sometimes I find it exhasperating. So I know exactly what you are talking about.

I find it amazing how the dogs are attune to what is going on. I have one out of my gang that is the same. This girl has even woke me up nights that my blood sugar is low. None of the rest do anything like it, but she does and I am thankful. I tell her she is my heart dog.
I am sorry to hear you had to give up your male TLynn. Its hard to deal with when that happens. ((hugs))

I had more but the brain has gone blank.

Take care everyone

Jazzy

[doni54]

I loved your post. You are such a very special person, I feel like I have known you forever.  I also have a 24 year old daughter who is a great joy to me.  My son is 21 (Aug 18), he is also a huge mamma's boy.  He is in college, but calls me no less than twice a day.  I never talk to either of them about how I'm feeling cause I don't want them to worry.  It doesn't do any good when I am having a really bad day cause they can sense it I guess.  Don't have any grand kids yet, but my best friend has three and you sound just like her when she talks about her babies.  She is not happy unless she has at least one of them with her when she is not working.

My husband is like yours, he loves me dearly, but we don't talk about what I'm going through.  He gets really frustrated with me when he tries talk about our business and get my input and I can't carry on a discussion cause my brain is on shut down mode.  

I have been meaning to ask if anyone ever has this problem:  I can be having an okay brain day, but if I start having a detailed conversation or my husband is trying to get me to make a decision about something or other I just lose all ability to think.  Maybe I'm trying too hard.  It's just that when I have to really concentrate on something it makes my brain just shut down and I am no good for the remainder of the day.  It is really frustrating and kinda scares me.

You are a great inspiration to me.  You are always supporting others no matter how bad you feel or what you are going through.  I know if you can be who you are while going through so much, that I can pick myself up and do the same.  Thanks for being who you are and for all the support you give to everyone on this site.

I feel the exact same way as you about this site, you are all a part of my family and I actually depend on you guys for your input more than I do my immediately family.  You are all always in my prayers.

Hope you have a pain free day

Doni

[grannyhotwheels]

I have a wonderful little (pug) dog.  She knows exactly when I need her and she's there.  If I'm hurting really bad she will lay right up against me and she wont move until I do.  She will even go to the bathroom with me.lol  I do love this little dog very much.  Her name is Maddie Mae, but unless she's in trouble it's just Maddie.  Just like a kid, huh.  

I also have a wonderful family who I wish understood a little better but they do try.  My husband does just about everything for me.  I know he tries very hard to understand me but he gets tired of me always complaining.  He's the kind of person that believes if you don't talk about it, it will go away.  You know what I'm talking about?

I have 3 great kids.  My daughter is 24 and she probably understands me better than any of the rest of my family.  She did work in a nursing home for 2 years, and the hospital for 1 as a CNA.  I'm glad that she knows a little about diseases because she does alot of things for me that nobody else in my family would.   She also understands pain.  She has seen it alot.  We are very close.

I have 2 boys who are 23 and 13.  Jake, my oldest has always been a mamas boy.  This has absolutely killed him.  He cannot stand to see me like this.  He either calls or comes over every day to check on me.  Zach, who is my 13 year old is my helper.  He's the one who lives here and during the summer when he's out of school he is my servant it seems like.  He will do laundry, dishes, vacuum, and fix my meals.  He never complains he just does it.  Although he has always been a daddy's boy there is'nt a day goes by that he does'nt come up and give me a hug with a big I Love You, Mom.  I  have very precious children.  I am very lucky.

I think my greatest joy is my 4 grandchildren.  Sammie 10, Caleb 7, Mariah 6, and Mackenzie 6mo.  I wont go into alot of detail about them because if any of you have grandchildren you know that no amount of words can describe the joy they bring to my life.  The 3 older grandchildren came into my life when they where 7, 4, and 3. but they still are my grandbabies and I love them like I have had them all of there lives.  I think they feel the same about me.  The baby belongs to my son and I am so thankful that at least every other day sometimes every day he brings her over for me to play with.  Even if I'm hurting my grandchildren can make me forget for just a little while.

Last but not least I have my friends.  There's my church who I love dearly and there is Brenda who is a God send to me.  There's Diane who through good and bad days she never forgets to call me and make sure I'm up and about.  And then there is all of you.  The ones who understand the most.  I spend a good part of my life right here with you and I would'nt trade it for the world.  We are all from different places and different backgrounds but it does'nt matter we still have the same thing in comman.  We are family.  I feel very close to all of you and I love you very much.  I pray for you every day and I call you by name to the Lord in my prayers.  Although he probably wonders what kind of friends I have because of the names I give him.lol  

I'm sorry this was so long but it felt really good to think of the good things in my life.  I don't do that enough.  I don't appreciate all that I have sometimes.  Too many times I only grieve for the things I don't have.  We should all try to reflect more on the good things.  Even through the pain and depression we are truely blessed.

I'll be praying,
Carol

[moeck]

The arthritis has slowed me down to the point that dogs and horses are no longer part of the picture except my eight year old corgi/lab cross who ran agility with me.  I underwent cervical fusion surgery on May 1 and about three weeks later we got a pair of kittens to keep me company.  Without Captain and Morgan (yup,named for the rum) I probably would have gotten a lot more depressed these past few months.
moeck

[T-lynn]

I cope day to day,but my dog 140 pound newfoundland is my buddy,but she a big baby scared of everything,sleeps through everything.Use to breed and raise them,but once I got sick,it got to be to much.My one female newfie developed cancer and I had to put her to sleep.Broke my heart.

After a attack 3 years ago my male(240 lbs) got so protective and aggressive if anyone came near me that I had to place him in a new home.I have 4 children and couldn't risk him attacking one of them.

But belle has been a great companion,we walk when its cooler outside and always at my side.If ya can get past the drooling.

I also go to the fitness center in the mornings,its an out,some days the workouts are very limited.

These forums are a great help,plus I have 3 friends that have MS,so I have local and cyber support.

[doni54]

Jazzy

Yes! I know exactly how you feel about your dogs.  My husband, son and daughter are the best, but I try not to burden them with how I am feeling.  When they ask, I just say I'm fine, and try to not let them know if I am having a really bad day. They know I'm tired most of the time and that sometimes I'm not very talkative, they just don't know that most times lately I just can't talk, cause the words won't come.

I have an 11 month old female blood hound, her name is Sadie.  I got her the Sat. after Thanksgiving and had planned to take trailing classes with her, but my health has been so bad all year I haven't been physically able.

She is the greatest gift to me.  She loves me unconditionally and is always there to give one of her most sloppy kisses (think lots of drool, yuck!).  She is very adept at knowing what parts of me are hurting.  I have a lot of problems with my ears and she is constantly trying to lick them when she snuggles with me. I know this sounds gross, but it touches my heart to know that she senses my problem and wants to make mama feel better.  No matter where I hurt she always knows and trys to fix me, when she first started doing this I was shocked.  Her intuition is uncanny.

As all of you, at times I get very depressed when I am having bad symtoms.  Sadie, my 4 legged baby, always knows.  She will try to get as close to me as possible, sometimes in my lap (this is somewhat painful due to the fact that she weighs 90 lbs).  She will actually put her front legs around my neck and lay her head on my shoulder like in a, "I know you're hurting, mama, and I love you" hug.  It really touches my heart at how in tune she is to me and always tries to let me know in her doggy way that she is here and that she loves me.

At bedtime I always have either severe RLS, burning & uncontrollable itching in my feet, awful cramps and muscle spasms.  She will get in bed and lay her head next to mine on the pillow, usually with one leg over my neck and just snuggle as close as she can.  I believe it is her way of trying to comfort me so that I can sleep.

There have been somedays during this year that I have just wanted to give up, and there has not been any reason in my life to smile. Sadie, being the comedian she is, can always - everyday - bring a laugh or smile to my face.  Somedays, especially here lately, she is truly a life saver.

Well, I could go on and on about my Sadie, but the bottom line is she is precious and an unbelievable joy in my life.

If you would like to see her picture she has a web page on dogster.com, dogster.com/dogs/530892, I think she is a real beauty. The dogster site is fun and lets people show off their precious babies!!!  I like to go there sometimes when I'm having a bad day just to look at some of the pups and watch the funny videos!  It is a real uplifting site and gets me away from my health issues, if only for a few minutes.

And as always I agree with Samantha, this site is one of the foremost reasons that I am able to cope with these health problems I am having.  Without all of you to talk to I truly don't know where I would be right now.  You people are the greatest!!!

Take care and hope you are all feeling better soon.

Bless you

Doni

[uk2]

Hi

not sure we have talked before. Im not dx yet get my MRI results tomorrow and have been a nervous wreck and not coped at all this week!! iv also been dealing with a amounting debt building due to me being off sick for 3 months!!

I have my church and my faith to get me through i would not cope without my little chats to the big man upstairs lol.

I also have my two dogs which are my life im just sad i cant get out and walk them at the moment two years ago i was running 5 miles a day with them ( running was so stress busting)  till i came down with muscle weakness and hip and knee problems. I have a staffordshire bull terrier and a black lab.

I have my family too and i love my three girls and my husband is very supportive.

This site is a way of coping too as i feel noone not even my family understands me but then i come on here and there are so many of us on here in the same boat i was just saying that in a post to doni and hope today.

God Bless

Samantha

[rose bush]

Hi I too have two shelties if not for them I would be very lonly. Your right not to hold you back. I hope I can come around and start living for me and not my sickness. I'm no longer aloud to drive so I stay at home a lot I able to get around just tiered a lot so I don't do much looking for ideas? Always on the internet worring about money with no longer working due to not feeling well trying to find out what is wrong with me. Dose anyone no what jobs are out there to work from home? I live in Barrie, Ont
I love puppies to I'm glad you shared your storie with us it means a lot.