Funny thing happened to me last night

[RedFlame]

I thought I would share something that happened last night in case it would give you a laugh.

Some of you know that my room is in an out-building a way from the house.  I have no restroom----so I pee in a trashcan at night and then secretly dump it every morning.  

Last night I woke up to go.  I put the bucket between my legs and held on to the office chair on one side and a side table on the left.  I have my legs straight out from my sides.  I couldn't get any pee out.  I pushed and pushed-----still no pee.  Then I tried relaxing as much as I could, that didn't work.  

I was standing up bearing down as if in child-birth and holding myself up with my arms.  Suddenly, the wheels on the office chair began moving outward.  I was able to stop it but then my leg started moving outward.  I tried to hop that leg back in but couldn't get my leg up.

I held on to the table to try to stabilize and was able to do so for about 5 seconds.  Then to my horror, my leg just kept moving and I couldn't bear the weight with the other leg.  I began the inevitable slide down to the floor in a big thud.  Then I couldn't get up.   I figured this was my judgement for laughing and making fun of the "help, I've fallen and I can't get up" commercial when I was young.  So, I prayed for forgiveness.  

Finally I was able to get myself back up and back in bed.  I was grateful that I couldn't pee since the can went down with me.  Sometimes the inability to pee comes in handy?

Red

[addicted2harleys]

Red-

I think I understand why you thought this was funny and maybe assumed that we all would, too.  In a lot of situations, like your living conditions, people use laughter as a coping mechanism.  They do it to survive it.  I can very well see you falling into that category.

You feel safe here in the forum, as you should.  Due to this, you feel as though you can speak freely, so to speak.  And so you did.  And since you have used laughter as a coping method, that is what you were feeling when you posted...and maybe assumed we all would, too.  

Sarah is absolutely spot on with her post.  When I read your post I did it with my mouth dropped open to the floor.  And I felt profound sadness.   I am really glad you posted it because it opened your eyes.  And I am truly glad you shared it with your counselor.  

The only part of your post that I found a little differently about was the "I've fallen and I can't get up".  And that was only because I found myself in that same situation a couple of years ago.  I was in denial about me needing a wheelchair.  I was home alone and I fell.  I was down for six hours.  And that commercial was going through my mind.  So I could relate to your post regarding that.  I learned a lesson with my incident.  I didn't run out and get a chair, I stayed in denial with that for another year....but I did get a cell phone that I kept on my person at all times.  

Anyway, before I took my break from the forum you and I talked a bit so I knew of your living conditions.  When I came back, I had forgotten about that.  :( When I read your post it reminded my mind and my heart fell because it made me realize that you are STILL living that way.  

In my opinion, you need to make moving your number one goal.  I know you love your sister and that there are good times in there, too.  But, as others have said, you do not deserve this.  And I would think that if you were to move from your sisters place, you might end up with more good in that relationship than bad.  Just my opinion.  

There are services out there to help you.  You know this.  :) Take advantage of them, gf.  Your counselor will help, I am sure.  For your health, it is time.  

Love ya,
Tonya

[RedFlame]

Sarah,  
The day after I posted this thread I went to see my therapist.  I told her what I had done and that I wondered why others didn't laugh.  She looked at me and said "there isn't anything about this that is funny".  She came to my home recently and was stunned even though I had told her what it was like.

I think I am growing stronger and am coming to a place of not fearing the yelling or jeers.  The difficult thing is that there is also good things in-between, nothing is ever all bad.  I hate being yelled at---and for no reason.

Saadbell,  I have heard of these types of 'toilet' hole things in the east.  There mere thought of these scare me.  I wouldn't be able to squat either, then the thought of a hose===ouch.  I do hope that your husbands family and friends will be safe and unharmed.  

Thank you for reminding me that I'm in good company.

Red

[Saadbell]

Red,
I had to let you know I truly understand, my husband is Egyptian and when we go and visit family in Egypt, well most of his family don’t have a western toilet, no they have what I call squat toilets, you know basically a hole in the ground and oh don’t forget no toilet paper you have a nice cold hose to clean off.  I know from a nasty experience that I can’t squat and go, just can’t, so here is my poor husband going all over this little town in Egypt looking for a bedside toilet.  Luckily we found one and that is what I used.  Your family sounds like a riot, I have some of that myself, I know don’t want people getting jealous of all the love we are getting, NOT!!! Of course my husband is now watching TV non-stop of news of home, so I understand.  Now my mother and daughter, different story, so never feel alone, just know you are in damn good company.  Hang in there girl and get you a bedside toilet, you deserve it.

[Sparkysarah]

I tried to see the funny side of your post as you wanted but it just did not amuse me as I felt deeply sad for you that you are living like this. You are worth more than this and as others have suggested basic sanitation is essential for your own health. Try not to worry what others think...put yourselves in their shoes and feel sorry for anyone who mocks someone with disabilities and be glad that you have the compassion and empathy that you do. It is their problem if they cannot cope with disability and make fun of it.

You deserve a special throne to use at night time so please get yourself a LUXURY commode! And also reach out to others to help with your living accomodation..I am sure with some hard work..it could be so much more comfortable. Ask someone else to try and find out who and what volunteers may be around locally.

With love and hugs

Sarah x

[RedFlame]

I will Addi, gonna see if I can do it tomorrow--thanks for your support girlfriend

[addicted2harleys]

Okay, Red, now that you have been gently reminded of your backbone, get with it and get that toilet, girl!!

:)

:)

[RedFlame]

Oh thanks Addi,

I know it's no OK.  Basically a person that mocks, makes fun of you and berates you is a bully.  I'm not being singled out, the bully/mocking is given to others too.   People that do that are very wounded and take it out on others but it's not OK.  

I think it's a good thing that I started this thread.  Maybe I was crying out for help and the support I need to take care of this.  I just need to confront if I am bullied about a commode.  It's a terrible thing to do to a sick person or anyone.  

Thanks Addi!

Red

[Sumanadevii]

Red, I wouldn't care what they think of you.  You need it!!!!!!!  It is dangerous to try doing it the other way.  You can fall and hurt yourself rather seriously.

And, please reach out for help.  There are plenty of small churches that have members that would be willing to fix your place up for you.  Just make the call.  You will be surprised and how many will volunteer to fix that roof for you and  help make the area livable.  

[addicted2harleys]

I am so sorry that you are having to live the way you are, Red.  :(

It is unacceptable for your family to mock you!  Do they know how you are using a trashcan?  I wouldnthink that that situation would be more reason for mocking than having a toilet?

Crossing my fingersnthat you can move out of there sometime soon...

Addi

[RedFlame]

I'm glad that some were able to get a chuckle from this.  

The reason I haven't purchased a bed-side commode is because I didn't want to give my family something else to mock me for.  It hurts to be laughed at, so I keep any vulnerabilities to a minimum.  

Ojibajo, you never know what other people are living with, regardless of their address.  The moldy ceiling is coming down, I shower with a hundred flies in the Summer, the laundry room is stacked with hoarding trash, mold and animal feces and I walk through a jungle of trash to get to my room.  Hey maybe it is a third world country.:-)  I am working on finding my own place to live, prices here are high.

I have a gallows humor that has helped me through some tough times.  Sometimes I sit and just laugh at how absurd this is.  

I am OK but banged myself up worse than I thought.  I can't remember how I fell but I think most of my weight landed on my right shoulder and hip.  What a mess.

Thanks to everyone for your concern.  I do think I need to go buy one and just take it to my room when they aren't here.  

hugs''

Red


So,  laugh with me!

Red

[figuerpa]

Red,

First off let me say, I am glad you are ok! That visual is funny, I couldn't help but laugh. I agree a bedside toilet would be much more efficient and safer to say the least. I hope you aren't sore from the fall.

Paula

[beema36]

Oh I needed that today. Sorry to tell u but I laughed do hard my dh looked at me like I had lost it completely. Isn't really funny I know but thanks for sharing and making me laugh.
Beema

[Audrey_M]

Red:

I got the visuals too and got a grin of "Oh, no!" on my face when I read of your misadventure trying to anticipate the next thing to happen. Yup, gotta agree with you that fortune was on your side that "sweet relief" did not come.

I, too, had to deal with the bucket routine while living in Antigua while the boat was undergoing a refit. At night, I could grab onto the mizzen boom and pee over the side, but it was the bucket for me in the daytime. Not fun.

I give you a lot of credit for roughing it the way that you are. Who would have thunk it?

Audrey

[Sumanadevii]

Red, I see no reason why Medicare would not provide you with a bedside commode.  Have you asked?  

Errr..betting you haven't but should.  It is a funny story but you could truly hurt yourself.

[addicted2harleys]

Hey, red-

You poor thing!  Kinda tmi but I got a visual and had to chuckle a little.  What else is funny is that the few times I have fallen, I have immediately thought of that commercial too!

Is there any way you could get a bedside commode?  I think I would be much more comfortable with you using one of those than a trashcan.  

Addi

[RedFlame]

no, I live way out in the woods--there just isn't any water or toilet in the building I am in.  Sometimes these things just strike me as funny, maybe because of the absurdity.

[Ojibajo]

Since you said you live in an outbuilding with no bathroom, I was thinking that perhaps you were maybe living in a third world country, but according to your profile you only live an hour and a half a way from me.