Aa
H-U-R-T
I have posted recently about how I have been in the midst of a very long, very intense "bout" of whatever-the-heck-I-have. This week has been among my worst in the 16 months (?? lost count) I've been dealing with this.
I am in so much PAIN this week - can't tell if I'm just that rigid for that long a time (even possible??). I have so little relief. My hands are even spasming. Legs, arms, parts of torso feel like cement. All my usual go-to's aren't helping (icy hot, etc.) My fatigue is unbearable. I went to work today looking like I'd been on a 7 day bender... look alot worse right now. I almost drove to the ER instead of the office, but I had a meeting. I usually am at my best in the morning. The room my meeting was in was soooooo hot, which only made things worse. Due to the nature of the meeting, I could not excuse myself.
Went to take my pills tonight and had no clue what to take. I've been on the same meds since April I think. So foggy. My DH having hard time understanding what I'm saying... that comes when I'm tired. I guess the fog does too.
Just needed to cry on your collective shoulders for a bit. It's taken forever to type this because I have to redo every word (I'm very anal about my spelling, etc), so I need to stop typing.
Thanks for listening. I know we have so many in worse shape than me right now, so I hate to add my burdens to the pile, but didn't know where else to go. Still trying to be brave for DH. When I'm this bad, he cries too. He doesn't need that right now. (he's doing rather well though, btw)
God bless
Penn
I am in so much PAIN this week - can't tell if I'm just that rigid for that long a time (even possible??). I have so little relief. My hands are even spasming. Legs, arms, parts of torso feel like cement. All my usual go-to's aren't helping (icy hot, etc.) My fatigue is unbearable. I went to work today looking like I'd been on a 7 day bender... look alot worse right now. I almost drove to the ER instead of the office, but I had a meeting. I usually am at my best in the morning. The room my meeting was in was soooooo hot, which only made things worse. Due to the nature of the meeting, I could not excuse myself.
Went to take my pills tonight and had no clue what to take. I've been on the same meds since April I think. So foggy. My DH having hard time understanding what I'm saying... that comes when I'm tired. I guess the fog does too.
Just needed to cry on your collective shoulders for a bit. It's taken forever to type this because I have to redo every word (I'm very anal about my spelling, etc), so I need to stop typing.
Thanks for listening. I know we have so many in worse shape than me right now, so I hate to add my burdens to the pile, but didn't know where else to go. Still trying to be brave for DH. When I'm this bad, he cries too. He doesn't need that right now. (he's doing rather well though, btw)
God bless
Penn
I've been talking to God about this for the past 15 months... it's the only reason I haven't gone postal or jumped yet! That's how I get through each day and tough out work no matter what I'm going through. I will take you up on your offer to talk by private message. Gotta chill out for a while - big inspection type thing at work starts tomorrow so I had to work tons of hours over weekend and today even though I'm in bad shape- wish I wasn't salaried:) Today needed help to get back to my desk from down the hall and then couldn't keep myself in my chair - legs wouldn't hold me and chair is a tiny bit slick, so had to be helped into a "guest chair". Very embarassing, but I made it through 10+ hours! Have some more to look over tonight at home too.
Penn
Penn
I just wrote this big long letter to you and somehow I hit delete or somthing and it just disappeared. I'm sorry about that. Basically I was trying to tell you that I'm going through a flare-up that is very similar to yours. I think I have a clue as to what emotions you are going through right now. Please talk to God about it. Hang in there and talk to me anytime you want to. Either privately or not.
I'll be praying,
Carol
I'll be praying,
Carol
GET SOME PAIN RELEIF----THE DEN MOTHER SPOKE OF THAT EARLIER IN THIS POST.
DON'T SUFFER!!!!!!!
ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOU ---PEPPY LA PEW?
T
DON'T SUFFER!!!!!!!
ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO CALL YOU ---PEPPY LA PEW?
T
Hi Girlfriend!
I am so sorry the spasms won't let up. I've had the same thing happen and like you icy hot is my best friend.
My spasms haven't been as bad lately, just annoying and a little uncomfortable. I have had times like you are having though, and it ain't fun.
Guess we'll just have to start calling you "stinky".....ha...ha...ha..
I hope you are feeling better today, I'm thinking of you.
doni
I am so sorry the spasms won't let up. I've had the same thing happen and like you icy hot is my best friend.
My spasms haven't been as bad lately, just annoying and a little uncomfortable. I have had times like you are having though, and it ain't fun.
Guess we'll just have to start calling you "stinky".....ha...ha...ha..
I hope you are feeling better today, I'm thinking of you.
doni
SNIFF SNIFFF Get thee to a shower and then to a doc.....
Hugs ( but not too close ) Jo
I like that hot towel idea. I use it for sinus headaches - never thought of using it for spasms. Excellent idea!
I have spent the past couple days shamelessly slathered in icy hot and icy hot patches, with no regard whatsoever for the nostrils of those forced to share space with my grumpy butt. Just putting more on as any area lessens in potency. As long as I keep this up, it is tolerable. I do need to "deskunk" myself long enough to go grocery shopping w/ DH. I think I can forego the ER for a while.
But you're right, I probably can't hold out like this till June - I'll lose all my friends... except you guys...you can't smell me from there, lol!
Penn
I have spent the past couple days shamelessly slathered in icy hot and icy hot patches, with no regard whatsoever for the nostrils of those forced to share space with my grumpy butt. Just putting more on as any area lessens in potency. As long as I keep this up, it is tolerable. I do need to "deskunk" myself long enough to go grocery shopping w/ DH. I think I can forego the ER for a while.
But you're right, I probably can't hold out like this till June - I'll lose all my friends... except you guys...you can't smell me from there, lol!
Penn
IT'S TIME THAT YOU LISTEN TO OUR RESIDENT " DEN MOTHER"
IF YOUR PAIN LEVEL IS AT THAT POINT THEN AN ER SETTING IS WHAT YOU NEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LIVE WITH CHRONIC PAIN DAILY FROM THE ARACHNOIDITIS AND LETS AD THE MS.
INTOLERABLE PAIN NEEDS TREATED SWEETIE,YOU HAVE SUFFERRED FROM THESE SPASMS FOR TO LONG.
SOMETIMES ER'S HAVE NEURO'S ON CALL,IT MIGHT BE THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS INTO THE NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOMS.
PENN,I USE TO THINK THAT ER'S WERE FOR THE VERY LAST RESORT, LAST WEEK MY EX HUBBY AND SON FORCED ME TO GO TO THE ER FOR RIGHT SIDE TREMORS(FELT LIKE A MILK SHAKE MACHINE) AND MY NEURO JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FROM THE LUMBAR ARACHNOIDITIS. THEY DONE A CATSCAN TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T HAVE A STROKE,THEY DONE A LUMBAR CATSCAN,ALL STABLE.
THE FOLLOWING NIGHT EX HUBBY TOOK ME TO A DIFFERENT ER(I WAS FORCED AND NOT HAPPY) MY TREMORS INCREASED,CAUSING EXTREME PAIN.
THE ER NEURO DONE MANY NEUROLOGICAL TEST,IT WAS ANOTHER MS ATTACK,THE MS SPECIALIST ASSOCIATED WITH THIS HOSPITAL TOOK MY HISTORY AND THE MULTIPLE ATTACKS SINCE OCTOBER,HE RAN SOLU-MEDROL 1500 MGS IN 15 MINUTES TO SHOCK MY SYSTEM,A SHOCK WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT,IT STOPPED THE TREMORS.MY RIGHT EYE VISION IMPROVED AND THE L'HERMITES SUBSIDED.
MY POINT IS ,EVEN BEING FORCED TO THE ER'S, I WAS TREATED AGRESSIVELY AND IT HELPED,IT REDUCED LINGERING SYMPTOMS.
YOU NEED TO BE TREATED,YOU NEED TO BE PAIN FREE,YOU NEEDED TO LISTEN TO YOUR FIRST INSTINCT.
PENN, WITH MY SPASMS I HAVE ,I FOUND THAT IF I TAKE A MOIST TOWEL AND HEAT IT UP IN THE MICRO WAVE AND PUT IT ON THE SPAZZING AREA IT REDUSES THE MUSCLE TIGHTNESS.
PENN , PLEASE GET SOME HELP WITH THE MUSVLE SPAZZING PAIN,YA GOT HUBBY FEELING BETTER,NOW YOU NEED TO GET WELL.
I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY AND WORRY ABOUT YOU AND THE AMOUNT AND THE EXTENT OF YOU SPASMS.BE GOOD TO YOURSELF AND GET SOME RELEIF,IF ITS FROM THE ER ,THEN SO BE IT.
YOU CAN'T WAIT UNTIL JUNE 20TH.
T-LYNN
IF YOUR PAIN LEVEL IS AT THAT POINT THEN AN ER SETTING IS WHAT YOU NEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LIVE WITH CHRONIC PAIN DAILY FROM THE ARACHNOIDITIS AND LETS AD THE MS.
INTOLERABLE PAIN NEEDS TREATED SWEETIE,YOU HAVE SUFFERRED FROM THESE SPASMS FOR TO LONG.
SOMETIMES ER'S HAVE NEURO'S ON CALL,IT MIGHT BE THE ONE THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS INTO THE NEUROLOGICAL SYMPTOMS.
PENN,I USE TO THINK THAT ER'S WERE FOR THE VERY LAST RESORT, LAST WEEK MY EX HUBBY AND SON FORCED ME TO GO TO THE ER FOR RIGHT SIDE TREMORS(FELT LIKE A MILK SHAKE MACHINE) AND MY NEURO JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FROM THE LUMBAR ARACHNOIDITIS. THEY DONE A CATSCAN TO MAKE SURE I DIDN'T HAVE A STROKE,THEY DONE A LUMBAR CATSCAN,ALL STABLE.
THE FOLLOWING NIGHT EX HUBBY TOOK ME TO A DIFFERENT ER(I WAS FORCED AND NOT HAPPY) MY TREMORS INCREASED,CAUSING EXTREME PAIN.
THE ER NEURO DONE MANY NEUROLOGICAL TEST,IT WAS ANOTHER MS ATTACK,THE MS SPECIALIST ASSOCIATED WITH THIS HOSPITAL TOOK MY HISTORY AND THE MULTIPLE ATTACKS SINCE OCTOBER,HE RAN SOLU-MEDROL 1500 MGS IN 15 MINUTES TO SHOCK MY SYSTEM,A SHOCK WAS AN UNDERSTATEMENT,IT STOPPED THE TREMORS.MY RIGHT EYE VISION IMPROVED AND THE L'HERMITES SUBSIDED.
MY POINT IS ,EVEN BEING FORCED TO THE ER'S, I WAS TREATED AGRESSIVELY AND IT HELPED,IT REDUCED LINGERING SYMPTOMS.
YOU NEED TO BE TREATED,YOU NEED TO BE PAIN FREE,YOU NEEDED TO LISTEN TO YOUR FIRST INSTINCT.
PENN, WITH MY SPASMS I HAVE ,I FOUND THAT IF I TAKE A MOIST TOWEL AND HEAT IT UP IN THE MICRO WAVE AND PUT IT ON THE SPAZZING AREA IT REDUSES THE MUSCLE TIGHTNESS.
PENN , PLEASE GET SOME HELP WITH THE MUSVLE SPAZZING PAIN,YA GOT HUBBY FEELING BETTER,NOW YOU NEED TO GET WELL.
I THINK OF YOU EVERYDAY AND WORRY ABOUT YOU AND THE AMOUNT AND THE EXTENT OF YOU SPASMS.BE GOOD TO YOURSELF AND GET SOME RELEIF,IF ITS FROM THE ER ,THEN SO BE IT.
YOU CAN'T WAIT UNTIL JUNE 20TH.
T-LYNN
Heck, the tough girl was still in effect until within the past year, lol! Definitely no hero though. Just fiercely independent - still am darnit!
Penn
Penn
Penn, do you think the doctor who said MS might have been a resident? If so, she would fit your description of not being listened to or getting any vote in your diagnosis.
Your description of yourself sounds like you were a "hero child" when you were growing up, never wanting to need anything from anyone and being as self sufficient as possible. But things change and you need help and nurturing. We can help with the prayers and support!!
Elaine
Your description of yourself sounds like you were a "hero child" when you were growing up, never wanting to need anything from anyone and being as self sufficient as possible. But things change and you need help and nurturing. We can help with the prayers and support!!
Elaine
OK so now I'm crying (was crying earlier from laughing @ Doni's post, now a different cry). Thanks so much for the support. I always feel like everybody has so much more to deal with than I do, and I feel ike I really have nothing to complain about. I made it through work another day, so that's an accomplishment. Feel sorry for my staff; can't let them down just because I have felt like cr*p for the past YEAR. They need my full support, which I hope I am still giving, but it truly IS all I have. I'm exhausted when I get home.
I don't know what I'd do without this astounding group of people on this forum. I had always fancied myself the tough girl, people in my life come to me for help, so if I need help I feel like a whimp. I think that's a mom thing - a woman thing in general. No offense to our tough guys on the forum - they're amazing too.
Feeling like I painted myself into a corner and don't know where to go from here. Trying to find that doc is a good idea. They have many of the docs pix posted on the website. Maybe she's there. I think I'd recognize her.
I need all the prayers I can get, so thanks for that too.
Penn
I don't know what I'd do without this astounding group of people on this forum. I had always fancied myself the tough girl, people in my life come to me for help, so if I need help I feel like a whimp. I think that's a mom thing - a woman thing in general. No offense to our tough guys on the forum - they're amazing too.
Feeling like I painted myself into a corner and don't know where to go from here. Trying to find that doc is a good idea. They have many of the docs pix posted on the website. Maybe she's there. I think I'd recognize her.
I need all the prayers I can get, so thanks for that too.
Penn
Hi Penn,
What a miserable time you are having of this **** . Do you really think there are members who are having a much harder time of it than you right now. If you think you shouldn't add to the pile of people in need , who does qualify ? I could never come here with a complaint. I feel my stuff is rough but not to the extent you're describing . We all say , all the time ( you included ) COME HERE FOR ANYTHING . WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. and that means Penn too. :))
Penn, don't you know how much these people here love you .. I have read almost everything , and I can tell you straight out, its VERY clear, that these forum members have you cuddled in their hearts and would do anything for you. Let them!
Had an idea , the neuro doc that said MS., can you call her at the CCF, If you don't have her name most of these places have employee lists on their web sights. tell her she's the only one who's listening and you need some help right now , today...MEDS. pain and spasms.
Sending healing light and prayer ( watch out for the black ice )
Jo
What a miserable time you are having of this **** . Do you really think there are members who are having a much harder time of it than you right now. If you think you shouldn't add to the pile of people in need , who does qualify ? I could never come here with a complaint. I feel my stuff is rough but not to the extent you're describing . We all say , all the time ( you included ) COME HERE FOR ANYTHING . WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. and that means Penn too. :))
Penn, don't you know how much these people here love you .. I have read almost everything , and I can tell you straight out, its VERY clear, that these forum members have you cuddled in their hearts and would do anything for you. Let them!
Had an idea , the neuro doc that said MS., can you call her at the CCF, If you don't have her name most of these places have employee lists on their web sights. tell her she's the only one who's listening and you need some help right now , today...MEDS. pain and spasms.
Sending healing light and prayer ( watch out for the black ice )
Jo
Heather, you are such a doll. Such a rock for everybody.
I usually use icy hot then wrap the offending body part in a heating pad, but there are SO many offending parts right now. I'm picking the worse areas to "treat", but it's not working anyway - it usually helps quite a bit. That's what has me kinda scared. My standby's aren't helping.
I couldn't get an initial appt w/ the new neuro until June 20-something. My PCP has admitted he has no clue what else he can do for me until then. He wants to help, but doesn't know how. CCF was a waste of time and LOTS of money. I feel like the girl without a country - nowhere to go. No one to call.
The 2 neuros said they don't think it's neruological & sent me to other specialties, who all said this is neurological, why did they semd you here? One neuro @ CCF said MS, but the other said no. Her input didn't even make it into the report - not even her name, like she wasn't even there.
I got a bit of sleep last night, so maybe today will be a bit better. Only sleep I've been getting is dropping like a rock for an hour after barely making it through work.
Speaking of Work, I need to go brave the ice storm and get there.
Thanks for listening again
Penn
I usually use icy hot then wrap the offending body part in a heating pad, but there are SO many offending parts right now. I'm picking the worse areas to "treat", but it's not working anyway - it usually helps quite a bit. That's what has me kinda scared. My standby's aren't helping.
I couldn't get an initial appt w/ the new neuro until June 20-something. My PCP has admitted he has no clue what else he can do for me until then. He wants to help, but doesn't know how. CCF was a waste of time and LOTS of money. I feel like the girl without a country - nowhere to go. No one to call.
The 2 neuros said they don't think it's neruological & sent me to other specialties, who all said this is neurological, why did they semd you here? One neuro @ CCF said MS, but the other said no. Her input didn't even make it into the report - not even her name, like she wasn't even there.
I got a bit of sleep last night, so maybe today will be a bit better. Only sleep I've been getting is dropping like a rock for an hour after barely making it through work.
Speaking of Work, I need to go brave the ice storm and get there.
Thanks for listening again
Penn
You certainly must feel that there is no light at the end of the tunnel.
I have had spasms that didn't seem to go away. I could feel the continuious tightening in the muscle. I know that people with MS or the like should not use heat, but I will take a heating pad and put it on the highest setting that I can tolerate and that helps to ease the spasm with some massage. My Neuro says that sudden, acute pain can be helped with ice. You need to find out what works for you.
I know you are scared. Of course you are. You just want to know when it will all end or even if there is an end. It will come to an end Penn. When it does, you need to get things lined up, for the next possible flair-up. Medications for spasms, something for the pain and maybe my suggestion of heat and massage or icing the area. Whichever works for you.
I have been where you are, and I know how close you are to feeling like you want to pull all your hair out. I wish there was the slightest thing I could do for you to lessen your suffering. If pray helps for you, then that is what I do willingly and with pleasure.
Let me know if there is anything I can do...even if it's only to LISTEN. I DO understand and I DO feel your agony.
BIG ((((HUGS))))) but gentle ones, so I don't make your pain worse....God love you sweetheart!
Heather
I have had spasms that didn't seem to go away. I could feel the continuious tightening in the muscle. I know that people with MS or the like should not use heat, but I will take a heating pad and put it on the highest setting that I can tolerate and that helps to ease the spasm with some massage. My Neuro says that sudden, acute pain can be helped with ice. You need to find out what works for you.
I know you are scared. Of course you are. You just want to know when it will all end or even if there is an end. It will come to an end Penn. When it does, you need to get things lined up, for the next possible flair-up. Medications for spasms, something for the pain and maybe my suggestion of heat and massage or icing the area. Whichever works for you.
I have been where you are, and I know how close you are to feeling like you want to pull all your hair out. I wish there was the slightest thing I could do for you to lessen your suffering. If pray helps for you, then that is what I do willingly and with pleasure.
Let me know if there is anything I can do...even if it's only to LISTEN. I DO understand and I DO feel your agony.
BIG ((((HUGS))))) but gentle ones, so I don't make your pain worse....God love you sweetheart!
Heather
So sorry this bout is lasting so long. Go to ER or PCP. You shouldn't have to suffer all the time. It won't help figure out the problem, but I'm a firm believer in the "Drugs R Us" group. If you need them, take them! Hang in there girl....Spring is coming...Maggie
ARE these spasms if they're not letting up at all? That's what I'm not sure of. I feel like a walking statue, and not always a walking one, lol. I'm no tsure I've ever felt this bad this long. Kinda scared.
Penn
Penn
I know it sounds ridiculous, but so many have gone to the ER and been treated like hypochondriacs. When I went months ago having difficulty breathing, I felt like that - turned out I had asthma and didn't know it.
I have a thing about ER's I guess. I feel like you need to be on death's door to go there, you know what I mean. I know someone needs to see them, but figure they'll go away by the time I get there - although it has been hanging in there WAY longer than usual. I'll think about it, I really will.
Thanks for the kick in the pants. I need one every now and then
Penn
I have a thing about ER's I guess. I feel like you need to be on death's door to go there, you know what I mean. I know someone needs to see them, but figure they'll go away by the time I get there - although it has been hanging in there WAY longer than usual. I'll think about it, I really will.
Thanks for the kick in the pants. I need one every now and then
Penn
Can you take the day off tomorrow?? Can you get in to the PCP first thing in the morning if you do not want to go to the ER tonite??
You do need to get a doctor to be able to see you like this. The doctor needs to know this is urgent. As a spouse of someone who has bouts of very bad back and foot pain..it is very hard to see your spouse suffer. I have an idea of what your husband is going through.
Please, Penn. You do not want to go into the weekend with this problem..
Elaine
You do need to get a doctor to be able to see you like this. The doctor needs to know this is urgent. As a spouse of someone who has bouts of very bad back and foot pain..it is very hard to see your spouse suffer. I have an idea of what your husband is going through.
Please, Penn. You do not want to go into the weekend with this problem..
Elaine
I agree w/ Quix! You need some documentation of those spasms and also some relief from the pain. You are going to be no good to your hubbie if you can't take care of you first. Please consider going!
I will be thinking about you!
Hugs,
Kristin
I will be thinking about you!
Hugs,
Kristin
If you almost went to the ER this am and you're worse now - YOU NEED TO GO TO THE ER NOW. The stress on your husband is worse seeing you suffer without being able to help. Going to the ER is DOING something. and I think you need someone to see you in this state. A doctor needs to see these spasms!
Quix
Quix
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