I really am here, really

[Quixotic1]

I want to apologize for sinking out of sight recently.  I've slipped into one of my periods when I sleep all day and get nothing done, then sit and feel sad and guilty for it.  I often wish that I was a beacon of bright light for MS, but that really isn't the case.  So, right now I am racing to get my extended tax return in (three more days).  

I think of you all and will be back when I wake up, get more anti-depressants and/or get my panties out from between my toes.

Update:  The kitchen still stinks, the baby raccoons are growing and ravenous, the hummingbirds chatter at us when the feeder goes dry.  Our winter weather has set in and the trees are still 95% green.  It's nice and cool.  I'm still pumping iron, but not as often as I should.  The ankle still hurts and the other has developed arthritis.

Oh, pooh....I hate being unproductive.

Quix the Quashed

[kelbell2]

I am so glad to hear that other people sleep for weeks all the time, i thought i was a piece of crap. Now I literally cant shut my eyes, it never ends.

Ok, the raccoon thing, do you really have them, are they pets or just hanging out. I have a pet possum, i am not kidding, his name is Willie, he was a injured rehab i had that could not be returned to the wild. Im not crazy i just love them all. They are actually very intelligent little critters you just got to get past the tail.

I am new here but i have already discovered you are highly favored and been many peoples salvation, i bet there is a special place upstairs for you. I love to give back i will just be glad when I can ! thx, Kelly

[candy158]

You'll get through it Quix..... but, you are funny.!!   Heh, I am always being told that the dust will be there long after us, I don't know if this helps... with your racoon situation  LOL ..

Hoping you can wake up soon, and enjoy the dust, and remember that it doesn't matter, just as quickly as you get rid of, the darn stuff comes right back, so, sleep my friend, and don't worry, there may be a big wind coming your way, and you won't need to worry about the dust and stuff, it will be taken care of, and you can sit quietly, wondering if you got up in the night and sleep cleaned !!!  LOL ...
enjoy your tea, and put your feet up, ...

take care,
Candy

[WeakButStrongInside]

Hey, Quix!  Welcome back!!  And no apology needed:  Thank God you're back!!!  I don't come here very often (because, like you, I've been "busy" over the past year doin' nuttin' but tripping over myself, spacing out, and forgetting how to log in here).  However, I did lament your absence and have worried about you lots!  See, I love your humor and reading all your hilarious mishaps.  And Quix you certainly were a "Beacon" of the brightest light possible for me - pointing me finally in the right direction where I was able to get some answers about my symptoms (though I am still denied that elusive "official" CDC diagnosis). Anyhoo, I apologize to everyone here for my corny and embarrassing new user name below:  What the heck was I smoking when I chose that one???  I am really WAF, but changed my user name because, with my ever-present cane, I don't fall much anymore - though I wobble lots.  Oh well, can I go back to being just WAF???  I'm sure not feeling very strong inside (or outside) today.  But am thrilled you're back Quix!  Keep the posts coming!!  We need you here!!  God bless you!

[Deludel]

I'm new here, have been appropriately welcomed by all, and have appreciated your posts that go back many years.

I wanted to note, you said:

"I often wish that I was a beacon of bright light for MS, but that really isn't the case."

Give yourself a break, woman. You're human. And you HAVE been a beacon when you were feeling up to the task. Your contributions, from several years ago even, have given me light .. so while you were sleeping, your light was still shining brightly. On the flip side -- I think that showing that "Even Quix!" has dark days, makes us all feel human and NORMAL (dontchya love that word?) on our own dark days.

Carry on .. Be well, whatever that means to you. I hope someone is there to shine the light for you.

Oh, and I couldn't help but think of this song:
Sugarland - Shine The Light

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km98jsSi9gM


Lyrics:
When you walk into the edge of those
Dark and lonely woods
And when I ask how was your day
And you answer, "Not so good"

And when nothing seems to be working out
Quite the way it should, I will shine the light

And when the skies up above you fill
With gray and stormy clouds
And there's not a single face you know
In the maddening crowd

When you know that you don't make your way
But you just can't see how, I will shine the light

I will shine the light, I will shine the light
I will hold you in my arms
Until everything's alright, I will shine the light

And when your worries, they won't let you sleep
And rob you of your days
And you've looked in all directions
But you still you can't find your way

Oh, when you just need someone to remind you
That it's all gonna be okay, I will shine the light

I will shine the light, I will shine the light
When you're staring down your demons
Weighing in your darkest night, I will shine the light

Sometimes we jump into the great unknown
Sorrows, we all will have to walk alone
But waiting there in the end is a heart that calls you a friend
That's me, clapping the loudest, welcoming you home

So when your heart is heavy like a stone
From carrying its load
And you look into the mirror
And see someone you don't know

Oh, when the shadows are closing in on you
Like a hand around your throat
I will shine the light, I will shine the light

When you've given into your fears
When you've lost your will to fight
Let me know what I can do
Let me try to make it right

And I will shine the light, I will shine the light

Songwriters
Jennifer Nettles; Undetermined;Kristian Bush

Published by
JENNIFER NETTLES PUBLISHING

[Jifr]

Ditto.  :-)

[fortywhat2]

Welcome back.. Although I'm not here often I do love seeing familiar members :)
Debbie
~live as if all your dreams came true~

[supermum_ms]

Hey sleepy head,

I always thought sleeping is natures way of telling you, that you need to rest! No more late night partying with the raccoons and hummingbirds, and just in case you don't know......no you can't list raccoons as multiple dependants. Oh and i'm pretty sure undies work better, when you don't used them as toe bling :o)

Sleep as much as you need, the forum will still be here so just look after your self!

Cheers.........JJ  

[Mike_Shuswap]

We'll take what you're able to give Doc. Look after yourself first. We miss you when you're not here, but your knowledge and wit are always worth waiting for.

Glad you're back, even if just sporadically.

Take care,

Mike

[BOK2Bjan]

Thank you - you reminded me that I need to get my car registration in.  Seriously, I used to not know why I would suddenly need to sleep 24/7 for a week or 2 and it would come out of nowhere.  Of course, that was before I knew I had MS.  Now - it's more like - once in a while I have energy and don't know where THAT came from lol.  I get so down on myself and I know I shouldn't, yet it is just natural.  I can tell you not to and you could tell me not to - BUT - to tell ourselves that it's OK to not get anything done - its hard.

I totally understand and feel your psychological pain.  There aren't any answers of course, other than to constantly remind yourself that when that fatigue overwhelms you - it is your body's way of telling you that you need the rest.  Sometimes I feel unsure about it though.  I take a stimulant which I don't want to do, but it's really the only way I can keep commitments when they're really important to me.  Then - that makes me even more fatigued later - but - oh well.  What are you going to do.

I'm glad that you are "still here".  I haven't been on the site for a long time, but peek in from time to time.  I'm glad to see familiar names/faces, as well as new.  I have lost my internist whom I've had since 1978.  He's been my lifeline and it's been very hard.  I've only had one appt with my new doctor and think it will be alright.  Still don't have a neuro, (or any of the other millions of specialists I need), but now need a neuro-surgeon.  An arachnoid cyst has been discovered in my spine completely closing off the right neural foramen, and partially the left (T11-12) so something has to be done.  I also have an aneurysmal septal defect between my two atriums.  AND failed a stress echo - showed evidence of ischemic heart disease.  That plus an enlarged left ventricle, mild pulmonary hypertension, and I was sent to a cardiologist.  When he saw there wasn't a hole in the septal defect - he said - see you in a year.  HEY - I need a vascular scan!  My doctor would die if he knew that wasn't done.  Anyway - my body marches on toward total failure - but I'm still getting out of the house.  So - happy about that.

My daughter married last year, but I think I told everybody that.  It's hard to keep track of what I've told y'all.  I do think about you and want to come visit more, so will do that.

[Lulu54]

That clock is ticking - an accountant friend said to me just last week 'you would be surprised how many people put off their taxes until this last minute in October."  No I'm not - I'm just thankful I didn't do the same.  I hate these tax deadlines.

If you had sunshine in your area you might feel a bit better - have you thought about getting a happy light?

See you when you get up from under all the baggage of the day. hugs and lightness to you!  
Laura

[valerieev]

We all need some rest and zone out from time to time.  While you are sitting and feeling sad please think of this - your comments and contributions have been so helpful to me.  It's so easy to get lost and overwhelmed with all this crud, and if it wasn't for people like you I think I would find myself feeling very alone and hopeless.  We often don't realize the effect our actions have on other people, and I just want to say that the time you have taken to share your knowledge and experience has had a very real and positive impact on my life.

[aspen2]

Good to hear from you ... i've been worried.  And you answered my other question as well with the sentence, "Oh pooh, I hate b eing unproductive."

[karryon55]

Why don't we just have a slumber party. Sweet dreams :-)

[gypcwmn]

I'm sleeping right along with you :-)

[sllowe]

RipVanQuizzlesticks! Wake uppy!

Toe panties, bahahah

Seriously, do what you can, when you can, however you can. When your can is awake and your taxes are in the can, I mean done :)

Sorry, I'm tired and delirious. - shell