One Step, Two Step

[Sumanadevii]

There is an old scripture from the zen school of buddhism of which I am not a member but found wisdom in it throughout my life.  It's "One step, two step, three steps, four steps fall down.  One step, two step".  A simple enough teaching that needs no teacher to understand.  You fall down, you get up.  But they never address when you fall and can no longer get up.

When I realized what MS had done to my body, I searched our scriptures.  I went over and over notes taken from dharma talks.  I came upon one that had puzzled me the day the teacher gave it.  His talk had nothing to do with his last line...thrown at us like a cannon as he sat so upon the platform begging us to dare question it.  The last line was "Don't be a living doing but a living being".   Over and over I went over his talk not understanding  and to this day I will tell you the talk was a ruse.  His last words the teaching.

Over the years I gave it different meanings.  Maybe it meant to not just do but be.  In other words, follow our passions thus making us a living being.  Maybe it meant not to collect stuff thus our stuff owning us...making us living doings (slave to things) vs a simple life (being a living being)..Over and over those words would change but I was never satisfied with the answers.

Today I believe he was addressing the lack of touch with our innerself (no self in Buddhism..lol..but that is another whole post for a religious board)....A place where peace and tranquility reside...a place to escape from the world filled with sufferings...a place few find but many seek.  There is only one way to find that living being that is though the work of meditation (I do believe prayer can do the same.  I see it in my husband.)  It takes discipline to get there.  You cannot really consider yourself Buddhist if you have never visited that place.  However, life gets in the way (living doings) and we forget the discipline needed to find it (living beings).

Slowly I am making my way again.

How about you?  How do you find that living being?

[Sumanadevii]

Thanks to each of you that poster.  I truly do believe this disease makes us look into our spiritual beings searching for answers.

Tingle, I am at the "Don't try to make it happen, just let it happen".  I so enjoyed in my younger years before all those sons piled into our home (scratches my head...pondering how that happened...lol) being able to reach a point in meditation where nothing could be a distraction.  I remember the first time finding that innerbeing, I was so shocked there was a part of me I had not known it jarred me right back into reality.  It would take months for me to find it again.  So here I am once again longing for the day to so easily find that place when years of non practice has left me but a beginner.  Good for you that you continued!!

Dagun, your English is better than mine and I was raised right here in the USA.  I like how you have reached out without even a name yet want to be thankful for all you have been given.  In my tradition what we are given both good and bad comes from past karma.  It could be this life but usually from a past life lived long ago.

Daphne, when I first read about not becoming slaves to things it clicked quickly for me, too.  Think of just one vase we may own and how often it is dusted, washed, moved, etc over the years of ownership.  Consider now how many one vases we own!!!  Our homes are filled with one vases!!  It is probably why my school frowns on gift giving and we feel it just puts a burden on the receiver.

Be well to each.

Sumana

[DaphneJ]

What an interesting post, I have thought often about how we just live our lives day in and day out just existing but not really living or "being". We work to obtain objects that as you said "own us" Every possession is just one more thing to dust and worry about. With this new diagnosis of MS I really want to put my life in perspective and focus on what truly matters in this life. I am not religious but I do pray because it brings me a sense of peace. There is so much more to life and I don't want to miss out. As you said I want to be a living "being".
Daphne

[Dagun]

I like this kind of thinking. I always try my best to think positive. I don't think I pray, I just "talk out loud" sometimes to God or the One who is there for us. To say "thank you for everything, my wonderful family and how lucky we´ve been in life" something like that.

I am open to all kinds of posibilities, regarding beleving in something or meditating. I'm just so sure off, that if you make the best of the "things" that are thrown to you, you will be happier. Ohh, I can not explain all that I would like to say in English.. I am SO out of words..hope I don't affend anyone.

My best,
Dagun  

[tingletingle]

Hi Sumana,

Yes, I agree that meditation is the key to unlocking your inner self or spiritual side. For years I used to say 'Don't try to make it happen, just let it happen'. I don't even know from where the saying came.

Years ago, I trained to be an actor. I wasn't very good but found a small amount of work across stage, film and TV. I used to do a warm up every day in an attempt to connect with my inner self. It was truly beautiful to find my inner peace for 30 minutes away from the hustle and bustle of life and worry of finding the next job. Unless you are in the top 5% of actors you starve, and I was in the 95%.

Flash forward 20 years later. 3 years ago I found God I only just started meditating in the last couple of months after developing MS but I have found the meditation so much more profound in its effect on my levels of stress and feeling of inner peace. I couldn't have gotten through MS without Him and the meditation.

MS forces us to stop, rest, and take stock of our lives I do believe. I find the discipline of taking time out each day difficult at first but so very rewarding. This little body and brain may not do all the things it used to but through meditation I think I am on a path to higher understanding and acceptance.

This is not everyone's cup of tea I understand but meditation and connection with the spirit has been a huge awakening for me. Thank you for sharing your thoughts Sumana on this topic that isn't normally discussed.

Blessings
Alex