Are these OCD and intrusive thoughts?

[ItsWithAT]

Does this sound like I'm a transgender woman who is also a lesbian, or is it all just OCD?

I've been living as a woman for the past two years and I've always doubted if I was actually a transgender woman. I've been using female pronoun's, using a female name, basically just living like a cisgender woman for the past two years. But, I'm going to be starting HRT soon and I keep getting these doubts of "what if I'm not really transgender", "what if I regret transitioning later in life",  "what if it's just OCD making me think that I'm a transgender woman", things like that.

I have never been diagnosed with OCD because I've never thought to see someone about it, but I also have been doubting things like my sexuality. For example I keep getting thoughts of "am I a lesbian". An example of this is when I look at a woman and I look at her boobs for example I think "why am I looking at her boobs? Am I a lesbian". The lesbian thoughts started when Gigi Gorgeous who is a transgender woman on YouTube who is also a lesbian cake out as a lesbian! That's when they started! I was thinking "what if my sexuality changes on HRT? I want to fall in love and be with a man. How do I know that I might think that I like men or even marry a man and think I love him but subconsciously I am a lesbian". I also struggle with the admiring vs being attracted to women thing. For example, I don't want to have sex with women or have a relationship with women. I don't really get along with many women (is this a bad sign? Maybe I'm rejecting I'm a lesbian since I don't get along very well with many women? Is that possible).

[bluebirds141516]

Okay...
I've had HOCD for 3 years. I'm a female who is obsessed with the possibility of being bi or a lesbian. Sounds like that's the case for you too. Your sexuality can't really change. It is was it is.
A HUGE part of OCD is doubt doubt doubt. I keep doubt every single day of my sexuality and it causes me so much distress. People aren't disgusted by their sexuality. Remember: gay people fear the outcome of coming out not their attraction. Also, just because you think another women is pretty or even sexy doesn't mean you are gay. I once read in an interview with a former HOCD sufferer and she said, "boobs are hot!" I don't remember where I read that.
I think a lot of staring is just connected with comparing and just being a girl. We all want what we don't have so we compare. It's sad, but doesn't define our sexuality by any means.
Now I have a similar problem but I obsess over being trans. I've been a girl happily for my life and now I fear being transgender. It's draining isn't it?
Eh I don't really get along with women. I have social anxiety and honestly I feel very uncomfortable with women, more than men. But I've come to terms with that and you need to as well. It's alright, I know OCD is so much doubt trust me. Girls can be judgmental of each other. That's probably  why. Please take care :).

[Anxiousocd]

Its ocd, im sure you're really transgender but are having intrusive thoughts. I have suffered for years with ocd and intrusive thoughts. You need to see a therapist though. If you're really strongling then you shouldnt have to fight it on your own, hun. I hope you start feeling better <3

[Sweetheartgirl]

Does being a woman makes you happy? Or does it feel forced and you wish u was a man? Do the thoughts of being with a woman give u anxiety and depresses you or does it excite you ? Do you have any compulsions such as proving yourself that you are attracted to men to lessen the anxiety ? If so then it's likely for you to have OCD. From what I have read it looks like you are happy about transitioning from a man to a woman but, your thoughts are making you doubt. I also think that you aren't attracted to women, the video that you've watched triggered irrational thinking, if you've never been attracted to women before you won't be now.