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How to have better control over my OCD?

I have been diagnosed with severe OCD. And I believe I had the genetic composition of it but was never actually activated until my false diagnosis with Herpes 2.

My life has turned upside down. and I cannot engage like a normal person. There is always a fight between my true self and what my OCD wants.

I have been engaging in this ritual where I would take the condom after sex and check a couple of times sometimes 3 but I am limiting it to 2 whether it was broken or anything, I often touch it mid-sex to make sure no stealthing happened, also I pay attention whether he took the condom off when done. This has affected my relationships, and my intimacy ( I cannot get wet anymore because of the thoughts and fear sin my head while having sex)

I also thought, maybe try just cuddling. This has been a struggle for me. even without sex, but it got a  bit better, I would think I will be touched in my sleep and ultimately given something (std)

Moreover, I sometimes have thoughts that I might have disconnected from reality for a few seconds, and I was not present, which has given someone the chance to violate me and ultimately hurt me ( record me, give me something, etc)

I am not sure what to do anymore.
I am in therapy, I am on medication.

Should I see a sexologist? Should I see a therapist more specific for OCD?

Thanks
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Avatar universal
It's possible you have a little OCD with that repeated checking of the condom, but most of your problem isn't actually OCD at all, it's a phobia you've developed about having sex because you are so phobic about getting sick from having sex.  One thing to do is just stop having sex at all until you are settled in with one partner, both of you get tested, and then you don't have to use a condom, you can use a different form of birth control.  That won't, however, fix your phobia, but it will solve your problem.  As to the therapy, what you want is a therapist who specializes in treating anxiety, and most of them don't do that.  Most of them treat things like relationships or just like to sit and talk for ten years.  The therapy most recommend for phobias these days is CBT, and those who do it only do it, the others don't do it very well.  Basic law:  if a therapist doesn't help you, no matter how much you like the therapist, find a different therapist.  If medication doesn't work, find a different medication.  But if this is your only anxiety problem, and you aren't anxious about anything else in you life, therapy can work if you work hard enough at it and you find the right therapist.  In the meantime, OCD isn't known to be genetic or not, so don't label yourself as doomed to have it.  If it runs in families it can also be learned, not genetic.  Anxiety problems are very hard to fix, but phobias are really hard to get rid of but lots of people do.  I hope you're one of them.  
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973741 tn?1342342773
You have your own doctors and we obviously don't know more than them regarding your diagnosis.  We're just like you, regular people speaking strictly from our own experience.  I am glad you are in therapy.  I am glad you take medication.  Intensify that, talk to the caregivers you have.  If your current treatment is not working and your life is still so greatly impacted, then you need to have that addressed professionally with your caregivers to change what the care is.  Medication these days usually starts with something that is either kept but increased in dose, changed to something else or a very common treatment option doctors currently use is to add an additional medication to it.   please talk to your doctor.  We have no answers for you.  Treating the anxiety and ocd and phobia, is the main goal here and that has to be done with your doctor.  
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