So, for some reason, I have been under the strange illusion/delusion that characters from books I read, shows I watch, and video games I play are for some reason watching everything I do and judge what I say and do.
But it’s not everywhere that they do this, it’s just in certain rooms of my house -one of those rooms is my bedroom. Because of this strange thing my brain conjured up, I feel that I can’t do or say whatever I please when I’m alone in my house because these characters are there too and they are listening.
I know they aren’t real, and I tell myself that every day, but my mind just keeps convincing itself that something is there. The worst part is, this has been going on since the 6th grade; it all started with a popular series of young adult books I was super into.
When I was in middle school, I felt like characters followed me around the halls, because that’s where read about them; in school. So, these delusions of mine only manifest in the areas that I watched/read/experienced their characters; i.e. I saw the work they were in. The only place I 100% don’t feel like being watched is outside.
I don’t hallucinate or anything. I can’t see them, but I can feel their presence, you know, kind of like I’m sensing a ghost or apparition. I just feel like I’m always being watched, it’s an anxiety thing.
I guess to make myself feel better about the whole situation, my brain makes the eyes watching me characters I'm familiar with.
I can’t fall asleep easily because of this, and I wrap my whole body in the covers -I look like a giant caterpillar. I hate it when my toes or feet or hands are exposed, because I feel like they will touch them, and I'm actually somewhat scared. I hope this isn’t a vanity of ego thing. I don’t know. I can’t read books with faces on the cover without covering my hands first, because I feel like they are watching me.
Long story short, I feel like I'm being watched by fictional characters in my house.