Pedophile ?

[help_me87]

If a 17 years old Male is attracted to a 14 years old female
could he be a pedophile ?

[marco12]

Not really sure if you are still reading this, but I have exactly the same problem. Exactly. First it was gay thoughts, then went to animals, now revolves around girls exactly that age. I think I don't even find anything attractive and this is pathological again. Anyway, also afraid to look any girl any more.

[ime619]

I am the same way.

[lily168]

Hi, it's good to hear I wasn't the only kid who got intrusive thoughts with 'bad words' and things, I wish I had known  back then what it was :S !
Hope you feel better :)

[help_me87]

JGF25 : Thank you so much for your help, Now I let the thoughts come without reacting to them as I know its just OCD :)

Lily168 : Yes, I remember that I have had these thoughts when I was young too but it went away.
I feel much better now by letting those thoughts come without reacting to it and when any thought come I already recognise them as OCD and let them come without reacting until they go away over time.
Thank you so much for your help :)

[lily168]

My first intrusive thoughts started when I was very young, saying my prayers and a bad word 'popped' into my head. Then the sentence formed, 'God is a _____' I didn't wanna think it but it came in there anyway. I then was so afraid of it happening again I had to come up with sentences to keep it out, like, 'God is NOT a _____' but as JGF25 says it can make it worse when u react to it, and then u continually have to battle it. You know you are not a paedophile, so if the thought comes in I guess recognise it as 'OCD' or an intrusive thought, and continue on. I bet over time those thoughts will occur less. And do take the time to take care of yourself, I let my OCD go on way too long and tried to deal with it myself but really in the end (after years) it never went away....but now with counselling and medication I can see it begin to fade out

[JGF25]

Yes.....the thoughts are creating anxiety and fear and if you ignore them, stop analyzing them, stop giving them any credit in your life, you take the fear away and then the thought goes with it.  

[help_me87]

Also as I've said to you, when I read about anything I don't like I get intrusive thoughts and get sick and panicked, do you have any solutions to not feel sick and panicd?, as I know I will never act on these thoughts, its all about anxiety and panic I have when these thoughts pop in my mind.

[help_me87]

bc26 and lily168

Thank you both I feel better now :)
I know why the thought popped into my head
When I was searching about HOCD I saw many topics about pedophile ocd but I didn't care about them and said inside my self that of course I don't have this type of OCD and continued searching about HOCD.
When I toke control on HOCD by doesn't reacting to the intrusive thoughts, I had my normal life back but that was for 3 days only then from 2 days I saw that 14 year old girl on tv and was attracted to her then as I said the thought of the pedophile popped in my head, if I didn't read about pedophiles, these thoughts were never to come and I would to continue my life normally ( as I had attracted to many girl at that age before and these thoughts had never came to me)
the bottom line is that when I read about anything I don't like, I may get intrusive thoughts about it, thats all.
but I want to know, if I let these thoughts to come to my head without reacting to them, will I overcome them as I overcame HOCD ?
And I just do not want to go to a doctor or a counselor because I see that my situation is mild and not severe, also I have exams right now so I am so busy.

[lily168]

It definitely sounds like OCD, as you said, the thought popped into your head and created this fear!
Sometimes it can be hard to ignore the thoughts, but as you said you are not attracted to pre-pubescent children and you don't want to harm a child, it's just your OCD talking. I don't know any rules about '5 year gap' or whatever, as you said you know yourself you aren't a paedophile.
Hope you are feeling better, please don't let OCD get its hold on you. Since you are still very young it would be good to take care of it now, have you seen the Dr or a therapist? My OCD started quite young and I never got help with it until my 20s, I learned that its easier to change these habits when we are younger so I hope you can go to a Dr or counsellsor and take care of it so you can live your life! :) x

[bc26]

Hi there, please don't feel sick and panicked! As you know yourself, you don't  want to hurt any child and you know you are not attracted to pre-pubsecent children. It sounds like your OCD is just making this fear. Any other 17 year old guy who was attracted to a 14 year old probably would get this thought and not worry about it, but because you have OCD it's making you have fears of being a paedophile because she is younger. I had a friend at school who dated a younger girl, not completely sure of the age difference but I think it was similiar (17 and 14), also I know of a friend in Egypt who liked a girl and again it was a similiar age difference. Also remember the fact that you are worried about hurting a child shows that you are not a bad guy! It definitely seems like OCD. Have you got any help at the minute from Doctor, or therapist? Or are you afraid to mention these worries? they will have an understanding of paedophile OCD if you are worried about telling them.

[help_me87]

Correction
Of course I know that I'm not gay *

[help_me87]

also If I saw a 13 or 14 years old (developed) girl I sometimes get sexually attracted to her and that is making me sick and panicked and I have never ever got sexually attracted to young undeveloped girls (12 and less years old)
I think I have pedophile OCD but I want to make sure that this sexual attraction is normal as a 13 or 14 years old girl is a teen and not a pre-pubescent.
I'm just so sick and afraid of that.

[ime619]

I am the same way.

[help_me87]

Thanks for your help :)

[help_me87]

No, I am Just saying that I am a male having 17 years old and I was sexually attracted to a female having 14 years old that I saw on the tv.
I have OCD and intrusive thoughts from childhood, when I was a child about 8 years old I always was afraid that I might have a disease and will going to die but then I became fine.
and from 19 days I was having HOCD and I was so anxious panicked that I might be Gay and of course I know that I'm gay but its only those intrusive thoughts I had read about intrusive thoughts and known that the only way to make them go away is to make no reaction when they pop in my mind and I have made no reaction and became 90 percent fine till now but then when I saw that 14 years old girl and get sexually attracted to her the fear of being a pedophile popped in my mind and became ancious and panicked again although I was attracted to many girls that have 14 years old before and didn't get panicked but my mind created another intrusive thoughts about children and I was afraid to be sexually attracted to any young girl and was afraid to see any children although that I have read that a pedophile is a person who is say 16 years old and must be at least older than the young girl with 5 years old and the difference between me and her is just 3 and of course I had never been attracted to any pre-pubescent child in my life but I just want to make sure that that is normal and just OCD.

[Kayannaboo]

I really don't think so. She is younger than you but not significantly younger.

[lily168]

Hi there, I'm pretty sure I knew some people who had this age difference and dated at school. Though the 2 people I'm thinking of were religious and just dated with no sex involved. So a romantic friendship I guess. Whoever you are referring to is having the attraction, my reading on OCD tells me that people can have OCD about being a paedophile. It seems like if you feel some attraction to someone, and of course thoughts come into our heads all the time though we have no idea why or how, the OCD reaction is that because they are under the age of consent that makes you a paedophile. I don't think that is true, as paedophilia is when an adult is attracted to a pre-pubescent child. I guess you could read more about 'intrusive thoughts,' which is about how people get thoughts all the time in life, even strange, 'bad' thoughts come into everyone's head, but the problem for OCD sufferers is that we dwell on those thoughts, whereas non-OCD suffers would dismiss them knowing it is nothing. I hope this has helped but I'm not an expert.

[JGF25]

Are you talking  say senior in High school attracted to a 9th grader?