Aa
Constant doubt of reality
I don't know what to do, over 6 months ago the thought 'what if nothing was real' popped into my mind. I cant get rid of it, I can try to reason with it, but it doesn't stick... it makes me feel so alone and depressed. I can be with my family and still not 'feel' them. And the thoughts are constant. Im trying erp on my own, just agreeing with everything and going about my day, but should the doubt eventually go away? I don't want to have to carry this around for the rest of my life.
I'm glad you posted this. Please don't feel alone. I'm 19 and about 3 months ago the thought "What if nothing matters" came into my head. I had a panic attack and remained in a state of complete despair for about a week. Finally I had to get some anti-anxiety medication to help me calm down (I always tried to stay away from meds, but it was necessary in this case). Once I was calm enough I was able to get my thoughts in order. I was anxious and panicked for a couple weeks, but I worked though it. I stopped resisting the anxiety and fear and just let it be. I rested a lot and drank tons of water and did my best to read things that comforted me or made sense (such as The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle).
Finally, I got out of my panicked state and was very peaceful and at ease for about 3 weeks. I am now seeing a therapist who is working with me to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and the obsessive need to control everything-- including things we can't control. I have a need to know the answers to everything and so the constant question of what is life, what matters, what happens after death, etc really bother me. However, I truly am working through it with this therapist. She's a genius. I went to 2 other therapists first before I found her. You just have to know that you will find someone who can help, you just have to find the therapist who is right for you.
As for the feeling of being alone even when surrounded by people-- I totally understand that. In my worst panicked and anxious phases my boyfriend was by my side the entire time. I was so distraught that it didn't instantly fix my lonely feelings. However, take those opportunities when you feel like that to identify what you're feeling. That way you know how to put it into words and then once you can do that, you can find a way to cope. I promise you this can be helped.
I once felt hopeless too. And now, even though today I feel terribly anxious and panicked and want answers to everything, I am hopeful and stable enough to write this post to you and let you know that you aren't alone, you can get helped, and you will get through this.
Also, every time you get through something like this, you grow spiritually and mentally stronger.
Finally, I got out of my panicked state and was very peaceful and at ease for about 3 weeks. I am now seeing a therapist who is working with me to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and the obsessive need to control everything-- including things we can't control. I have a need to know the answers to everything and so the constant question of what is life, what matters, what happens after death, etc really bother me. However, I truly am working through it with this therapist. She's a genius. I went to 2 other therapists first before I found her. You just have to know that you will find someone who can help, you just have to find the therapist who is right for you.
As for the feeling of being alone even when surrounded by people-- I totally understand that. In my worst panicked and anxious phases my boyfriend was by my side the entire time. I was so distraught that it didn't instantly fix my lonely feelings. However, take those opportunities when you feel like that to identify what you're feeling. That way you know how to put it into words and then once you can do that, you can find a way to cope. I promise you this can be helped.
I once felt hopeless too. And now, even though today I feel terribly anxious and panicked and want answers to everything, I am hopeful and stable enough to write this post to you and let you know that you aren't alone, you can get helped, and you will get through this.
Also, every time you get through something like this, you grow spiritually and mentally stronger.
Hello Hosscat, I am in exactly the same state of mind. Did you have a rough time before these thaughts popped in to your mind? I did with the fear of hiv.
Greetings, Erik (The Netherlands)
Greetings, Erik (The Netherlands)
Thank you brush, that gives me a lot of hope :)
And yes worried I was having a rough time with things before this, depression which turned to anxiety, which turned into obsessive thoughts, went through a couple shorter themes before this big one hit.
And yes worried I was having a rough time with things before this, depression which turned to anxiety, which turned into obsessive thoughts, went through a couple shorter themes before this big one hit.
You know what...there is a theory that whole world is like a computer simulation and that we are living in a form of matrix...dont know if you saw the movie named like it.so...
No, I haven't seen it.
Ive been in a pretty bad place lately, lots of suicidal thoughts, though im not planning on doing anything, its just that's how bad its gotten. I don't understand acceptance...what good will it do to accept this horrible idea? Do I just stop thinking about it and life goes back to normal? Its so frustrating having to wait so long to see a pdoc, im afraid after this long wait they wont be able to help me.... how can medicine help doubt?
Ive been in a pretty bad place lately, lots of suicidal thoughts, though im not planning on doing anything, its just that's how bad its gotten. I don't understand acceptance...what good will it do to accept this horrible idea? Do I just stop thinking about it and life goes back to normal? Its so frustrating having to wait so long to see a pdoc, im afraid after this long wait they wont be able to help me.... how can medicine help doubt?
By saying "I'm okay with this" to one of our irrational thoughts we start to take the fear out of it. After a while, you stop fighting and give in and then the thought goes away. I know it sounds counterintuitive but you have to find a way to take the fear away from the thoughts.
So for instance if you think about two people on an airplane and one is afraid to fly because the plane could crash and she would die and is sitting in her seat hyperventilating and the other is also afraid of crashing and dying but gets on the plane and says "okay here I am, what is going to be is going to be and that's it...it is out of my control" This is the person that is able to get a handle on their irrational thinking. By saying scr*ew it basically, she is able to make it through the flight. Maybe she does some controlled breathing to help her (a bit of CBT). Whatever it takes to take the fear away.
Medication helps because it helps us to let the irrational thought go. It helps us to not sit there and dwell on it. It helps us to be like everyone else. If you think John Doe hasn't had the same thought as you, you are wrong. The only difference is they thought it and then dismissed it right away. Lack of certain neurotransmitters in our brains affects our mood and it affects how cells are able to communicate with each other. The medications level out our neurotransmitter levels so that we are more in line with the "normal" people.
So for instance if you think about two people on an airplane and one is afraid to fly because the plane could crash and she would die and is sitting in her seat hyperventilating and the other is also afraid of crashing and dying but gets on the plane and says "okay here I am, what is going to be is going to be and that's it...it is out of my control" This is the person that is able to get a handle on their irrational thinking. By saying scr*ew it basically, she is able to make it through the flight. Maybe she does some controlled breathing to help her (a bit of CBT). Whatever it takes to take the fear away.
Medication helps because it helps us to let the irrational thought go. It helps us to not sit there and dwell on it. It helps us to be like everyone else. If you think John Doe hasn't had the same thought as you, you are wrong. The only difference is they thought it and then dismissed it right away. Lack of certain neurotransmitters in our brains affects our mood and it affects how cells are able to communicate with each other. The medications level out our neurotransmitter levels so that we are more in line with the "normal" people.
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