Constant doubt of reality

[Hosscat]

I don't know what to do, over 6 months ago the thought 'what if nothing was real' popped into my mind. I cant get rid of it, I can try to reason with it, but it doesn't stick... it makes me feel so alone and depressed. I can be with my family and still not 'feel' them. And the thoughts are constant. Im trying erp on my own, just agreeing with everything and going about my day, but should the doubt eventually go away? I don't want to have to carry this around for the rest of my life.

[little_star16]

You know what...there is a theory that whole world is like a computer simulation and that we are living in a form of matrix...dont know if you saw the movie named like it.so...

[Hosscat]

Thank you brush, that gives me a lot of hope :)
And yes worried I was having a rough time with things before this, depression which turned to anxiety, which turned into obsessive thoughts, went through a couple shorter themes before this big one hit.

[Worried197833]

Hello Hosscat, I am in exactly the same state of mind. Did you have a rough time before these thaughts popped in to your mind? I did with the fear of hiv.

Greetings, Erik (The Netherlands)

[brushh]

I'm glad you posted this. Please don't feel alone. I'm 19 and about 3 months ago the thought "What if nothing matters" came into my head. I had a panic attack and remained in a state of complete despair for about a week. Finally I had to get some anti-anxiety medication to help me calm down (I always tried to stay away from meds, but it was necessary in this case). Once I was calm enough I was able to get my thoughts in order. I was anxious and panicked for a couple weeks, but I worked though it. I stopped resisting the anxiety and fear and just let it be. I rested a lot and drank tons of water and did my best to read things that comforted me or made sense (such as The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle).

Finally, I got out of my panicked state and was very peaceful and at ease for about 3 weeks. I am now seeing a therapist who is working with me to get rid of the obsessive thoughts and the obsessive need to control everything-- including things we can't control. I have a need to know the answers to everything and so the constant question of what is life, what matters, what happens after death, etc really bother me. However, I truly am working through it with this therapist. She's a genius. I went to 2 other therapists first before I found her. You just have to know that you will find someone who can help, you just have to find the therapist who is right for you.

As for the feeling of being alone even when surrounded by people-- I totally understand that. In my worst panicked and anxious phases my boyfriend was by my side the entire time. I was so distraught that it didn't instantly fix my lonely feelings. However, take those opportunities when you feel like that to identify what you're feeling. That way you know how to put it into words and then once you can do that, you can find a way to cope. I promise you this can be helped.

I once felt hopeless too. And now, even though today I feel terribly anxious and panicked and want answers to everything, I am hopeful and stable enough to write this post to you and let you know that you aren't alone, you can get helped, and you will get through this.

Also, every time you get through something like this, you grow spiritually and mentally stronger.

[Hosscat]

Thank you, I figure once the anxiety and depression is under control it should seem a lot less scary and more irrational

[JGF25]

The philosophy of life is a tough one but I'm sure that the doctor will be able to help you.  It isn't something you can get closure on per se and so I think it tends to stick around when people don't seek help.  I mean, God or whomever you believe that to be, isn't going to just materialize in front of you one day.  OCD is about control and the fact that we want to control everything about our environment and when we can't do that, we run into problems.  That is why we "what-if" everything.  I think that you will be fine...all the others who posted on here did get over the thought so keep that in the back of your mind.  Take care.