I understand I shouldn’t keep seeking reassurance and that it only feeds into it. I unfortunately had a VERY real incident where an unprofessional phlebotomist used a cotton pad that touched the same arm rest where many other people get their blood drawn DIRECTLY into my fresh needle wound where I had blood drawn from a vein. I wanna test last time for that incident and not for any of these paranoid “I touched a wall what if there was a needle” “what if my brother who just hugged me stuck me” I’m also starting the process to find a therapist or psychologist I just don’t know how long it’ll take
No need to test. That fuels the reassurance seeking. I have the same exact irrational worry.
Yes even now my mind is trying to convince me that I did get stabbed and just forced myself to forget either cause of trauma or because I’m trying to brush it off as just the paranoia. I think I’ll first test to be sure and then tackle the mental aspect.
So, you are on the right path to discuss this as an anxiety disorder. I'm not sure where you are from but how is the psychiatric care there? Do they have doctors who treat mental health disorders? Psychologists and counselors to provide therapy? There are many medications effectively used to treat ocd and anxiety. We can tell you that you are being irrational and had no risk over and over but you know as I do that your anxiety won't accept it. So, all I can say is investigate the avenue of treating your mental health condition. It's the only way.