Aa
ocd of hiv
i want to share my story 8july i was protected sex with 4 women who is csw,s
and at five weeks i get fever only for one day than i just realize and read at the internet this sympthom is same
than i decided to get tested and my test is well negative at 5weeks and my doctor told me to stop testing and entering 6weeks i had also have a same fever again and decided to get tested again but it also negative.
my days is freaking i never went out with mjy friend,and only stay at home only for searching internet about this.
and after 7weeks flu,sore throat,diarhea symthoms and muscle aches come at all to me only for 2days and i decided to get test again at 8weeks and it also negative result entering 10weeks tested again at midnight labrotory near my house and it came back negative and start i see my symthoms is not related that but stressfull and every day im just like the craziest people in the world i feel i just need a psychiatric from now he take care of me with drugs zerlin and alprazoram 0,25 mg but now i really feel i can continue my life but not 100% entering 12weeks i also has tested again for hiv and i have 7doctor told me to stop and my friend told me to stop testing,but my test all is 8 testing with different method and it also came back negative and i feel i was totally the craziest man in the world who have spent my 12weeks life for testing with 8testing different method.
i hope everybody can share with me thank you for all answering.
and at five weeks i get fever only for one day than i just realize and read at the internet this sympthom is same
than i decided to get tested and my test is well negative at 5weeks and my doctor told me to stop testing and entering 6weeks i had also have a same fever again and decided to get tested again but it also negative.
my days is freaking i never went out with mjy friend,and only stay at home only for searching internet about this.
and after 7weeks flu,sore throat,diarhea symthoms and muscle aches come at all to me only for 2days and i decided to get test again at 8weeks and it also negative result entering 10weeks tested again at midnight labrotory near my house and it came back negative and start i see my symthoms is not related that but stressfull and every day im just like the craziest people in the world i feel i just need a psychiatric from now he take care of me with drugs zerlin and alprazoram 0,25 mg but now i really feel i can continue my life but not 100% entering 12weeks i also has tested again for hiv and i have 7doctor told me to stop and my friend told me to stop testing,but my test all is 8 testing with different method and it also came back negative and i feel i was totally the craziest man in the world who have spent my 12weeks life for testing with 8testing different method.
i hope everybody can share with me thank you for all answering.
thx for the advice before i went to therapy i have 10dermatology doctor handle me that the all doctor said i must stop testing.but really i cant believe what they said even all doctor said from their mouth your test will be + if u have a twice fever.
and the labrotory nurses said me that im crazy every single came to test with elisa duo,elisa antibody,cmia,meia,rapid test with blood all came back negative.
i just want to share my pain that before i have received a anti depresant therapy,every day i feel like im the one who suffering this,i asked my friend that had a stds such like syphilis he stop testing at 3weeks with elisa and never test again and he continued to have a sex with csw,s when i heard this i can be very calm down that he is fine till now 5years without any symthom,
so i want to tell you first of all which makes me very scared is my fever at 5weeks i think i will die if i dont test after recovery from fever for one day the third day i decided to go to test and when the test i feel like oh my god please help me please,which the nurse said to me i must calm down because i get out n get in to ask for result that i've waiting 1hours is like 1year after all the result is negative i feel like i wanna cry and after those test i still feel stress because of window period so i search internet every single day i woke up cant sleep properly everyday sleep at 4am to 8am and fever comes again at 6weeks i feel like die this time the symthoms is coming again i decided test again with rapid blood test is also negative.
after 6weeks test one of my doctor told me to stop.but the word cant really help me.
after that i cant eat,i cant sleep even i cant go out with my friend and lost my job because i cant concetrate,lost my job,cant go out to the shopping mall cause my body feel like hot cold sensation,my friend force to take me out to a club but in the club i was very scary look at more girl like csw,s that the girl came near to me i was run out like hell.
entering 7weeks the symthoms of flu,diarhea,muscle aches comes again that i read at the internet is the same like ars symthomps that i go to my doctor to said i had a flu shot the doctor told me everyone can get a flu shot even i was doctor i can get a flu shot.after recovery from flushot i decided to test for a duo test with elisa ag/ab which 2 of this came back negative.that i also reported to my doctor and he said please believe me that u dont have that,still i cant receive the word again,every single day i woke up and read the internet and find another doctor.
i also had a tested at 10weeks with rapid test.is also negative and 11week i used to tested my blood twice with different lab and method 2 result is also -,and i tested rapid test at 12week mark after all i've been throught i realize that im the most craziest people in the world and now i feel my life coming back again 80% that now i eat like a monster,can go with my friend,can playing games and i pray for god everydays.
thx for hearing my complete story.
and the labrotory nurses said me that im crazy every single came to test with elisa duo,elisa antibody,cmia,meia,rapid test with blood all came back negative.
i just want to share my pain that before i have received a anti depresant therapy,every day i feel like im the one who suffering this,i asked my friend that had a stds such like syphilis he stop testing at 3weeks with elisa and never test again and he continued to have a sex with csw,s when i heard this i can be very calm down that he is fine till now 5years without any symthom,
so i want to tell you first of all which makes me very scared is my fever at 5weeks i think i will die if i dont test after recovery from fever for one day the third day i decided to go to test and when the test i feel like oh my god please help me please,which the nurse said to me i must calm down because i get out n get in to ask for result that i've waiting 1hours is like 1year after all the result is negative i feel like i wanna cry and after those test i still feel stress because of window period so i search internet every single day i woke up cant sleep properly everyday sleep at 4am to 8am and fever comes again at 6weeks i feel like die this time the symthoms is coming again i decided test again with rapid blood test is also negative.
after 6weeks test one of my doctor told me to stop.but the word cant really help me.
after that i cant eat,i cant sleep even i cant go out with my friend and lost my job because i cant concetrate,lost my job,cant go out to the shopping mall cause my body feel like hot cold sensation,my friend force to take me out to a club but in the club i was very scary look at more girl like csw,s that the girl came near to me i was run out like hell.
entering 7weeks the symthoms of flu,diarhea,muscle aches comes again that i read at the internet is the same like ars symthomps that i go to my doctor to said i had a flu shot the doctor told me everyone can get a flu shot even i was doctor i can get a flu shot.after recovery from flushot i decided to test for a duo test with elisa ag/ab which 2 of this came back negative.that i also reported to my doctor and he said please believe me that u dont have that,still i cant receive the word again,every single day i woke up and read the internet and find another doctor.
i also had a tested at 10weeks with rapid test.is also negative and 11week i used to tested my blood twice with different lab and method 2 result is also -,and i tested rapid test at 12week mark after all i've been throught i realize that im the most craziest people in the world and now i feel my life coming back again 80% that now i eat like a monster,can go with my friend,can playing games and i pray for god everydays.
thx for hearing my complete story.
I feel your pain. When my OCD about HIV and related STD's started I did exactly the same thing you are doing. Getting tested tons of times and still not believing in the results, going on internet and searching every site...
It also started because of having sex, but then became so huge that everything in my life was made to avoid "possible" infections. For example, I didn't drink at someone's else glass, stop going to eat out because I didn't know how the food was prepared (could possible have some blood on it), cover any tiny scratch or cut I had, fearing that, when something like a knife cut me, I could get infected because that knife could've been cut someone's else before me.
What I mean here is that, if you don't control it, it will take over your life and that's exactly whats happening. The only thing I can say is keep with your therapy.
This year I've developed a fear of going to the dentist (I use braces). Because of that, I've talked to the dentist and told him that I had problems with OCD and he said he understands and that will take all cares I need. However, like you, I wasn't able to believe him, and I kept my thoughts that he would somehow revenge me because I've asked him not to do so. That somehow he would infect me when I was not seeing with a needle or something.
JGF25 helped me a lot with that. My dentist is very kind and concerned about his patients needs and will never do anything to me. That doesn't mean I don't keep thinking on that. I think the hardest part is really believing that the phrase "these are just irrational thoughts". You hear it, but you can't accept it.
By now I'm finnally beeing able to accept that phrase. And yes, Im on meds.
As a last advice, I've also had a lot of symptons fearing that I could be possibly infected. I even developed some kind of hash in my face, was allways with mid fever and was allways feeling bad (every sympton I've read as acute HIV in the internet I somehow developed). I've tested 1,2,4 monts after those symptons.. all negative.
So, don't worry and most important of all, be really serious with your therapy.
Best wishes.
It also started because of having sex, but then became so huge that everything in my life was made to avoid "possible" infections. For example, I didn't drink at someone's else glass, stop going to eat out because I didn't know how the food was prepared (could possible have some blood on it), cover any tiny scratch or cut I had, fearing that, when something like a knife cut me, I could get infected because that knife could've been cut someone's else before me.
What I mean here is that, if you don't control it, it will take over your life and that's exactly whats happening. The only thing I can say is keep with your therapy.
This year I've developed a fear of going to the dentist (I use braces). Because of that, I've talked to the dentist and told him that I had problems with OCD and he said he understands and that will take all cares I need. However, like you, I wasn't able to believe him, and I kept my thoughts that he would somehow revenge me because I've asked him not to do so. That somehow he would infect me when I was not seeing with a needle or something.
JGF25 helped me a lot with that. My dentist is very kind and concerned about his patients needs and will never do anything to me. That doesn't mean I don't keep thinking on that. I think the hardest part is really believing that the phrase "these are just irrational thoughts". You hear it, but you can't accept it.
By now I'm finnally beeing able to accept that phrase. And yes, Im on meds.
As a last advice, I've also had a lot of symptons fearing that I could be possibly infected. I even developed some kind of hash in my face, was allways with mid fever and was allways feeling bad (every sympton I've read as acute HIV in the internet I somehow developed). I've tested 1,2,4 monts after those symptons.. all negative.
So, don't worry and most important of all, be really serious with your therapy.
Best wishes.
Thx for advice,yes I can't hold this anymore so I must need a mental health now I'm recover 80% but not all.I don't want to back at csws is really cause me everything.I lost my job and my every single time with my friend n fiance.but really I never can believe all words that all doctor said even 100hundred doctor said i just can't receive the word before I've a mental health therapy.all my 12weeks is all I'm doing just need every single week for testing,but I quit now.forget to tell I lost my weight about 3kg but now recovery is all I can't eat n I can't sleep everyday cause all this symthoms.
Thx my friend.
Thx my friend.
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Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Condoms are the most effective way to prevent HIV and STDs.
PrEP is used by people with high risk to prevent HIV infection.
You are definitely negative and I'm glad you went to therapy and got on some meds. If they are not 100 percent working then talk to the therapist again and see what needs to be changed to get you to 100 percent.
Also, I guess this goes without saying but stay away from the CSW's. So many guys go back and do the same thing over again and then end up right back where they were. It is not worth it. You are better off taking care of your own needs yourself.
Take care and certainly post again if you need anything else.